Gu Zixuan didn’t know what to say, her eyelashes trembled, she nodded slightly, "Mm." In an instant, He Qimo let out a mocking laugh. Without saying a word, he turned and walked out. After the fight, and carrying her all the way, his somewhat weak body made Gu Zixuan suddenly think of the incident at the hospital last time, uncontrollable emotions welled up from the bottom of her heart. Struggling to sit up, she hastily called out, "Qi Mo." After eight years, it was like being back on campus, where she had affectionately called him many times, but since getting married, she had never called him that anymore. He Qimo paused his steps, looking battered, with a hint of indescribable forbearance and sadness, "Why are you still calling me?" His tall silhouette was both in pain and defiant. It tore at Gu Zixuan’s heart even more. Indeed, why was she still calling him? Even though she and Feng Chengjin had been searching for eight years, and it was true that Feng Chengjin was deceitfully led to all of this, there was an undeniable fact — when she got involved with Feng Chengjin, she was still He Qimo’s girlfriend. And now, they divorced because of Feng Chengjin’s reappearance. Gu Zixuan was too pained to speak. After a pause, He Qimo turned back, with a bitter smile, he said word by word, "Gu Zixuan, I must admit that I have always been somewhat inferior and overly sensitive in front of you, but in all honesty, I’ve treated you well. When you thought I was too sensitive and miserable, it was when I felt unworthy of you. I liked you from the moment you first handed me a bottle of water, but I knew, with your kind of background, I could never match up to you in my lifetime." "I avoided getting closer only because I didn’t want to hold you back, but you still didn’t give up chasing me. When you told me you liked me and asked if I wanted to give it a try, it was the moment when I swore I would give you happiness no matter what it took in this lifetime. For you, I worked hard through school and gave up my major courses, just hoping to work more jobs, so that you could receive a decent gift on Valentine’s Day. For you, I gave up my passion for design, and during my junior year, I resolutely double-majored and pursued a finance degree that I didn’t like at all. In the end, I even gave up the opportunity to be recommended for graduate school to go back to the start a business to ensure that when you graduated, I had the credentials to stand in front of your father and propose to you, make a promise." "But then..." He Qimo choked up, "Your answer to me was that when I returned, my girlfriend had slept with another man..." Gu Zixuan’s eyelashes trembled, tears fell in streams. He Qimo’s smile became more self-deprecating, perhaps for the past eight years, he had always wanted to say these words, but his remaining pride as a man, he just couldn’t say them. Until this moment, he could only speak them word by word now. Yet every word felt like pulling out a knife that had grown into his flesh and blood over the years. The pain made him tremble from his heart to his bones. But he had no one to tell, could only endure silently. Swallow all the hurt and pain and then slowly lick his wounds closed. Sadness welled up as he laughed bitterly, "Gu Zixuan, why? For these eight years, I’ve been continuously asking myself, what exactly makes me inferior to him, what makes me unworthy compared to him? Why could two years of relationship not even compare to someone who only appeared for two weeks? I want so much to tell myself, you didn’t know anything, you were just deceived, it’s because that person is me that this happened, I love you, I can’t give up on you, I’m crazily trying to marry you. But in the end..." He Qimo’s voice turned completely desolate, like the eternal ice and snow of Tianshan, "What shattered my pride the most was that the person you loved was actually him..." Every scene and memory was him. Eight years ago, if He Qimo couldn’t get through to Gu Zixuan on the phone no matter what, he could only buy a ticket back to the United States. The moment he saw Gu Zixuan’s body covered in marks, his eyes felt as if they were being stabbed by a thousand needles, his blood both furious and trembling. Opening Gu Zixuan’s handbag, seeing the whole story, and the man’s name and number left behind. Content originally comes from novｅlfire.net He was so angry he wanted to rush back home and kill Feng Chengjin. Of course, upon hearing Gu Zixuan repeatedly saying she wanted to marry him, asking when he would propose. At that moment, for the first time in his life, he truly felt what it meant to be thrust into the depths of Hell-like devastation and despair. She fell in love with "him," and that "he" was not him... He beat up Song Ximing, his once most respected senior. Vent his rage, breaking ties with his dormitory mates whom he had instructed to take care of his girlfriend before leaving for the United States. That day, he seemed to have learned to smoke and drink for the first time. He smoked for an entire day and night and drank four entire bottles of liquor, but the pitiable thing was, he didn’t even manage to get himself drunk. Standing beside the river at New York Hudson River Park, he even considered, should he just jump down and fulfill their wish. In this love rivalry, what did his awkward position count for? Finally, facing Gu Zixuan’s gradually recovering sight, her words, "Qi Mo, where is the wound on your arm? Let me see." Those words calling his name awakened his senses. He turned his back and harshly scarred his own arm with a knife. Hideous scars, coupled with the bright red blood spilling over the ground. Aside from hiding the truth, not letting Gu Zixuan know she had mistaken someone else. That day, even more so, he wanted to remember the man who had given him all the humiliation, every day, every minute, every second, he had to firmly remember this hatred... This kind of enmity nearly akin to stealing a wife... He Qimo looked at Gu Zixuan in painful, body trembling silence. Gu Zixuan’s tears flooded like rivers from her eyes uncontrollably. For a moment, two people who had been married for eight years, yet never revealed their innermost thoughts, looked at each other silently. Until He Qimo’s voice choked again, trembling, he asked her word by word, "Speak, Gu Zixuan, tell me, where am I lacking? Why did our two-year love lose to your two-week love? Why can he remain an absent shadow, yet you remember him for a full eight years?" Gu Zixuan couldn’t utter a single word. When all the truths were revealed, mingling with the joy of finding Feng Chengjin, she understood the pain and guilt of hurting another man. The tears flowed even more intensely. In the end, she could only choke out, "Qi Mo, I’m sorry." But He Qimo’s expression turned even more desolate. These days, the torment of gastric illness had pushed him time and again to the brink of death. He wished he could just die this way and never see Gu Zixuan again. Forget that she loved someone else, forget this ten years of love marathon’s desolation, forget the eight years that made him feel as embarrassed as if he wasn’t even a man. But he saw her current difficult situation, and he couldn’t bear it. The troubles were still unresolved. If he were to die, wouldn’t his mother, sister, and the women around him pin the hatred on her? From the first moment he liked her, he’d loved tirelessly for ten years. Up to this moment, this second. How could he bear to see her besieged to desperation by those women? Once, he felt the most painful thing in life was that he loved her, yet she loved someone else... And these days, every bit of suffering in those lonely nights taught him like peeling skin. The most painful thing in life is loving her yet never being able to speak it aloud... With a desolate smile, He Qimo swallowed his tears, and with irony, mocked himself: "Sorry... in the end, until this moment, all you have left to say to me is just this one sentence..." Gu Zixuan struggled painfully, trying to sit up straight to get closer to him, hold onto him. "No, it’s not that I have no feelings for you at all. Perhaps... the one I truly love isn’t you, but we’ve long been family, these years..." But He Qimo was too tired to listen. He interrupted, with a desolate smile, "The one you truly love isn’t me, is it?" Gu Zixuan couldn’t speak: "..." With sorrow tugging at her lips, he braced himself against the wall due to the spasms brought on by excessive agitation, causing his stomach pain, and turned to leave. Just as he opened the door, his back turned, he said: "Since it’s not me, why explain so much? It’s unnecessary... rest up. I know you want to see him now, I’ll call him to come and get you..." Then he walked out, "bang," closing the door. The decisive stubbornness tore a deeper wound in Gu Zixuan’s heart. She felt pain as if stabbed by a knife. At this moment, He Qimo’s emotions outweighed hers tenfold... Ten years of relationship. The thing He Qimo cared about most in this life was nothing more than one thing—his self-esteem. This final "I’m sorry." Thoroughly destroyed all of his self-esteem...