Chapter 12 Only when I locked myself in my bedroom did I finally let the tears I'd been holding back pour freely . Tanner's words echoed in my mind , each syllable cutting deeper than the last . I still couldn't understand it . How could he abandon aerospace engineering - the dream he'd cherished since childhood ? We'd worked toward this goal together for years , finally scoring high enough for our dream program . Just moments before walking into that restaurant , I'd been glowing with joy , thinking we were about to achieve everything we'd planned together . But I never imagined this . The future I'd fought tooth and nail to build for both of us - he'd thrown it away for someone else's casual request . Even if he had to change his mind , why couldn't he tell me ? Was he really that afraid of me clinging to him ? If he found me so suffocating , then what about that night under the stars on my eighteenth birthday ? That tentative , careful kiss he'd initiated , the way both our hearts had hammered against our ribs - what did any of that mean ? Maybe it was just a drunken impulse he'd acted on , while I'd foolishly read it as something real . Something inside me snapped . The truth was , I didn't have to follow him everywhere . From kindergarten through high school , I'd attended every school alongside Tanner . Everyone - including Tanner himself - just assumed I'd continue shadowing him forever , that we'd never be apart . But what no one knew was that I had my own reasons for wanting MIT . Reasons that had nothing to do with Tanner . Even if he wasn't going , I would have chosen it anyway . I closed my laptop , the application portal I'd unconsciously opened glowing accusingly at me . I had no desire to look at that system again . And certainly no intention of changing my application to follow his lead . He could chase his golden girl to the ends of the earth , but I had my own horizons calling . Since we each had our own paths to walk , there was no point dwelling on what used to be .