Chapter 4 Once my college applications were settled , I locked myself in my room - really more of a study - and started live streaming to make money . My mom never gave me a dime for tuition or living expenses , so I had to fend for myself . I always kept the door locked to avoid interruptions . But of course , my mom wouldn't let me have peace . She slapped at the door like a woodpecker , calling , " Lauren , want some fruit ? " " No. I'm allergic ! " I yelled back . She pretended not to hear . " Lucky you - your brother didn't finish his breakfast . There's mango left . Come eat it ! " Yeah , right . Leftover mango ? More like the pit with a few sad scraps of fruit still clinging to it . I shouted , " I said no ! I'm allergic to mango . Do you want me dead ? " But she kept at it , syrupy voice dripping through the door . " This mango's so sweet . Mom saved it just for you . " We could never have a normal conversation . She acted like nothing was wrong , babbling outside my room for hours . My dad , sick of the noise , came over and kicked the door . " Lauren , open up already . Your mom's just trying to care for you . What's the big deal ? Eat the damn fruit . Who are you guarding yourself against ? " Care ? If she wasn't trying to kill me , I considered that a blessing . The more I pushed back , the harder she pushed . It was like she treated my resistance as some kind of obedience test . I finally cracked the door open , glaring . " Can you stop bothering me ? I'm streaming . If I don't earn , are you gonna pay my tuition ? " She laughed coldly . " Pay for you ? Please . My money's for Flynn . Don't even think about it . " My dad added gruffly , " We know you're stressed , but your mom cut that fruit up just for you . And this is how you treat her ? " " For me ? Don't try guilt - trip me here . " Then my mom shoved the plate of mangled fruit toward my face , her tone cloying . " Lauren , come on . It's sweet . I saved it especially for you . " I smelled the mango , and it was so strong I almost saw my life flash before my eyes . I was halfway to the light at the end of the tunnel . I forced a smile . " Thanks , Mom . Mango's my favorite . " I took the plate , shut the door , and dumped the whole thing in the trash - plate included . I wasn't going to torture myself anymore . I wasn't about to pick another fight either , not before I could finally leave this house . The best thing was to play along , let her enjoy her twisted sense of satisfaction . When I didn't eat mango in front of her , she started shouting outside my door . When she saw I wasn't coming out to apologize , she , grabbed a clothes rod and banged on the door . " Lauren ! Open up . The weather's nice - I'll air your bedding for you ! " I ignored her and believed thatshe'd get tired eventually . But instead of leaving , she pounded harder . Finally I screamed , " Hit that door one more time and see what happens . I swear I'll come out there and end you . ' Silence . She only stopped when I lost my temper . How utterly demeaning .