" So , I've always been a scheming woman in your eyes , " I said quietly . But I wasn't disappointed . More than that , I was seeing through it all . He was such a proud man - how could he ever truly bow his head for a woman ? " Nate , did it ever occur to you that I was the one who was hurt that night ? " He stepped closer , and I stepped back , slowly , until I had nowhere left to retreat . Leaning against the wall , I stopped . He paused too , confused , looking at me . " What do you mean ? " I said nothing . My mind drifted back to that night . Nate , drunk , was being steadied by me as I helped him to his room . I took off his clothes , tucked him in , then turned to leave . But just as I reached the door , he grabbed my arm, shoved me onto the bed , and lunged at me . His eyes were glazed , his face flushed with desire . I understood instantly - he'd been drugged . I struggled with all my might to get away , but it was useless . What chance did a woman's strength have against a man's ? He tore off my clothes and , driven by the drugs coursing through him , took me . Though I loved him , I never wanted to be with him like that - under those circumstances . It happened . Afterwards , I had no choice but to accept it . But he remembered nothing . When he woke to find me naked beside him , he kicked me off the bed and called me shameless . I told myself it wasn't intentional , that he'd forgotten . But the silence , the coldness , the ignoring over eight years - that was deliberate . " Say something . " He urged me when I stayed silent . " If you want to know the truth , go find it yourself . " Suddenly , I didn't want to uncover it anymore . " Nate , it's over . Please don't come back to disturb my life . " With that , I pushed past his heavy gaze and walked to the bedroom . Nate left . Before he went , he stopped at the door and said , " Even if you take me to court , I won't agree to the divorce . And as for the truth from eight years ago I'll find it out . " I didn't care whether he actually did or not . He was gone , and the pressure lifted from me . Istayed in Norway , focusing on my life and my daughter . I still filed for divorce , repeatedly , even when my petitions were denied again and again . Over time , my feelings about him leveled out . He became just a minor chapter in my life . By the eighth year , when he forbade Alyssa from calling him " Dad , " she stopped caring . She forgot the bitterness he brought , embraced a new education in Norway , and made many good friends . I had suitors along the way , and enjoyed feeling loved . 1/2 CERE YO But when someone proposed , I said no . Marriage felt like a cage- -one I wasn't ready to step into lightly . Nate came to Norway from time to time to see our daughter . I understood he wanted to mend things with her , and since she wasn't resistant , I didn't oppose it . After all , they shared blood - it was natural to let things be . Later , Nate seemed to uncover the truth . He called me , apologizing over and over , and even sent a large sum of money . I ignored him , except for accepting the child support . Meanwhile , I kept dating , searching for someone I'd be willing to marry again - someone who could truly be my love .