Chapter 17 Maybe it was the alcohol , but Tanner's voice was unusually gentle . Usually when I was upset , even when he apologized first , there was always that edge of threat in his tone- " Drielle , cut the drama or don't expect me to take you to Disney World . " And I'd always take the olive branch , forgiving him instantly . When you're head over heels for someone , you can't bear to actually burn bridges . But this time was different . The more tender he sounded , the more my heart twisted in agony . " Come on , say something , Drielle … baby … what do you think ? " " You're always talking about wanting a beach vacation … I heard Georgia Tech's campus is gorgeous , you'd love it there . " " MIT is honestly way too intense anyway , and Boston winters are absolutely miserable . You hate the cold - yourd be crying by November … but if you really want to go , I could visit you during spring break … " Tanner rambled on and on , like he was trying to convince himself as much as me . Like switching to Atlanta was somehow for my benefit . I listened in silence for a while , my chest getting tighter with every word , before I couldn't hold back anymore : " Tanner , isn't there something you should tell me ? " My voice cracked without permission , betraying eighteen years of trust crumbling in real time . I thought maybe if he could just be honest about what he'd done , we might salvage some kind of friendship from this wreckage . But if he kept dodging the truth , then we were truly done . He only hesitated for a few seconds before mumbling : " … You already know , don't you ? Why are you even asking ? " " You've been pissed at me all day over this . Such a drama queen . " " Look , they're both good schools , and you picked a major you love . As long as we're together , it doesn't matter where we go … Tanner kept talking in circles , saying everything except what actually mattered . The cowardice in his voice made me want to scream . I was done listening . This was his last chance . And he'd blown it spectacularly . Before he could finish his pathetic rambling , I hung up and powered off my phone . I glanced at the clock - the second hand had just swept past midnight . No going back now . Maybe it was for the best . We'd both chosen our paths . We'd both gotten what we wanted . I turned off the lights and forced myself to lie down , but my body was shaking with rage and heartbreak Behind my closed eyelids , Tanner was everywhere . 14.7 % Chapter 17 Happy Tanner , sad Tanner , goofy Tanner , angry Tanner - every version of him I'd ever loved . We'd grown up together , two kids figuring out the world side by side . His presence colored every memory I had. I'd never imagined it would end like this . Late nights have a way of breaking down your defenses . Despite all my efforts to stay strong during the day , tears soaked through my pillowcase before I even realized I was crying . The sobs came in waves - ugly , body - wracking grief for the future I'd just burned to ash . I must have cried myself to sleep at some point . When I woke up , it was past noon , and my eyes were swollen shut . My phone showed a dozen missed calls and texts from unknown numbers . All from Tanner . I deleted them without reading , my finger shaking with fury . Snapchat was blowing up too . Joy had added me to some group chat with her friends , and people kept tagging everyone to spill tea about last night .