Chapter 15 What essential oil is best to get people to stop talking to you? -Creole to Audric CREOLE I'd never felt so happy in my life, and it had everything to do with the man who was currently on the phone with me, trying to talk me into a date. "I'm so sorry," I apologized. "But I seriously can't. I have to work, and as the senior flight attendant in charge, they need me. There aren't enough experienced flight attendants anymore for me to just take the day off." He growled with barely any heat. "What if I went with you?" I thought about that for a moment before saying, "I think I could make that happen. If you really wanted to. I'm allowed to get a discount on airfare for friends and family. I can get you on a flight with me...but that's a long rotation. Are you sure you want to do that? You have that huge project going on at work right now." "That's the benefit of being the big boss," he pointed out. "I'll see what I can get set up," I relayed as I ended the call. For weeks we'd been playing this back-and-forth game, and my heart was all there for it. I loved that he was taking it slow with me. I loved even more that he didn't seem impatient or upset in any way. I also liked that he was upfront about where we both knew this was going. Just last night we'd had a talk about what he wanted-and that was me. He said he'd take me any way he could get me, and we'd move at whatever pace that I was comfortable with. Which meant that it was time to tell him about Patty. Speaking of Patty, I reached out and sent out a quick text to check in with him. Me: Hey, Patty. You doing okay? Haven't heard from you in a week. Patty: Doing okay. Work. Kids. Uprisings. The usual. How is the new guy? I smiled. Patty knew my 'new guy' wasn't necessarily a 'new guy.' He also knew that I needed a fresh start sometimes, and that was his way of checking in with me and feeling my pulse. Me: Doing really well. I'm trying to get him on the flight with me tonight. Speaking of Patty, not only was he a good friend, but he was also a pilot. He was the one who got me the job with the airlines that I worked for. Patty: So I'll get to meet him tonight? Me: Yep. If I can get him on the flight and it's not overbooked. Patty: Leave it to me. I smiled. Me: See you tonight. I knew he would. Despite what it should be, pilots had way more pull and clout than flight attendants. They got to get the first picks on extra seats, whereas the rest of us low-life flight personnel got what was left-if there was any. I smiled as I picked up my phone and dialed the number that was saved in my contacts as 'psychiatrist.' Since I was going to bare all tonight, I needed to do more. I needed to get back to fixing myself, and the first step was following up with the new psychiatrist's office to find out why they weren't calling me back to schedule an appointment. "Dr. Casta's office," a pleasant female voice answered. "How may I help you?" I tucked a stray curl behind my ear as I started talking, explaining what I needed. "Oh," she said softly, her voice no longer as confident and welcoming. "Give me one moment and I'll be right back." I gave her the moment, tucking the phone between my ear and shoulder, as I began to straighten my kitchen up. I was terrible at the best of times, but lately, I'd been even worse. My usual clutter had turned to outright mess, and I had no one to blame for it but myself. Well, I guessed I could technically blame Audric for it slightly. We'd spent so much time together lately that I'd barely been at home. I was either at work or at his-and Gunner's-place. It'd been two solid, blissful weeks of getting to know the man Audric was now, and I was finding I liked that man a lot. Too much. Which was why I would have to talk to him about Patty tonight. He needed to know, and if he wasn't okay with Patty, now would be the time to cut things off between us. We could still be friends, but we couldn't be heading in the same direction that we were now barreling toward. "Ma'am?" I blinked, realizing that I'd been sweeping crumbs off the same counter for a solid two minutes now. "Yes, I'm here," I said quickly. "Oh, good. Thought I lost you," she sounded nervous. "I'm here. Just daydreaming," I admitted. She drew a deep breath, and I had the sudden, blinding understanding that I wasn't going to like what she was about to say. "Your current psychiatrist is refusing to transfer your care to our offices, and since we value him and his practice, we're going to have to decline your request to move to our office," the woman said on the end of the line. "I don't have a current anything," I said. "I saw that man one time. He shouldn't be able to dictate if I get seen by another doctor or not." "In this instance, he can," she admitted. "We value his opinion, and the doctor won't take you on." This was now the fourth doctor I'd contacted in the DFW area, and it was looking like I'd have to travel outside of the metroplex to find anyone. All because of that one doctor. Unless I did it online, which I was reluctant to do. "Thank you for your time," I said before hanging up. Frustration poured from me. And the one thing I could think of was Audric would know what to do. So that was what I did. I got my car keys, ignored the way my hair was a freakin' rat's nest, turned a blind eye to what I was wearing, and headed to the job site that Audric had said that he would be on for the next several weeks. I was halfway there when I really thought about what I was wearing, but I blocked it out and stopped to grab some lunch since it was almost eleven. With Audric's favorite sandwich-that I remembered from the tenth grade-in hand, and a much smaller version in the other, I marched right into the job site. I did, however, stop to grab a spare hard hat that was sitting on a table that had a sign in front of it that read: hardhat area. Use it or I'm going to fucking kill you. I had to giggle as I placed the well-used hard hat on my head-choosing the cleanest among the extras-and headed inside. I wondered who wrote that. For some reason, the note was saying "female." Only a woman could talk to a man like that and get away with it. I kept my eyes downcast as I wound my way up plywood stairs until I found where Audric was working. He was on the phone, nose pinched between two fingers, head facing toward the floor as he spoke low and quiet. "I realize that, but it's the only way." There was a brief pause and then, "Just take the divorce, Dad. I know that you feel some noble 'I owe it to her' bullshit thing, but you don't. You don't owe it to her, because she chose to leave us first. Just because she didn't succeed in her attempt doesn't mean that she didn't make the decision. Don't contest the divorce." There was a long pause and then, "I love you, Dad. But it's time for you to be happy. Mom hasn't made you happy in so long that I don't even remember what it's like to see you smiling." That was a punch to the gut. Now that he mentioned it, when I saw Carter around, he'd never once had a smile on his face. Which was crazy, because I remembered as kids he had a great smile. Laney and I had always called Audric's dad the 'hot dad' among our classmates. He'd been the star of our teenage fantasies, and it was startling to think about how different he was now. It was like all the characteristics that had given him color and life had bled out of him over the years, and he was slowly wasting away while in plain sight. I agreed with Audric, though. At some point, you had to think about your own mental health instead of your significant other's. Especially when you'd already planned to leave that significant other. No amount of hoping and praying could ever bring back who she once was to him. Moving my spoils to one hand, I headed in Audric's direction, walking right up to him and poking him in between his shoulder blades. He jumped a foot, turning around to glare at me. That glare slid right off his face when he saw who it was doing the poking. "Dad, I have to go. Sign the papers," he ordered. "Yeah, love you, too. Bye." He slid the phone away from his ear and said, "My mom filed for divorce." "I guessed that," I said softly. He blew out a relieved breath. "It's like you knew you being here would help me. I was about to lose my shit on my dad." I smiled and offered him the sandwich I'd gotten him. "Maybe eating will make you feel better." His eyes warmed, and I studied them for a long moment. Mesmerizing green. I'd always thought that his light-green eyes were captivating when he was younger, but now in his adult face, they felt hypnotizing. I'd never seen eyes the color of his. I hoped that his kids had his eyes. They'd be to-die-for. Set in his tanned face, with his crooked nose, and strong, square jaw covered in a light beard...he was everything that I'd always thought he'd be. "Is it pastrami on rye?" he asked hopefully. "Extra, extra mayo?" I nodded. "Yep, even though the amount they put on there probably added fifteen hundred calories." He shrugged. "I burn it off when it's hot like this." He gestured toward a couple of buckets, and I happily took a seat and opened my sandwich on my knees. When I had it in place, I bent over awkwardly and pulled out the chips from my purse. I handed him the abominations-salt and vinegar-and kept the Nacho Cheese Doritos for myself. We ate in companionable silence until he ruined it by asking, "Not that I'm not happy that you're here, Cree, but why are you here?" I grimaced as I swallowed a chip. The pointy edge scratched my throat going all the way down. Fitting. Because what I had to tell him would probably piss him off, and that scared me slightly. "Well," I took another bite of my sandwich. "I have some issues today, and I wanted to run them by you to see if maybe I'm just fucking crazy or not." His stared at me while he took a massive bite of his sandwich, mayo dropping down his fingers and his chin, plopping onto the paper his sandwich had once been wrapped in. The sound of nail guns, music, and shouting filled the air around us for a few long seconds before I finally decided...fuck it. I told him everything, ending with, "And now no one will see me because he won't relinquish me, or whatever that means." He put his sandwich down with a deceptive calm, and at first I thought maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I was making something out of nothing. But then he asked, "Please tell me again, from the very beginning." So I did, leaving nothing out. Not the way I felt in that meeting. Not the utter relief I felt when he'd interrupted said meeting. Not the way I felt when I heard that he was stopping me from seeing other therapists in the area. I gave it all to him, ending with, "Am I overreacting?" "No," he said softly, food completely abandoned. "You are not overreacting. Something doesn't sit right about this. Do you mind if I have Apollo look into it?" I scrunched up my nose. "Actually, no. I don't mind you bringing him into it, but I don't really feel that it's necessary to have him in this just yet. I think I need to confront the doctor himself and find out why he is acting like this. Then, if we don't like what he has to say, then we can give him to Apollo." "We?" He grinned. "We." I smiled. And wouldn't you know it, when we arrived just before closing time for the office of Dr. Russel Stoker, he was there to greet us as if he was waiting for us to arrive. I shivered on the back of Audric's bike, not liking the way he was looking at us as we pulled up. "What a fuckin' weirdo," Audric said as he patted my thigh and got off the bike. "Agreed," I muttered as I got off after him. It was three hours after our lunch, and an hour before we were supposed to be at his club for dinner, and we were making a quick stop to give Dr. Stoker his notice to cease and desist, and I should've been calm. Watching him watch us walk up felt like my stomach was sinking down between my toes. "Come on," he said as he took my hand. I squeezed it for dear life, relishing the fact that he now felt like a lifeline for me whenever other men still gave me palpitations. I walked two steps behind him as he led me to where Dr. Stoker was standing. "Ahh, I was wondering when I'd see you again, Ms. Williams." Dr. Stoker smiled. It sent disgusted vibes racing through my veins. "She's here because she wants you to stop harassing her when she tries to switch to a new doctor," Audric said. "She's telling you this once, and once only." "And what is that?" Dr. Stoker asked. "That you will stop whatever it is you are doing that is keeping her from finding another psychiatrist," he said. "That's not fair to her, and you know it. Next time, we'll be filing a complaint with the medical board for your behavior." Dr. Stoker didn't look worried. "I don't know what you're talking about, but I'll be sure to look into it." He lied so smoothly I almost wondered if I'd imagined all the phone calls that had denied me treatment this week. But then Audric snorted, and I was reminded he had a good bullshit meter and always had. "One and only warning, doc," he said. "Have a nice night." Audric tugged my hand, and we walked back to his bike, and I felt the doctor's gaze on me the entire way. He was handing me my helmet when I asked, "Do you think he gets off on women who are victims?" His eyes flashed to mine. "For his sake, I hope not. Because if he does, I'll be handling him appropriately." The resolute certainty in his voice had me breathing out a sigh of relief. "He gives me the creeps, Audric." Audric cupped my head for a long second, gaze taking me in, before he said, "You can move in tomorrow and I'll be your knight in shining armor if you let me." "You live with your kind of little girl, and another man. I can't move in." I smiled. His grin was slow when he said, "Says who?" Dinner with his friends was amazing. He sat me in the corner of the tables where there was a wall behind and beside me, leaving a table in between me and the closest man. That closest man being Cakes, who was talking about his cakes and when he was cooking his next one for the group. Apparently they were a big deal, and they didn't happen very often. That was also how he'd gotten his road name, and though I wasn't a cake person, I found that I would love to taste his cake. Cakes's newfound daughter, Aella, was sitting next to him giving him shit about his lack of social life. Aella's husband, Chevy, was beside her, and he was talking with his brother, Cutter, about their next family dinner that was set for next week. I fell into the chaos, realizing that I'd shut myself out of life so completely that I hadn't realized what I was missing until right then. And the man at my side had given that to me. He'd made sure that I felt safe. And I was slowly falling in love with him. An adult love this time that I didn't think that I would ever be able to get out of.