In nearly the same breath, Irene quickly corrected herself by saying, "You don't have to answer that. Forgive me for overstepping." Her face wore a terrified expression. She had pushed a bit too hard while they were getting comfortable with one another. It truly was none of her business, and she should have convinced herself of that before getting so out of hand. The plethora of expressions she witnessed on the Commander's face because of her question was enough for her to realize that she had gone too far, yet the older knight still responded, "You didn't." His voice was soft enough that she had to listen hard over the crackling of the fire to hear his words. He pushed his hair out of his eyes, and she realized it was probably a nervous habit in the way that she often played with her hair when faced with something uncomfortable. That also meant that he still hadn't put up his guard. Perhaps she hadn't offended him completely, after all. "I was in love with her," the Commander admitted, nodding as he spoke. Irene tried not to grab her chest at the pang in her heart. She wasn't sure what answer she wanted to hear, but she didn't think it was that. How hopelessly pathetic she was. What would it be like to have the heart of someone like him? He was so different from anyone else she had ever met. "I thought I was, anyway," he continued with a humorous laugh to punctuate his sentence. "But there's only so much someone can take before they realize someone's love is harming them. Now sometimes I feel empty, like a piece of me was left behind. Each day I'm finding new reasons to keep going." However, as selfish as her feelings had become, she realized that all she wanted for the kind man was a love that didn't hurt him the way the Princess's seemed to. The Commander was gazing at the sky where he leaned against his pack, contemplating his own words after he said them, so Irene took that moment to settle back into her blankets. Miserable was she that only now was she just realizing she wanted to be loved the way Henry had seemed to love Princess Marie at some point. Her mother told her that a knighthood was not a place to meet a partner, and she was certainly correct about that. For the first true time, Irene questioned her decision to choose a sword over the tenderness the world could offer her if she chose to be the noble girl she could have been. How could she know that this was something she would desire as she got older? However, it was equally as painful to think of ignoring the blood that ran through her veins. The Sünstoian blood that made her want to fight for what was right and protect the duchy from monsters that always threatened to harm the people. And now she was even a Volna, the only one who could pass along certain blessings from the Sünstoian gods and to the people. She couldn't leave it where the conversation had stopped, and although her eyes remained on the sky above, she said, "I think it's honorable that you still lead the order with all of this going on in your heart. I hope you find someone who makes you happy and doesn't hurt you. There will be families all over Chemois offering their daughters." However, the laugh that the Commander offered was a bitter one. "Until I have advisors knocking my door down because I need to find an heir, I'm not interested in exploring the ways of the heart," he admitted. "I grew up thinking I would marry for love. I guess my circumstances have changed." She wanted to argue with him, but she was becoming tired. In that moment, she resigned herself to the same thing. She would also figure out how to stop herself from wanting to explore the ways of the heart. It would be best for her to focus only on her knight duties and nothing else. Becoming the greatest knight was still her highest priority in life, after all. These feelings were a minor bump in the road. The Commander sat up eventually to tend to the fire, and Irene felt herself feeling fainter and fainter until she was completely asleep. At least the sweet release of sleep would afford her a few moments where the nerves because of the man so close to her didn't affect her so badly. She especially wasn't aware that he gazed at her for a few moments before he settled down himself, resigning himself to the position of guard so nothing else would happen to them. Hours later, the golden sun rose for a moment before being plunged into the darkness of the clouds that clung to the higher elevations of the mountain. Dark brown eyes watched as what felt good for a moment cast them in darkness once more. The Commander added another log to the fire as quietly as he could, knowing that the woman nearby had stayed up later than she probably should have. After saving his life, she was owed a bit of rest. However, he should have known better because shortly did the woman stirred, and her reddish eyebrows knit together in silent protest of being awake. All he could see was a small portion of her face. He hid a smile as she came to and the Commander returned to where he had been leaning against his pack for most of the night. Despite the frost that had settled in the grasses as Irene opened her eyes, she found that she had remained awfully warm. It wasn't just the fur and blankets over her body, but someone tending to the fire all night. At this realization, the woman sat up and she recalled the events from the previous night and the man who had forced her to realize so many things. While she felt nervous facing him first thing in the morning, hoping that she looked suitable enough, she still searched for him until she found him in much of the same position as the night before, leaning against his pack with a somewhat serene expression on his face. "Did you sleep at all?" she asked, worried. "Good morning to you, too," the Commander greeted her. "I didn't sleep anymore, but what I got before the wolf came was enough." Fresh chapters posted on 𝙣𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙡•𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙚•𝙣𝙚𝙩 He had been worried that the conversations from before were going to make her standoffish with him, but when she sat up and started fussing with her things as she decided it was time to get ready to face the day, her words to him seemed to come naturally, and he was instantly relieved. "Who do you listen to well enough that will force you to sleep early this evening?" Irene mused as she began to get a pot out for a small breakfast. "Felix? Perhaps even Ingrid would be convincing…" "Unnecessary," Henry responded. "The head maid fusses over me enough as it is." "I think it's a good thing," Irene suggested. "She is very thorough in her care and quite a good secret keeper." "You don't have to convince me of that," Henry joked. Irene wasn't moving much as she got together oats, water, and honey. The Commander seemed to take notice of this and was soon kneeling in front of her. "You ought to let me see your leg one last time while the food is cooking," he suggested. However, when she relented and offered her foot clad in her brown boot, both of their eyebrows shot up when the boot didn't move at all. "I think it's swollen," Irene realized. "If we take the boot off, I don't think it will go back on so easily. I will have to leave it until I can get in front of the mages." The Commander's worrying didn't stop there, though. "Why should it be so swollen? You stayed off of it all night—" He stopped himself and gasped in realization. "When you attacked the wolf, you made it worse, didn't you?" "Are you blaming me for saving your life?" she quipped. The Commander's dark eyes lifted and he silently challenged her, realizing the expression she wore was teasing. "You're going to make me feel guilty. I'll carry you down the mountain if I have to." "I'll survive," Irene insisted. Since there wasn't anything more to be done about her foot, the Commander made sure her bandages were still secure on her shoulder. Only when he was satisfied about the state of the bandages did he let her go. "It's time to eat," she said after crawling toward the small pot. They needed to restore their energy before they could move on for the day.