Nestra leaned back in her seat. The Sunflour was half full early in the afternoon, a testament to Seth’s increasingly fancy baking. Nestra had a bite of coconut profiteroles and allowed the cool ice cream to contrast with the hot chocolate sauce through the breached puff pastry. That was not bad at all. And now she could eat pastries without fear of gaining weight since her body was exactly the same as it had been three weeks ago, when she’d awoken. Praise be. It was weird because her weight should fluctuate according to exercise and diet, even over three weeks. But it didn’t. Her human shell maintained identical and arguably excellent performance but it still took wounds and they still required serious healing. Everything else was normal too. It just… wasn’t changing anymore. Meanwhile, it was too early to tell if her demon self could improve through training and weight lifting or just by killing stuff. Nestra was procrastinating, filling her head with distractions to avoid facing reality. Her hand reached for her calf, eager to scratch at the itchy stabilizing bandage. That was a shit idea so she refrained. The truth was, she was scared. Scared of the news. Her hands gripped the datasheet. It was time. The news flash blinked, ready for view, the letters forming ‘raid on Gidung’ flashing like an obnoxious bait. She pressed play. An aerial shot of the entrance of the Gidung arcology filled the screen. Drone shot, probably. A convoy of black government hover cars rushed towards the entrance. No one blocked their access to the plaza expanding before the doors, but as soon as the agents came out with the white page of a warrant flapping in the wind like a battle standard, the gates of the fortress opened. A short man with a rolled up white shirt and long white hair came out. A large number of gleams followed him in matching business suits, their ties showing the pillar of Gidung in golden filigree. The camera zoomed on the old man, revealing powerful muscles and a light band around his iris. Sun, Gidung’s founder and a light user. One of Threshold’s most powerful gleams and on the cusp of A-rank. But not quite there yet. One of the government cars landed closeby, and from there walked a man in a monk robe. The late afternoon sun shone on a bald scalp. It was an extremely unassuming getup, and yet the oddity of the outfit only made him stand out that much more. This was Shinran. The A-rank gleam walked to Gidung’s founder amicably enough. Nestra understood. One didn’t need to feel aggressive when one wasn’t threatened, and there wasn’t shit Sun could do to stop Shinran. A short conversation followed, then a tech team was allowed in. The video jumped to seven minutes later. The tech team returned with a struggling man in a suit pushed forward by members of Gidung’s own private army. Nestra recognized him when the camera zoomed on an expression of utter shock. Watkins. The Mayor had moved fast. The mix of terror and disbelief on the corpo’s face was a thing to behold, and that said a lot. Despite leading a massive conspiracy with multiple points of failure and causing the death of thousands of people, he looked like he’d never considered there could be a price for that mistake, an effect to that cause. He’d believed himself untouchable, and now, he couldn’t believe he wasn’t. Probably couldn’t believe his corp would throw him to the wolves either. It was Helena’s voice. A little lower-pitched and a little raspy but… it was her. Nestra came in. The room was a mess with clothes everywhere, posters clustering the walls, and supplies strewn about like they’d just been thrown. It smelled of feet and sweat. It was also very dark here. Helena sat on her bed, back arched forward. Matted dark brown hair hung over her face so Nestra couldn’t really see much but the girl’s face appeared like a white sheet when she looked up, and Nestra found herself looking into twin abyssal pits. The only difference between Helena’s eyes and her true own was that demon Nestra had no sclera. That was it. Otherwise, they were the same. The realization shocked Nestra. The others were their own, but Helena? She was like Nestra. Like true Nestra. Well, maybe more of a teen. Her face was too angular, not full yet, and she had acne. There was also something feral and raw there that Demon Nestra didn’t have, even at the worse of times. She recognized kin in more ways than one, and yet… it didn’t feel like a mask. Helena was still a human. It shouldn’t be possible. “Well, look who finally deigned to show up,” the teen spat. The final barb woke Nestra up from her surprise. “Aaaaaand I’m out of here.” “No, no wait. Wait. Sorry. FUCK! Aaaaaah ok ok I take it back. Please come in.” The light of the corridor faded. Human Nestra couldn’t see in nearly pitch black but she could certainly smell and now that she was in an enclosed space, it was fucking terrible. Not rotten but more hormonal teen who needs to do laundry. It took five seconds of looking around in darkness before Helena switched her bedside light on her bedside table. “Sorry, forgot you can’t see in the dark. Didn’t mean to…” “Shit Nessy, it’s been, what, seven years?” “And you return for Ulysses' big day?” “I’m here for you. Aunt Claire said — “ “What a nosy bitch. She really can’t let go, huh? Has to rescue all of us lost kittens or it’s the end of her world. Tch.” “She’s trying, I guess.” “She should try not to be a public disaster, that would help us as well. Not that either of us have a right to tell her, haha. So. Cop, huh? Actually, I don’t care. You’re here for me. Nice. Now, what the hell can you do?” “I, uh, I thought I would listen. For a start.” “Listen. Now. After seven FUCKING YEARS you return to lend me your ear. Fan Fucking Tastic. I’m not doing super well. I also have a therapist. Would you like me to repeat what I said to the therapist? Will that make you feel useful?” “Helena, I already got shit from Ulysses.” “Yeah it’s always been about your pain, right? Yours and only yours.” “I’m sorry that leaving hurt you.” “Damn right it hurt me. You were… you’re my sis and you left me just like that. Poof. Gone. I really really really kept wondering what I had fucked up as a sister to chase you away.” “Not about you, pain blinded me.” “It blinded you. To me?” “Not saying I was right. I hurt you. Just saying I was your age and felt lost. That made me act stupid. I’m sorry I hurt you. I never meant to hurt you. Please accept that I never meant that. I just, I was choking, here, reminded of my failure. I just couldn’t accept that I would be left behind.” “Yeah I, ah shit. I don’t know. I’m being a bitch again but just, I just can’t accept you left me, you know? Just, I was missing you and Mom was missing you and Dad stopped talking about family unity and everything and I was wondering what I did wrong, like, all the time.” Nestra waited. Helena wasn’t done. She stood up and moved excitedly around the room. Nestra realized the teen was a little too thin as well, though it might just be a growth spurt. She lacked the natural grace of other gleams, instead being frantic and almost predatory in the way she moved. It was slightly disturbing and it was no wonder other awakened gleams would pick on it, and possibly her. “I know my therapist said it wasn’t about me. But that’s not what pisses me off so much. You were always there for me, when I was angry and I didn’t get it and you got me and I knew I could count on you. and then you just… left! And there is all this… anger. I just can’t face it. It just takes over and I am SO FUCKING MAD. Yeah so I’m telling you because the therapist said it helped talking about emotions yeah? You don’t have to comment or anything.” “Claire said you fought at school.” “Yeah, got a secondary affinity, force, like dad. It triggers when I lose control and I can’t get the hang of it otherwise. Hurts the other assholes. They FUCKING deserve it,” she said, and her fists contracted painfully. Nestra could see the muscle tensing under her too pale skin. A single tear rolled down Helena’s cheeks and for a moment, Nestra could see the same child she’d played with under the growing pains and the acne. The grown up Helena looked so lost. Guilt filled Nestra’s chest. “I, shit. I didn’t know it was that bad,” she admitted. “I just don’t understand…” Nestra made the decision here and there. A secret shared with more people was a major risk, and there was no guarantee the benefactor wouldn’t… plug any leak. They’d made clear they valued the secrecy of her existence. It didn’t matter. This was her sister and she was hurting. Nestra sat by Helena’s side and leaned forward. “Look. When you’re angry… does it feel like a constant thing eating at you until it explodes then you’re being drowned in a wave of emotions and it’s still you but you can’t help yourself because the wave is just so damn strong?” “Yes! YES! Yeah, I knew you’d get it. I mean, I kinda explained but with different words. Is fine. That’s it, you got it.” “Okay. What about raiding? Done any?” “Not until we’re 18 but the school purchases dokkaebi sometimes. Fucking useless, I can just kill them in one spell and then I’m just too tired.” “Should use weapons.” “Yeah I don’t know, I have trouble coating. It just… eats the practice sword.” Must be using shit materials. “I’m using an ax. Uncoated. Dad and mom disapprove but fuck them. I love axes,” Helena said, somewhat defensively though she tried to be aloof about it. “Nothing wrong with axes. They’re also great for massive damage on armored opponents.” “When you kill a dokkaebi, how does it feel?” “I’m not a psycho!” Helena said, suddenly more guarded. “No not what I’m asking. I just want to check something.” Those big dark eyes bore into hers. “Promise,” Nestra insisted. “Ok, well, like shit actually. They’re just not that challenging. They never let us at something good enough to really push us. I mean, I’m strong as well. But there are rules. The others, they think I do too much. And they say I’m unstable.” “You can only have a proper hunt if the enemy has a chance.” “Look, what I do is I set myself limits. It’s ok to do it in a controlled environment.” “Give yourself constraints. Only use the ax, no magic. Only strike if you can kill in one blow. That sort of thing.” This time, Nestra knew Helena wouldn’t just let it go. “Alright sis, spill the beans. Underground fights?” “Are you murdering random hobos?” “Fuck no how is that a challenge?” Helena snorted, dark humor. Heh. “Look, I’m guilty of doing the same thing I blamed mom for. I left you behind and found excuses for myself, here that I was in pain but… yeah. I abandoned you. I don’t need a long lecture or anything to realize that. It doesn’t matter that I’m not your mom or whatever. You were counting on me as my sis and I left you behind without much of an explanation. I don’t have a real justification but I have an excuse. I was hurting, really hurting, but I’m better now. And I don’t want to abandon you again. I want to help you. I think I can. I can find a way to do it. Can we meet in a couple of days? I gotta check something and I wanna show you something. But not here, too risky.” “Can you tell me what it is?” “Really not here. Trust me. Look, give me your number, I’ll contact you. I might be able to help or at least explain, ok? Just hold on until then.” “So… does that mean you’re coming back?” Helena said with hope filling her voice though she was trying very hard to hide it. “Wellll not coming back home but I am definitely not leaving you again. Even if what I plan doesn’t work, I’ll be there. Somehow.” “Okay! Okaayyyyyy it’s going to be great! Ok, secret secret I won’t tell anyone. Shit, this is great. I mean, it’s going to be great!” “Alright I need to go before Ulysses throws me out on my ass. Keep your visor charged, yeah?” “I don’t do that anymore. I don’t forget.” Nestra gave her sister a long hard look. “Almost never. I won’t this time!” “Alright. Well, at least that went reasonably well. Sorry, gotta go now. Having so many gleams around is giving me conniptions.” “Lies. You crave the mana.” “But not the entitlement. Later alligator.” Nestra left a groaning Helena and walked head first into the broad chest of Hector Palladian, patriarch of the clan and daddy dearest. She took a step back and looked up at his imposing face. Dad had always been tall, even before the Incursion. Now he had filled in as well thanks to his gleam physiology to grow into a titan. It used to comfort Nestra. Now, not so much. “Hello Nestra. It is… good to see you back.” It felt more like an attempt to be pleasant than a genuine emotion. Dad was always like that. Exactingly precise and demanding, then randomly remembering to be nice and caring. It didn’t even faze her anymore. It was his way of showing care. “No actually I was about to leave.” “Ah. I see. I will say so since you returned, but know that our door is always open for you. We kept your old room empty, and I can have the maid ready it for you in an afternoon. You are not repudiated or exiled in any way, remember? In any case, did you talk to Ulysses yet? Your mother? I know she was missing you terribly.” “Then let me walk you back.” Nestra glared. He was in a hurry to see her gone, huh? “It’s not that I want you away, Nestra. You were never barred from our home. It was your decision to leave to find your own path.” But they’d let her go and turned their back at a moment she could have used some love, Nestra wanted to say, but she knew it wouldn’t register. Her parents were technically right. It had been her decision. They hadn’t exiled her. A part of her wanted to yell that she was in a crisis and just wanted to hear she was loved and that there would always be a place for her, but Dad would never understand. He was too big on taking responsibility for one’s action to consider that sometimes people needed help. Including his daughter. “I wish you’d returned at another time. Claire and her hamfisted attempts at social maneuvering… if only she would grow up. Bypassing my authority with the guards as well, in full view of the Century Guild. I do not blame you, of course. You are here for Helena, but between your return and her outburst at the gates, Ulysses must be rather upset. This was supposed to be his big day and taking the attention away from him in any way hurts his image, you understand.” “Right. He made it quite clear too. Poor Ulysses.” “It’s his day, Nestra. He worked very hard for this moment. Skill does not suffice to reach that level. Hard work and a little bit of luck were required as well. Several prominent teams have showed up, perhaps thinking to recruit him for the raiding season.” “Sure, I just didn’t imagine that showing up would be such a disaster for him. My bad I guess,” Nestra replied, this time making the sarcasm heavy. Her father gave her a measuring look. Nestra shrugged. “You have to understand him. You have made finding a long-term partner delicate for him. I believe he was recently refused because her family was concerned that their children would be born without a core.” “Oh shit, should I apologize for existing again? Damn, now I’m potentially contagious as well? You really should have culled me earlier. Sorry for polluting your gene pool I guess.” “It’s not like that, Nestra. Please don’t make it difficult. It’s not our fault either.” “I think you can stop talking now.” Father sighed but he didn’t complain. He merely walked by her side then stood at the corner of the parking spot when she stepped into her car, then when she drove away. He was still there when she turned the corner into the posh neighborhood’s street.