Chapter 19 Chapter 19 Riley watched helplessly as Patrick, Max, Leo and Wesley filed out of the room. Leo cast her worried glance but said nothing as he shut the door. She swallowed hard, turning to see Kent staring at the closed door. Finally his gaze flickered to hers. "I'll go too." "Goddess, Kent," she muttered, rubbing her forehead. Please let him go, begged Rose. I want to meet Pax. That's exactly why he can't go, Riley scolded. You won't control yourself around him. She shook her head, blocking her wolf out again as she looked up at Kent. His mouth was set in a thin line, his eyes black. "You'd just prefer to spend more time alone with my gamma then?" She rolled her eyes. "Are you jealous of him?" "No," he snapped, but she knew he was lying. "Kent, please," she sighed. "I really just don't want you there." "I know," he snarled. "You've made that abundantly clear. You don't want me around you at all. You've been avoiding me for over a day. When I'm near you, you just want to bolt. You can't tolerate me touching you. Clearly you can't stand being around me." Riley sat frozen as Kent spoke, his voice rising to the level of a yell by the end. She could feel his hurt surging through the mate bond. She bit her lip as he finally stopped, his face flushed red, his eyes black. "I'm sorry," she finally said. He blinked, seemingly surprised by her response. "What?" "I'm sorry," she repeated. "You're not entirely wrong. I have been avoiding you. But it's not because I don't want to be around you. It's just..." She trailed off, glancing around the room. Kent stood up and walked around his desk, leaning against the front. His eyes had returned to their normal blue. "What is it?" His voice was quieter as he watched her. She sighed, looking back at him. "It's hard being around you. It's hard to control myself. I don't think clearly when you are around. The other day in the elevator..." Her face flushed at the memory. She stood up, trying to shake off some of her nerves. "It's too easy to get swept up in the mate bond, to give in to those feelings. When you touch me, the sparks are too much. I just don't want to get caught up in all these feelings again." She closed her eyes, pressing the heels of her hands into them. He crossed the room and slowly took her wrists, removing her hands from her face. Riley looked up to see Kent looking at her, his expression gentle. "I didn't think about it like that," he said softly. "Why would you?" she muttered, shaking her head. She looked down at where he still held her wrists. "You probably only have good memories of having a mate." 1/3 < Chapter 19 +15 Points > He ran his thumbs along the inside of her arms. "Mostly good, yes." He let go of one of her wrists and caught her chin, raising her gaze to his. "You can tell me what happened with your last mate." She smiled sadly. "I know. I just don't want to." He looked like he wanted to argue but slowly nodded. "Alright. But how about you just tell me if you need space instead of avoiding me altogether? I'll respect that request." Riley felt a warmth spread across her chest. "Sure. I'll do that." He let go of her chin and arm taking a step back. "About this morning, I would still prefer to go with you." "No, Kent." She shook her head. "I would really prefer you not be there. My wolf can be... easily excited." No fair! "I get that," he said quickly. "I really do, but the attacks have been getting worse and I already lost a mate to rogues in those woods once. I'd just feel better if I were with you." She shook her head. "I'm more than capable of taking care of myself. I am a skilled warrior." "So was Lily!" he yelled suddenly, taking her by surprise. "She could handle herself quite well in a fight and it didn't stop her from being killed." His chest rose and fell quickly, his face flushed. Riley stared at him, feeling his sadness and pain through the bond. She took a step closer, placing her hand gently on his chest. Tingles shot up her arm but his breathing slowed as he closed his eyes. "I wasn't trying to upset you," she whispered. "I'm sorry I yelled." He opened his eyes slowly. "I just can't handle that again. Losing her nearly killed me." He bit his lip, his eyes shining. "I lost my mind when we found that camp of rogues. I killed every last one of them myself. Max and Patrick only watched. When it was all over, when I looked around and saw what I had done..." He gave a ragged gasp, his voice trembling. "There were women and an old man, people who couldn't have fought me if they tried. And I killed every last one of them." She felt the same emotion as earlier, but this time she could place it. Regret. "Kent," she said softly, reaching up with her other hand to cup his cheek. He pressed his face into her hand. "You asked if these attacks could be connected to what I did four years ago. And I know they are. I have no doubt that this is the Goddess punishing me for my actions. She stroked her thumb along his jaw. "I don't think these attacks are a punishment," she said softly. "I think Patrick was right the other day when he said that grief can blind you. I can't imagine what losing her did to you." She slid her hand around his neck and pulled his head down to her shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face into the crook of her neck. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and waited for him to calm down. Once his breathing steadied, he slowly released her and they took a step apart. "I won't go with you," he whispered. "Thank you." He nodded. "But can I ask for one thing?" She hesitated. "I suppose it depends on what it is." "Could we find a time for our wolves to run together? Pax is dying to meet Rose." 2/3 Yes! cried Rose. Riley smiled. "Sure. Rose wants to meet Pax too." She took a step back. "I should go get ready. Patrick will be waiting." Kent nodded. "Of course." He hesitated for a moment before taking a step forward to brush a soft kiss across her forehead. "Please be careful."