Chapter 1 !! My husband was celebrating the birthday of his first love's son while our little boy lay dying . I called him from the hospital . I begged him to find the best doctor for Clea . He snapped at me and hung up.X " Don't interrupt us ," he said coldly . " Therese , if you let your jealousy spiral again , I swear I'll divorce you . " So I stayed by our son's side alone X I held Cleo's hand as it went cold in mine . I whispered lullabies while machines flatlined . I kissed his temple and watched his chest still . My arms stayed around him until the nurses pulled him away . That was the first child I lost . The incineration chamber smelled like burnt air and old metal . Dust floated in shafts of sun , soft and cruel , and maybe some of it was already ashes from someone else's child . Soon , my baby would be like that . I stood there in a black dress that barely clung to my bones . I hadn't eaten in days . I didn't feel hunger anymore …. just hollow . My eyes were red , nearly swollen shut from crying . But now , I was calm . Too calm.E I reached under the edge of the white cloth and touched his tiny , pale hand . It was cold . Stiff . I slipped two little blue origami . stars into his palm . I'd made them last night with shaking fingers , because I didn't know what else a mother was supposed to do . & " Cleo .. " The staff glanced at me , then stepped forward . Gently . Like they were scared I'd break . But I was already broken . He peeled the cloth back . There he was . My Cleo . Seven years old . Barely looked five . So small . Too small . His lips were chapped . His chest was sunken . The IV bruises hadn't even faded . There was no dignity in the way he'd died .. just a slow , painful decay , while the man who was supposed to love him most chose to smile at another child's birthday cake & I stood frozen . I couldn't scream anymore . I couldn't cry . I'd promised to protect him . And I didn't . God , I didn't . N The man beside me tried to whisper something kind . " I'm … I'm sorry for your loss . Your son fought hard . The infection took over too fast . " I didn't answer . I just looked down at Cleo's face and Then I whispered , " You can burn it " ed a piece of hair behind his ear . He always hated it when it got in his eyes . Let him go to heaven . He doesn't belong in this hell " T The staff hesitated , then slid his tiny body into the fire chamber . Maybe they pitied me , or maybe they didn't care . I didn't care either . Cleo was free now . He didn't have to beg anymore . Didn't have to ask questions I couldn't bear to answer . " Mom … why doesn't Daddy like me ? " " Mom … why does he only play with Jude ? " " Mom … did I make Daddy stop loving you ? " ! I blinked hard . The memory of his voice kept looping . Like a curse . I remembered every time he asked those things . Every single time I had to swallow my pain and lie because the truth would've broken him too soon . But now he was broken anyway Toren killed him . !! He promised Cleo artrip to the amusement park . He said he'd win him the biggest bear in the world . Instead , he left town to celebrate Leo's party with Ruby . Torrren even answer when I called to say Cleo was burning up with fever and could barely breathe . Said I was hysterical . Then hung up.X By the time I got him admitted to the hospital , it was already too late . The Infection had spread to his blood . His lungs collapsed . His little heart gave up.8 I clutched him to me , trembling . I didn't even cry . I was scared my sobs would scare him . I just held him and kept whispering . " Mommy's here . Mommy's here . " 0 P. But I was too late . Ever since Ruby came back with her son and her crocodile tears … Toren's been treating me like the enemy . He called me . unstable . Locked me in the house . Cut off my cards . Told the world I was jealous . Delusional . Dangerous . [ " You hurt Ruby and her son , " he said once . "I'll make sure you pay double . " And he did . He made sure . Now I stood outside the cremation center , the urn in my arms . It was small and light and blue . Cleo liked blue . & I held it close . Tighter than I ever held anything in my life . !! " We're going home , baby . " E I The wind blew my dress around my legs . The sun was warm . But I had never felt so cold . So hollow . So alone . -8 When I came home with Cleo's ashes , I walked in on Ruby Arthur pressing a kiss to Torren's cheek . Her hand lingered on his shoulder . Torren , thank you for giving Jude the best birthday , " she said sweetly . " But … is Cleo okay ? Therese called earlier and she sounded- " Torren didn't pull away this time . He placed his hand on her waist and smiled like he wasn't a man who had just lost his son . Like he hadn't left me and Cleo to rot in a hospital room . " She only said that to get me back , " he replied . " She's always been a drama queen . A toxic mother . I regret ever having Cleo . He turned out spoiled . " 8 I stood frozen in the hallway with the urn pressed against my chest . The tears came before I could stop them . I thought I had no more left . If they wanted each other , I'd let them . Torren finally saw me and jerked his hand back . His face twitched . Guilt ? Or just inconvenience ? " You should've told me you were coming back , he muttered . " I was about to send someone to get you , " He forgot what happened the last time I arrived alone at the docks near his private estate . I asked him to come pick me up . He said he was too busy . I asked if he could send one of his men . " He spat , " My crew aren't your chauffeurs . Stop acting like a princess or I'll file those divorce papers myself . " " That night , I almost got kidnapped on the walk to the villa . When I called him , panicking , he only said , " You're stupid for walking alone . What did you expect ? " But when Ruby needed a ride , Torren dropped everything . Even sent cars for her . Even sent men . I looked him in the eye and said flatly , " It's fine . " He stared at me longer than usual . Something in his gaze shifted . " Did Cleo get better ?" he asked.X