Chapter S After the funeral , I insisted on packing my things before leaving with them . Mom's suitcase still had space for me to pack in a few more clothes - most of them were things Grandma had made for me . they just watched me bustling around alone , their faces showing ... I don't know what . Like I was something embarrassing they had to deal with . Fut I didn't care what they thought . Actually , I was glad they looked down on me . f they didn't want my stuff , they wouldn't try to take it . Chloe , you don't need to pack all this . " The city has everything . We can buy you new stuff . " fut I couldn't bear to leave it behind , and I didn't trust them . o 1 took everything I could use . jad stopped Mom from trying to convince me further . If she wants to take it , let her take it . You and Layla take the train back . I'll drive and help her with the bags . " n that moment , something stirred in my chest . My nose started to burn , and I almost cried . thought they're still my parents , after all . hould I really hold a grudge for the rest of my life over one thing ? taybe I really was too young back then to understand how they cared about me . Ir maybe losing my only support left me so desperate and helpless that I had to give in . grabbed onto that tiny bit of softness they showed me and forgot ten years of disappointment and pain . Like Grandma said - just let it go . in the drive back , it started snowing hard . he fat snowflakes outside the window looked exactly like the cotton stuffing that had scattered from my shredded bear . had was smoking in the driver's seat . Looking at him in the rearview mirror , his brow never relaxed . Don't go picking on your sister when we get back . " ie finally spoke , his voice heavy with irritation and exhaustion Let's just say we were wrung back then " You're almost eighteen now , practically a grown woman . Cut your parents some slack . " If you were half as well behaved as your sister , you think your mom and I would've left you there for ten years ? Those few sentences snapped me back to reality Like that softer , understanding dad from before had been some kind of hallucination . I hadn't even walked through the front door yet . But I was already being painted as the villain who'd bully my sister . 22-24 From Beloved Daughter ' to ' Dead Burdans Chapter 5 What the hell did " let's just say we were wrong " even mean ? A family of four , divided down the middle . They . I Even them not bringing me home for ten years was my fault , my own damn problem . In that moment . I got it - what they meant when they said I was petty , that I held grudges . Yeah , I was petty . I did hold grudges . Every single thing he said hurt . They didn't hold grudges . They were generous . Because they weren't the ones in pain . When I made them unhappy , they could just throw me away without a second thought . ren years . At first . I even fantasized they'd suddenly show up to take me home . fantasized that if they apologized , I'd let it all go . Later I thought , adults have their pride - they can't say sorry . f they'd just give me back the birthday present that should've been mine , I'd forgive them . Finally , I told myself silently : f they'd just talk to me first , bring me home on their own , I'd go with them . Not counting Grandma's funeral . We'd seen each other eight times in ten years . The first time , I was so excited , thinking they'd come to take me home . but the second Dad saw me , his face went cold . " Do you know what you did wrong ? " ne sentence , and I was right back to the day they kicked me out , Making me think over and over : Was I wrong ? What did I do wrong ? Why did I have to be the one to admit fault ? couldn't figure it out , couldn't say it io I chose not to say anything To them , that grant I wasn't sorry , that they hadn't punished me enough . So again and again Do you know what you did wrong ? I didn't know I didn't sprak 50 eventually , I stopped hoping they'd show up , stopped hoping to go back to that house That house where I'd have to swallow every injustice , how my head and apologize unconditionally , just to be allowed through the door . 22:24 From Beloved haughter to Dead Burden & Now Watch Your Perfect P HY BURNI 341 % Chapter 5 There was nothing worth hoping for .