Everyone's Feeling Bad - Part I She ignored Phineas offer and then looking him right in the eye answered the call from her husband. Her tone was emotional, and she was angry at herself for it. "Kyst, I can't talk right now." Immediately he heard the tremble in her voice, "baby, what's wrong? Where are you? Are you at work? I'll come." "No. Um, I just got back from the doctor's office. I had another miscarriage." "What? Baby, where are you? Stay where you are and I'll come pick you up." "Please Kyst. I called my mom and she's going to -" "It's not her job, Juni. It's mine. It's my responsibility to help you. Why didn't you call me right away?" "Because I knew it was going to happen, okay? The stupid appointment you missed on Friday, well the doctor told me I was pregnant, but I was already cramping before I even left there. I didn't want to tell you because I knew it wasn't going to last. I knew it wasn't going to work. I'm angry and I'm sad and I can't look at you right now, Kyst." "You're upset because I wasn't there Friday when you found out. 1/5 11:40 Oh baby, I am so sorry." "I need space please. I want you to just back off and let me breathe through this one on my own." "Honey, I'm not comfortable." "I don't give a shit what you're comfortable with!" she screamed suddenly and the three men in the room all jumped in surprise. "I'm the one hurting. I'm the one standing in the middle of a room bleeding while my pelvis feels like it's being ripped from my body. I'm the one whose body keeps failing over and over. You don't get to complain about being uncomfortable when I'm the one who is being torn apart. I want my mom. I want you to leave me alone, just like you did Friday." She hung up on him and fell to her knees, sobbing. Why was this all happening at once? Again, it was Phineas who scooped her off the floor and carried her to a chair and held her on his lap sideways, crooning softly in her ear while she cried like the world was ending against his chest. It felt like hours before her sobs ceased, her throat raw and her eyes burning and swollen shut. Despite the cramping in her belly, the very tangible evidence of her heartbreak staining her pants, she didn't have the energy to push out of the tight embrace the serious man held her in "It's going to be okay, I promise," Phineas whispered softly his cheek resting on top of her head as he rocked her back and forth. 2/5 11:40 His hand rubbed circles on her back, and his voice was soft and soothing. "Juniper," Benicio reached out and touched her cheek when her crying turned into little hiccups. He took in the sight of her swollen eyes, "Oh, sweet girl. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I wish I could fix it for you." He crouched right down and stared at her, "The shower is all set up for you to get cleaned up. I put out a couple of towels. We knew you wouldn't want to go home right away so we even have some clothes for a couple of days here for you. I put some pajamas in the bathroom. I just sent Adil down to the pharmacy down the block to get some feminine supplies. Maybe a nice hot shower will make you feel better though." "Oh god, I'm bleeding all over you," she looked at Phineas in horror, surprised she'd been so consumed in her grief while she knew she was bleeding she hadn't considered it was on him. She also hadn't noticed Benicio fluttering around the condo or how Adil left. "It's okay. Adil once shat on me when we camping. This is nothing." He winked at her and nodded, "true story. No matter what he says, no matter how fucking cold it is, do not let him spoon with you after he drank three espressos from a gas station." She giggled in spite of her situation, "this is all so horrible." "Yes it is. A hot shower, a change of clothes and a cup of the tea 3/5 11:40