Chapter 18 " Mama , can we get the cookies with the rainbow sprinkles ? " Lily skips beside me as we enter the supermarket , her small hand warm in mine . " We'll see , sweetheart . We need to get the important stuff first . " I grab a cart , trying to shake off the lingering tension from yesterday's encounter with Virginia . The way she looked at me , like she was planning something - it still makes my skin crawl . But today is about normal things . Groceries . Milk . Bread for the house since I can't bring myself to eat my own baking at home anymore . Simple , everyday tasks that don't involve confronting ghosts from my past . " Can I push the cart ? " Lily bounces on her toes , already reaching for the handle . " Alright , but be careful . And stay close to me . " She nods solemnly , taking her job as cart - pusher very seriously . We make our way through the produce section , Lily announcing each item she recognizes like she's conducting a tour . " Bananas ! Apples ! Oh , those are the oranges you put in my lunch box ! " Her joy is infectious . For the first time in days , I feel the knot in my chest loosening . This is what matters . Not Virginia's threats , not the past I can't change . Just me and Lily , building our life together one grocery trip at a time . " Mama , I need to use the bathroom ," Lily whispers , tugging on my jacket . I glance around , spotting the restroom sign at the far end of the store . " Okay , but we need to bring the cart- " " I can go by myself ! I'm a big girl now . " She puffs out her chest proudly . " Please ? It's just right there . " I hesitate . The restrooms are visible from here , and there are plenty of people around . She's been asking for more independence lately , and maybe I have been too protective . " Fine , but you go straight there and straight back . Don't talk to anyone , and if anything feels wrong , you scream as loud as you can . Okay ? " " Okay ! " She's already running toward the back of the store , her little legs carrying her quickly through the aisles . I watch until she disappears around the corner , then continue shopping , keeping one eye on the restroom area . Milk , eggs , pasta - normal things for a normal life . The kind of life I never 1/4 < Chapter 18 thought I'd have when I was married to Jasper . ( Blair's POV ) More Rewards > " James , do we really need three boxes of cereal ? " I ask , watching my husband load our cart with enough food to feed a small army . " Virginia's been eating more lately . I think the stress of settling into the family is making her hungry , " he says , though he looks pleased about it . " It's good to see her comfortable enough to ask for what she wants . " I nod , but something twists in my stomach . Four years , and I still feel guilty every time we talk about taking care of Virginia . Not because she doesn't deserve it - she absolutely does . But because somewhere out there , Scarlett is taking care of herself , and we have no idea if she's okay . " Blair ? What's wrong ? " James touches my arm gently . " Nothing . Just thinking . " We turn into the snack aisle when I hear it - a small , scared voice calling out . " Excuse me ? I can't find my mama . " I look down to see a little girl , maybe four years old , with dark hair braided neatly and wearing a pink jacket over a denim skirt . Her bottom lip trembles , but she's trying so hard to be brave . My heart melts instantly . " Oh , sweetheart , are you lost ? " She nods , big brown eyes filling with tears she's fighting not to let fall . " I went to the bathroom , but now I can't remember which way I came from . " James kneels down to her level , his voice gentle . " What's your name , little one ? " " Lily . " She wipes her nose with the back of her hand . " My mama told me to go straight there and straight back , but everything looks different now . " " Well , Lily , we're going to help you find your mama , okay ? " I crouch beside James , immediately charmed by this brave little girl . " The store has a special place where lost children wait for their parents . Would you like us to take you there ? " " Yes , please . " She slips her tiny hand into mine without hesitation , trusting us completely . As we walk toward the customer service desk , something about her tugs at my heart . The way she tilts her head when she listens . How she bites her bottom lip when she's thinking . Even the cadence of her voice - it's all so familiar . 2/4 : < Chapter 18 " Mrs. Blair ? " Lily looks up at me with curious eyes . " Can I ask you something ? " " Of course , sweetheart . And you can just call me Blair . " " Do you have any kids ? " More Rewards > The question hits me like a physical blow . " I ... I had a daughter once . She's all grown up now . " " Where is she ? " James and I exchange a look . How do you explain to a four - year - old that your daughter ran away because you broke her heart ? " She lives far away , " I say finally . " Do you miss her ? " My throat closes up . " Every day. " Lily stops walking and looks up at me with the kind of wisdom that sometimes comes from children who've had to grow up too fast . " Maybe she misses you too . " We pass the candy aisle , and Lily's steps slow . She stares longingly at the colorful packages , but doesn't ask for anything . " Would you like some candy while we wait for your mama ? " I ask . Her face lights up . " Really ? Mama says candy is for special occasions . " " Well , meeting us is pretty special , don't you think ? " She giggles and picks out a small bag of lollipops . As I pay for it , I can't help thinking about Scarlett at this age . She had the same sweet tooth , the same polite way of asking for treats . The same gap - toothed smile . God , I miss her . At the customer service desk , I explain the situation to the clerk , who immediately makes an announcement over the intercom about a lost child . Lily sits on a small bench , swinging her legs and sharing her lollipops with us . " Here , Grandpa , try the red one . It tastes like strawberries . " She hands him a lollipop with sticky fingers . " Grandpa ? " He looks startled . " You remind me of the grandpas in my storybooks . Nice and safe . " She turns to me . " And 3/4 < Chapter 18 you're like the grandmas who give hugs and make everything better . " More Rewards > My eyes fill with tears . This sweet , trusting child is calling us grandparents , and all I can think about is how we'll never hear our own granddaughter call us that . If Scarlett even had the baby . " Thank you for helping me ," Lily says seriously . " Mama says always thank people who are kind to you . " She stands up on the bench and gives James a kiss on his cheek , then turns and does the same to me . Her little arms wrap around my neck , and she smells like strawberry shampoo and innocence . " I hope you find your daughter , " she whispers in my ear . " And I hope she comes home soon . " I have to bite my lip to keep from sobbing right there in the middle of the store . " We should go ," James says gently , his own voice thick with emotion . " Her mother will be here soon . " " Bye , Lily . It was wonderful meeting you . " I squeeze her small hand one last time . " Bye , Grandma . Bye , Grandpa . " We make it halfway to the parking lot before I break down completely . The tears come in great , heaving sobs that I can't control . : < Chapter 19