Chapter 6 Don't be mad that I tipped that server a dollar. Do you know that a stripper will show me her butthole for that? -Overheard conversations CREOLE I wasn't just freaking out. I was about to crawl right out of my skin. I'd never thought I'd come into close contact with the man, but here I was, staring at him while he sat next to the man that knew every trick to get under my skin. Jesus. In that moment, I hated Laney for what she'd done. Out of all the people she could've slept with and gotten pregnant with, why did she have to choose a man from her husband's own club? She'd done it on purpose, too. She'd told me that she was going to get pregnant. She just hadn't told me who she was getting pregnant by. It was about three months into her pregnancy that Laney had admitted she'd slept with one of Audric's club brothers when he was drunk off his ass. I'd asked her what the hell she'd been thinking, and she said that she was sex-starved and hadn't been thinking. I wasn't sure that was the truth. I knew that Laney had her own dalliances. She was discreet about it, but she couldn't get over the fact that her "husband" didn't want her the way she wanted him. That was another secret I'd be taking to my grave. I would never tell Audric that Laney had loved him so deeply that she'd thought up a hundred and one different ways to get him where she wanted him. Eventually, she'd found a way. I hadn't been super happy with her taking advantage of Audric in a vulnerable position, but in the end, it was always Audric's decision. He'd been a grown-ass adult, who was I to tell him that he had made a poor choice? She'd have paid for his debts even if he hadn't agreed to marry her. Then again, I would've done the same to help pay off the debts of my son's and mother's illnesses if it meant my dad could live his half-life debt-free. But this? What the hell was I supposed to do with this? I felt terrible. I'd felt terrible since the moment I learned about it and Laney made me keep the secret. Then again, when I'd learned about it, I wasn't doing so hot. I had more things to worry about than Laney's affair with one of Audric's best friends. And they were best friends. The way they were cutting up and laughing for the last hour and a half was damn near heart-wrenching. These two men were close. Really close. How could Laney do that? She could've chosen any man in the world, and she chose that one? If they ever found out, how would they stay friends? Honestly, I didn't think they could. Hence why I'd stayed silent for so long. My guilt was keeping me feeling like shit about not telling them, but my common sense knew that this wasn't going to work once they did know. And I had no doubt that he'd eventually figure it out. How could they not? Every time I saw Lottie, I wondered if there were similarities between Cakes and Lottie. I hadn't actually met Cakes, but I thought I'd noticed him at the veteran's center in downtown Dallas. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I mean, this man named Cakes had a kid that he wasn't getting to raise. He was missing all the great moments. I felt lower than a roach as we took off and then I started food service. My fellow flight attendants offered to help, but like always, I refused. I liked them all right, but it didn't matter if they were just trying to be nice, my brain wasn't wired to accept help when it got them close to me. I started with Audric first so I could get him out of the way. Surprising me, he ordered water and whatever was left over for the meal service. His friend Cakes, however, ordered whatever meal was best, and a beer. Almost all of the bikers in first class did. It was weird. Well, except the men who were married asked that their meals be taken back to their wives. They even gave us seat numbers that were directly behind first class. After all meals were delivered-and the women had to be broken up because they were having so much fun together drinking and carrying on-I started trash pickup for the front again. Audric had his tray ready for me, and he waited until I was leaning over Cakes to say, "It was good, Creole." I nodded. It wasn't like I made the meals. The facility I worked for had a thousand chefs who prepared these meals on a daily basis. I got whatever was left-if there was anything left-and usually it was okay. Some days those meals were the only things I survived on. I was a mess. Probably always would be after the life I'd lived. Even worse, I was a shit friend because I wanted nothing to do with my best friend's child, and that was unforgivable. But I just couldn't. I couldn't do it. That... "You should thank Blue Airlines for that," I murmured as I pulled away, suddenly remembering I was all but hanging over Cakes to get to Audric's plate. And that surprised the hell out of me, because generally that wasn't something I would forget. I was very much aware of where my body was at all times. I made damn sure that I was never close to a man that I didn't know. Stomach now in knots due to the closeness I'd inadvertently put myself in, I pulled away quickly, dropping the fork from Audric's tray into Cakes' lap. "Sorry," I said, not going to reach for it. Cakes picked it up and handed it to me. "Glad he at least licked it clean." Yeah... I walked away with the tray and put it into the storage case. Thirty minutes later, everything was picked up, including the dessert plates, and I had to steel myself to do what I had to do next. Blockade myself in to get the pilots fed. It was the worst part of my day. Rolling the food cart into the space that would block the passengers from using the bathroom, I got on the phone and called to the pilots. The one that answered, the co-pilot, I actually liked. His name was Danial Kim. He was a Chinese immigrant and talked all about his life and his hopes and goals, making him easy to like. His captain, though? Well, Kory Banks was an utter dickbag. I couldn't stand him, and he couldn't read the damn room. He always tried to push my boundaries, and every time I had to go on a flight with him, I felt like throwing up the entire time. Today, likely, would be no different. Drawing in three calming breaths, I hung up the phone and waited for it to open. I knew it wouldn't be Danial coming out, and I was proved right a few seconds later. "Well, hello there, princess," Kory drawled. I had to suppress the urge to vomit. This was exactly the situation I never wanted to be in, yet I'd willingly put myself into it. "Please don't call me that," I said quietly. "Oh, sorry. You don't like being called princess. I forgot," he lied. I gritted my teeth and stepped out of the way, allowing Kory to get his own food. "Oh, lasagna. My favorite," he cooed, batting his eyes at me. "Did you save me the best one?" I barely contained the urge to curl my lip at him. "Actually, you can thank the big biker in the front row staring at you right now." Thank god for Audric's attention, because he was the only thing making my skin feel like it wasn't about to start crawling. I wasn't sure how I knew he was staring, but I could somehow feel it in my bones. Then again, my "Audric Meter" had always been fully functioning. "Who's he?" He sounded jealous. I wasn't sure why. Probably, I had a bit of a brain aneurysm, but the words came out of my mouth and even I couldn't believe them as they spilled forth. "That's my boyfriend," I lied, not believing the words that were slipping from my lips. "His name is Audric." The man that I'd knowingly and openly hated for the last how many ever years being my boyfriend? That was almost laughable. Yet, somehow, I knew that I could make this work. I knew I could. Kory turned, his gaze going into the rows of first class, and I saw the moment he caught Audric's eyes. His shoulders stiffened and he said, "The one with the death glare and the look that he'll kill me with just a thought?" "That's the one." I forced myself to laugh. "Bring him here. I'd like to meet him," he ordered. Here goes nothing... "Audi." I blinked, hoping the SOS I was giving with my eyelids by blinking my eyes would make him react normally. "Could you come here for a second?" His eyes took me in for a few long moments then he got up and walked to the cart that was dividing him from us after Cakes got up and moved out of his way. "Haven't heard that nickname in a while." No, he hadn't. I hadn't used it since the day he'd walked in and walked right back out of the worst night of my life. "Audi, I'd like you to meet Kory," I said, purposefully not using his 'captain' title. "Oh." Audric held out his hand. "Nice to meet you." Kory took Audric's hand, and I saw the two men size each other up. "So you're her boyfriend, eh?" Kory asked, sounding like he was in on some kind of joke. "How'd you crack the frost queen?" I winced. I knew what I was known as. It didn't make the name any better, though. "She's not a frost queen with me," Audric replied. "And never has been." That was sort of true. I'd always been kind of fiery with him. Antagonistic. Bitchy. Never frosty, though. The man deserved my ire, not my cold shoulder. "Ahh, like that is it?" he asked. "How long have you known Creole?" Audric's eyes flicked to mine before he said, "Since we were fifteen." "Ahh, so you knew her son!" And everything inside of me died all over again. My son. My beautiful, amazing Damon. God, the pain would never abate, would it? I'd always feel this gaping, sickening, sinking feeling inside of me that felt like a bottomless pit. "I met her son, yes," Audric said. "He was a beautiful boy, and the world is less bright without him in it." My heart broke in two. He so was. And it made me feel remotely better that Audric felt the same way. "You weren't the father, were you?" he asked. "We've been asking her who her baby daddy was for a while, and she never answers. Just gets all icy and tells us to mind our own business." "It's likely that she has a hard time bringing Damon up because it's still a raw wound that will never heal. It'd be best for you not to mention it, if you ask me," Audric ordered. And it was an order. It wasn't a threat, but it was damn close. "I guess that makes sense," Kory said insensitively. "She always gets in the worst mood after I ask." Silence. Utter silence. I was sure that Audric was just as appalled as I was. Kory was Gen Z. He hardly worked, then threw a fit when they threatened to fire him. He showed up late, and we were constantly trying to figure out if he planned to come, or if he was interested in taking a vacation that he felt like not telling anyone about. When he wasn't acting like he was a dumbass with his job, he was acting like a jerk face when it came to me and almost all of the "hot" flight attendants. Luckily, there were quite a few on the shift with me. Unluckily, I was the lead flight attendant who had to deal with him the most. "I can't imagine why," Audric drawled, his eyes flicking into the cockpit. "You need me for anything in particular, Little Monster, or do you mind if I sit down? Getting airsick here." My brows rose, both at him calling me my old nickname that I hadn't heard in years, and also because of him saying he got airsick. I'd never known. Then again, at this point in our lives, I wasn't sure we even knew each other anymore. "Nope," Kory said. "You can sit, man. Just wanted to meet the man who knew how to thaw dry ice." I gritted my teeth. Audric gave Kory one long, penetrating look then said, "She doesn't need thawing with me." I flushed, trying to keep my mind from going to anything too scary. I couldn't have a panic attack in flight. That would be no good, and everyone would know that I barely hung on throughout most days. Kory waved him off and grabbed his tray, heading back into the cockpit. Danial came out next, grabbed his food, read my mood, and headed right back into the cockpit. I liked Danial. He was always very considerate and read the room quite well. Nothing like Kory. The moment the door closed, I backed into the corner of the galley and dropped my head to my chest. I took several long, deep breaths before bringing my head up and catching Audric's gaze across the space. He could barely see me, but he saw enough. Though, it wasn't like I was trying to hide anything from him. He probably knew better than most about my issues, even if he didn't know what caused them. I looked away, dropping his gaze, and went back to work. It was on hour five that he came up to go to the bathroom. I was sitting on the galley seat, eyes on my book, when he dropped into the seat beside me. My body didn't always do the freakout thing when he sat down like it would've with anyone else, and I was sure that was because he was one of the longest standing people I knew. Only five people could do that with me, and three of them were dead now. My dad and Audric were the only ones left. "Can I help you?" I asked stiffly. "Is it him?" he asked. I turned to give him my full attention. "Is who him, what?" That was complete jibberish, but it seemed like he understood because he started to explain. "The man that Laney slept with." He rocked my entire world right off its axis. "Is it Cakes?" I froze, unsure what to say or do, and my breath started to come in fast pants. "I know that she slept with someone from the club," he said. "And I know whoever it was has no fuckin' clue." Guilt and anger started to rise up out of my throat before I could stop it. "Fuck." I let my face fall into my hands. "I didn't know what to say or do. I didn't know how to go about even bringing this up. When I found out, with my mom...I just...I couldn't handle it. I should've said something but..." "Wasn't really your place to," he admitted. "I know that you think that you should've, but in the end, this was Laney. All of this was Laney, and it never should've been anyone else but her explaining." What went unsaid was "now she never could."