+35 BONUS Chapter 0019 ALEXANDER " I'm sorry that I hurt you . It was the last thing that I wanted to do , but I wasn't given a choice . " " I just said we shouldn't talk about it ! " She snapped before looking down the hallway , fear on her face . " Shit ! We are going to wake her . Just .. just get out ! " " Look , I'm going to be around , especially if you're going to be living with Ben . He's one of my best friends , and you may not know this since you don't answer his calls , but he's been going through a hard time , too . " I said , running my hands through my hair , irritation running through me as the raw skin of my wrists from that rookie cop purposely putting the cuffs on too tight caught my eye . " What ? Is he okay ? What's going on ? " Bailee instantly relaxed . Her concern for her brother was apparent in the way she stood a little taller , as if instinctively preparing to shield or fight for him " He's fine , but it's not my story to tell . Still , I think it would be best if we could put the past behind us to make things easier for him " someone and then tossing " Why did you help me today ? Why didn't you just ignore me ? That's what you're good at , using s them away . " Bailee's face hardened , but I didn't miss how she blinked quickly to hide her emotions . Guilt was a powerful thing , and my chest ached as I realized just how much I had hurt her , But she had one part of that wrong " I never used you , and when we ended. I didn't have a choice . " The pain of knowing what we had was gone had been my first real heartbreak , but I had also been just a kid . My parents had been strung - out addicts , and I had to be pulled out of their home by CPS when I was only thirteen . Yet , the pain of losing Bailee had hurt worse than any time my mother locked me in the bathroom and forgot I existed for a day or two , and it hurt even more than any of the times my father raised his hand at me or took his belt to me . I didn't know how to survive it . Not seeing her after 1 broke her heart had been harder than losing my parents After being in the army , I knew there were far worse things than breaking up with my high school girlfriend . " Yeah , you did. You just didn't choose me . " I ran my hand down the front of my shirt , smoothing the fabric , while subtly feeling for the dagger it felt like had just been shoved into my gut . When my hand came back void of blood and weapon , I licked my lips , ready to try again . " You're wrong . " " Whatever helps you sleep at night . Now , please , just leave . " Bailee grabbed my card from the counter before storming over and shoving it against my chest . Instinctively , I grabbed her hand and held it to my chest , enjoying her touch . Her hand against my body reignited a fire inside of me that I hadn't had in a long time . I was attracted to her , but I hadn't expected it to return this strong from an innocent touch It wasn't right to want her like this She was right . I needed to leave to clear my head and make a plan . If I didn't take the right move I would just push her away . But her touch was like a drug , and every thought in my head was foggy . I couldn't make heads or tails of anything . The sparks traveling through my body from her touch were not what I had been prepared for , and I frowned as an ΤΣ unwarranted wave of of disappointment washed over me when she ripped her arm back +25 BONUS " Now . " She insisted . " I'm going to make things right , Bailee . I need to make amends . " I said , the words coming out before I could stop them . " Amends ? What are you , an addict ? " Her words were dripping with sarcasm , but I could see the concern in her eyes . She was worried I had ended up like my foster parents and was in some 12 - step program . " Not everyone needs to be in recovery to make amends for their past wrongdoings . " Ballee looked thoughtful , and when she remained silent , I decided to take my leave As my hand wrapped around the doorknob , I turned back to her . " I'm going to make things up to you , Bailee . " " We'll see about that . " She called out as I opened the door to leave , and the corners of my mouth turned up at her familiar attitude She wanted me to make things up to her , even if she wouldn't admit it . Bailee could have shut me down , but she didn't . Whether she realized it or not , she had just issued a challenge , welcoming me back into her life , and I had never been one to turn down a challenge .