Chapter 22 ** Chapter 22 : Stay Away From Me ** When Hayden first disappeared , I'd held on to a sliver of hope . But after my cat , Candy , died , it hit me hard that he was really and truly gone . For a while , I had this crazy thought that he was lonely up in heaven .. That he missed me , but couldn't bring himself to take me away , so he took Candy instead - a sweet substitute for me . I felt sick , so I went up to the roof for some air . I don't know how long I was up there before a warm cup appeared in front of me . I turned and saw who it was , but didn't take it . " What are you doing on the roof ? Where's Renee ? " " She went home . " " Why'd you let her go home ? It's so late , you should've had her stay the night at your parents ' place . " Hayden forced my fingers open and pressed the warm cup into my hand . " Our old bedroom is still there . If she saw it ... it would be hard to explain . " My hand tightened around the cup . " Right . " I'd burned everything in that room , but it was still the room we'd lived in , the bed we'd slept on . Hayden took a step closer , stopping beside me . " It's windy up here . Your cold isn't better yet . Don't stay out too long . " I asked him , " Why didn't you drive Renee home ? " " You're going to start coughing again . " " Did you call an Uber for her ? " " Drink your water while it's hot . " He obviously didn't want to answer me . Cradling the cup , I took a small sip . Honey water . It was light and sweet . Soothing for my throat . " Aubrey , do you really have to leave ? " 1/6 Chapter 22 I just hummed in response . " You're set on it ? " I tilted my head to look at him . " Weren't you the one who couldn't wait to get rid of me ? Now that I'm actually leaving , you keep asking . Aren't you afraid I'll change my mind , go back to my old ways , and ruin things for you and Renee ? " " You wouldn't . " " Who says ? I'm not even sure myself . So you'd better hurry up and marry Renee while I'm in a good mood and feeling generous . " Hayden repeated , " You wouldn't . " I straightened up , asking tentatively , " Do you know something ? " Hayden looked down at me . " What should I know ? " " Did you just see your dad ? Did he say anything to you ? " Hayden shook his head . " Didn't see him . " " Then why ... " " I just have this sudden feeling . Like if I let you go this time , I'll never see you again . " I laughed dryly . " Wouldn't that be great ? " " But Aubrey , the thought of that just ... it makes my chest feel so tight . " It felt like a sharp jab to my heart . Hayden asked me , " Can you please not go ? " I shook my head . " I can't ." " You and Renee get along so well . You don't have to worry about being around us . And Mom and Dad don't want you to leave ... " " Hayden , I have my own life to live . Before , when I thought you were dead , I felt like I had to fulfill your duties -to take care of your parents for you . But you're back now . You're their son . It's time for me to go live my own life . " " I love to travel , " I said . " It's my passion . " Hayden nodded . " ... Caroline told me . " " Then don't try to stop me . Let me go do what I love . " 2/6 Chapter 22 " Why have you been avoiding me these last few days ? " " I haven't . " " You don't want to talk to me . " 7 Iwas thehell I was speechless . " Hayden , what the hell do you want ? You want the ex - girlfriend * and* the new girlfriend ? the ex - girlfriend * and * the new girlfriend ? What is this , ancient times ? You think you're entitled to have it all ? " " That's not it . " " Then stay away from me . " Hayden said , " You're the one who said we could be like brother and sister . " I scoffed . " What's so funny ? " " Are you that dense ? Your parents raised me . I couldn't just cut you off completely , could I ? Saying we'd be like siblings was to make them * feel better . " " So ... you do still have feelings for me ? " I burst out laughing . " Yeah . You scared ? " " I'm not . " " Insane . " " Aubrey ... that day at the Serene Peace Temple . I think I remembered something else . " " You said you wanted to pray for a good match , and I got so angry . " But I'm three years older than you . I'll get old before you do . So I thought ... if you ever got tired of me and fell for someone else , I'd let you go . " A wave of irritation washed over me . " You're talking nonsense again . That never happened . ' " It did , " Hayden said . " I remember it . Clearly . " 11 I pressed my lips into a thin line , then tilted my head back and downed the entire cup of honey water . But I drank too fast and choked , starting to cough again . Hayden reached out to pat my back , but I shoved him away . 3/0 Chapter 22 " Hayden , can you just stay away from me? " His hand hovered awkwardly in midair . add doctor tomorrow . You've been having I looked at him and said , enunciating every word , " You should go these delusions lately ... I hope it's not a relapse . You and Renee are about to get engaged . Don't let this mess it up . " With that , I fled the rooftop . Back in my bedroom , I finally broke down . I buried my face in my thick comforter and sobbed . * Why me ? * * I haven't done anything wrong . * * Why is God doing this to me ? * * He's finally starting to remember . He's even starting to feel something for me again . * * And yet ... I have to push him away one more time . * * I hoped for three years , waited for three years , only for it all to fall apart at the very end . What did I do wrong ? Why is the universe so determined to torture me ? ! * Knock , knock , knock- Someone was at the door . " Aubrey . " It was him again . I swallowed my sobs , trying to make my voice sound normal . " What ? " " Open the door . I need to ask you something . " " I'm in bed . Let's talk tomorrow . " " It's about my engagement party with Renee . " I hesitated for a moment , but got out of bed and opened the door . Not all the way . Just a crack . " Go ahead . I'm listening . " Hayden asked , " You said you're leaving . Are you waiting until after Renee and I are married ? " I frowned . " Just say what you mean . " Chapter 22 " If I don't get married ... will you stay ? " Slam . I shut the door in his face . He started knocking again . But I ignored him . Let him knock . After a while , the knocking stopped . I curled into a tight ball , wrapping my arms around myself . Just as I was drifting off to sleep , I heard his voice . He hadn't left . He said , " I get it . I'll marry Renee as soon as possible ." " You said the engagement party is next week? Then it's next week ." " Stop crying . You're not as pretty when you cry . " I could listen to the first two sentences calmly enough . But that last line ... it pierced me to the core . Hayden was never good at comforting people . So many times when I'd cried , that was the only thing he knew how to say : " Stop crying . You're not as pretty when you cry . " I'd heard it so many times I could recite it in my sleep . But it had been five years since I'd last heard him say it . I couldn't hold it in anymore . A sob escaped . It was louder than I meant it to be . I clapped my hand over my mouth , desperate not to make another sound . Bzz- The phone on the pillow beside me lit up . A new text came in . [ Hayden : I'm gone now . If you need to cry , just cry . Don't hold it in . ] 5/6 [ Mayuen Once I was sure mayden s bathroom . visieps liau Seeing the blood - red water in the toilet bowl , I wasn't actually that surprised . My doctor had told me a while back that in the late stages of cancer , the cells can easily spread . My abdomen had been throbbing with a dull ache for the past few days , but I was so busy trying to mediate the standoff between Mr. Hughes and Hayden that I hadn't paid it much attention . I just figured I'd eaten something bad and it would pass in a couple of days . But today , the pain in my stomach was too sharp to lie to myself any longer . I pressed the flush button , watching the crimson - streaked water swirl away . More than anything , I just felt a sense of hollow resignation . The doctor said it , right ? I only have two or three months left . This is to be expected . My phone buzzed twice . I picked it up . It was another text from Hayden . ** My Big Dummy : ** I made some honey water and put it in the fridge . There's hot water in the thermos , so mix some in to warm it up . ** My Big Dummy : ** Don't drink it cold . I clutched my phone , thinking hard for a long time- I couldn't let this go on . I had to find a way to end all of this , to leave the Hughes family , and fast . Only , things were about to get a lot worse than I imagined . The next morning , Isabelle Pearson showed up . She even brought gifts . " Mr. Hughes , these are just some specialties from my hometown , nothing too fancy , but this fish collagen stew is wonderful for your health . My parents heard you weren't feeling well recently and had it sent over from back home last night . " It's hard to be mad at someone who's smiling at you . 1/4