Chapter 5 A few days later, I was tucked into bed when my friend Janelle FaceTimed me. Janelle and I went to school together, but we hadn't crossed paths lately due to our class schedules. I'd just finished telling her about my late-night encounter with Dorian. "You went on a date with him," she informed me. "It wasn't a date. It was an accidental...moment in time." "He ditched his potential hookup to watch a movie with you." "He didn't ditch her. She was grossed out by Tess's asshole." "What?" "Never mind. But Dorian didn't mean to hang out with me. It was sort of a fluke." "But he specifically found you again down in the basement, didn't he?" "Well, yeah." "After, you had a midnight snack together per his suggestion, correct?" "Yes." "Sounds like a freaking date to me." I hated that she was getting me all riled up about this. The last thing I needed was to buy into some delusion that my secret crush on that man could actually go anywhere. Even if he did like me in that way, I needed to not complicate this living situation so I didn't end up out on the street. "Doesn't mean anything, Janelle. Trust me." "I googled him," she announced. "Why did you do that?" "I wanted to see what he looked like. He's totally gorgeous." I felt my face heat, flashes of his fantastic face now all I could see. "Dark and mysterious," she continued. "I love his vibe." That was exactly how I thought of him. Dorian was a whole vibe. If there was a word to describe him, though, it would have to be dangerous. Crushing on a man like him would be like playing with fire and setting myself up for disappointment all at once. "Let's change the subject," I insisted. "Okay, then. How was the naked model you had to sketch?" "Awful. I got a guy. Thought that was what I wanted, but then I was distracted the entire time, trying to make sure I wasn't staring at his dick for too long." She laughed. "But aren't you supposed to stare to get the job done?" "Yes. That's the problem. It didn't seem right in this case. So the drawing didn't come out as well as it could've." "Will you have any more opportunities to get it right?" "He'll be coming back a few more times, much to my chagrin. I'm more comfortable not using models and doing my art from memory." "Well, I'm looking forward to seeing the finished product." "There's not much to see." I yawned. "Anyway, I'd better go to sleep. It's late." "Sweet Dorian dreams..." she teased. Rolling my eyes, I vowed never to talk to her about him again. Roughly fifteen minutes later, I fell asleep to the sounds of the ocean. But in the middle of the night, I jumped awake to another sound, this one far from peaceful: the fire alarm. A rush of adrenaline shot through me. This was the first time the alarm had gone off since I'd lived here. Unfortunately, this very scenario was my biggest fear. As I leaped out of bed and headed out of the room in a panic, I ran smack dab into Dorian's shirtless body in the middle of the hallway. "Sorry." He wrapped his hands around my arms to steady me. "You okay?" "Yeah. Let's get out of here," I said, grabbing his arm and attempting to get him to move faster. "I don't smell smoke," he said as he followed me. "Probably a false alarm." "We can't risk it," I told him, my voice shaky from panic. The cool air hit my face as we made it outside. "Stay right here," Dorian said before turning to head back in. I ran after him. "What, are you crazy? Get back here!" "I'll be right back," he said, darting inside. My heart raced every second he was gone. I let out a sigh of relief when he emerged again, carrying a throw blanket I recognized from the living room. He placed it around my shoulders. "Here." Benjamin emerged from the guest house. "The fire department is on its way." He looked at Dorian and me. "You guys all right?" My teeth chattered. "I think so." "Our alarm system automatically alerts them to come," Dorian explained. He turned to Benjamin. "I think it's a false alarm. I don't smell smoke." I closed the blanket tighter around my body. "Better safe than sorry." A minute later, the sound of sirens began in the distance and after a moment, two fire trucks and an ambulance arrived at the property. Over the next several minutes, they surveyed the house as Dorian, Benjamin, and I waited outside. It took a full half hour before one of the firefighters approached us. "Looks like there might've been a power fluctuation of some kind, which prompted the system to reset and go off. Probably what caused the false alarm." "I'll call someone to fix that tomorrow," Benjamin said. "Thank you for coming out," Dorian told the firefighter. "Of course. That's my job. You should be good to go back inside the house." He nodded once. "You all have a good night." "Thank you, sir," I said. Benjamin spoke to the firefighter a bit more as they walked back toward the truck. The other fireman emerged from the house before climbing into the truck. Dorian and I were left standing alone. The wind from the ocean blew my hair around. "Come on." He placed his hand gently on my back. "Let's go back in." Still a bit frozen in shock, I didn't move. "Everything is fine, Primrose." He repeated, "Let's go inside where it's warm." I nodded, forcing one foot in front of the other. Once inside, we faced each other in the foyer. I walked over to the living room, returning the blanket to the couch. His eyes narrowed. "What's going on? You seem really shaken by something that turned out to be nothing." I didn't want to recall the horrible memory, but I owed Dorian an explanation for my behavior. "When I was younger, the house next door to us burned down," I told him. "Three members of the family passed away, including the girl who'd been my best friend at the time. Whenever there's a fire alarm, I get rattled, I guess." He closed his eyes for a moment. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea." "Thank you," I muttered. "What was her name?" "Lily. The first great tragedy of my life." "Not the last unfortunately, huh?" He exhaled. "No." "Well, that certainly explains your reaction." "Sorry for freaking out. I realize there was nothing to freak out about." "No apologies needed." "Thank you for risking your life to grab me a blanket." I smiled. "You even sleep in crop tops, I see." Dorian gave me a once-over, sending a chill down my back. "What else is there?" I smirked. Our eyes caught for a long moment before I went toward the kitchen. "You're not going back to bed?" he called from behind me. I turned, walking backward. "I'm wired now. I won't sleep. Just gonna make some tea." Stopping, I tilted my head. "Wanna join me?" He chewed his bottom lip for a moment. "I should try to get some shut-eye. I have to leave early in the morning." Disappointed, I turned away from him again. "Okay, then. Goodnight." "'Night." Still feeling on edge as I made tea, I watched as the steam began to rise from the kettle, trying to catch it before the whistle went off. I removed it from the stovetop and poured the hot water into a mug. After moving over to the breakfast nook, I sipped my tea while looking out at the dark ocean. It had been years since I'd been spooked by a fire alarm like that. I thought I'd gotten over it, but trauma was a bitch. Dorian had been super sweet to go inside to get me that blanket. Despite my nerves, wrapping it around myself had felt like a warm hug. About twenty minutes later, I heard footsteps and Dorian appeared, now wearing a black T-shirt over his gray sweatpants. Goose bumps peppered my arms at the sight of him. His hair was tousled, his voice groggy. "Hey." "I thought you were gonna try to sleep." "Turns out I'm pretty wired, too. I guess it's contagious." "Want some tea? I can heat up the water." "Sure." Dorian took a seat at the breakfast nook as I walked over to the stove. I reached for the canister of teas and turned to him. "Darjeeling or Earl Grey?" "Actually, got any whiskey? I've had that kind of week." I couldn't tell whether he was serious. "Sorry, no." "English Breakfast, then?" "Don't have that, either." "I'll take the Earl Grey." "Coming right up." While I prepared his tea and another for myself, I could sense his eyes on me. Especially after tonight's scare, it comforted me to know I was no longer alone in the house at night. Benjamin was always right next door, but after he and Patsy left for the day, it had just been me. I slid a mug across the table to Dorian. "What's been going on that you'd need whiskey at four in the morning? Besides me freaking out over the fire alarm, of course." He sighed. "I guess what's been going on...is the realization that this stay is really not temporary. That I might never be able to go back to my life in Boston. And that my feet may never be big enough to fill my father's shoes." "Maybe you don't need to fill them. No one should be expected to step into someone else's life and be perfect at it. All you can do is your best. Find your own way. And if that's not good enough, then fuck everyone." His mouth curved into a smile. "What?" I asked. "My mother used to say that. Well, a little more eloquently than 'fuck everyone.' She used to say, 'All you can do is your best. And if you've done your best, you should be happy with any outcome.'" He grinned. "I kind of like 'fuck everyone' better though." "Your mother was a wise woman." "Sitting here in this spot reminds me of her. So it's weird that you said that on top of it. It's like she's coming through or something." "Maybe she is, for all we know." He steeped his tea as he looked down. "I used to get up in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep and find her sitting alone here in the kitchen. Instead of telling me to go back to bed, she'd pour me some milk and we'd talk-right here in this same spot where you and I are now. It would calm me down, and I'd fall asleep easily after that." A warm feeling came over me as my eyes began to water. "Mothers are the best." He ran his thumb along the mug. "What happened to your mom?" "Cancer. She was only sick for a short time." He nodded. "My mother too." "Yeah. Benjamin had mentioned that." "Well, she struggled with it for a while. So it wasn't short. But it was cancer." "That must've been so hard for both you and your dad." Dorian looked away. "He loved her, but he didn't know how to be faithful. That's something I never forgave him for." My stomach sank. This was the first I'd heard of Remington being a cheater. I wondered if Christina knew he'd cheated on his first wife. Had he been loyal to my aunt? I took a sip. "Why do men cheat?" "I've been asking myself that question for years. But I think ultimately, it's ego-a feeling that you're somehow entitled to a certain amount of gratification, even if it hurts others." I hesitated. "Have you ever cheated on anyone?" He shook his head. "Can't cheat if you're not in relationships." "You've never had a girlfriend?" "Not since high school. And I didn't cheat back then, no. I was a nerd in those days. Lucky to even have a girlfriend, let alone play the field. Not sure I would've known how to be a player." "I can't picture you as a nerd." "I didn't grow into myself until my late teens." "What about now? Are you a player?" "I'm not interested in monogamy, if that's what you're asking." That was a letdown; although maybe it was the reality check I needed to squelch any remaining delusion that something could happen between him and me. "I'm the opposite, actually," I said. "A serial monogamist. I don't know how to just casually date someone. If I like him, I get attached, and I want him to myself. If I sense that's not what he wants, though, I detach myself for fear of getting hurt." Dorian leaned his elbows on the table. "How many times have you had to do that?" "Pretty much every time I've had a boyfriend, I've broken up with him before he had a chance to do me wrong. At the same time, I don't like to just date casually. So, there you go. Perpetually single." "How do you know when to break up with them?" "It's a feeling that I'm getting in over my head. The need to protect myself kicks in." "Well, you're too young to be tied down anyway. You should enjoy your life a little first." "I don't think it's about age," I said. "If you find the right person, you find the right person, whether you're twenty or sixty. But I agree that I could stand to let loose a bit more. I'm definitely too young to be staying in most nights." His eyes widened. "You never go out?" "Well, I wait tables a few nights a week and meet a lot of guys on the job. But I find I'm also not so good at picking up signals. It would be much easier if someone would just say, 'I'm flirting with you.'" "Wouldn't life be easier if everyone gave clear signals? I'm lying to you. I'm cheating on you. I'm using you. Instead, we're expected to blindly judge people based on instinct, which may or may not be influenced by what we want to see." I nodded. "You're right. So often I want to see the good in people, but I'm consistently disappointed." "So you surround yourself with monkeys instead." He grinned. "You've got my number." I winked. "The monkeys in my head are far superior to humans, yes. Although I was forced to work on a human this week." "That's right!" He pointed at me. "The nude portrait." "Yep." I sighed. "Didn't go well?" "It didn't." "Balls weren't low enough?" I laughed. "The balls were okay. But apparently, I freeze when you show me a penis." He bent his head back in laughter. "I thought you said you were up for that challenge." "Yeah, well, I suppose it's different when you're slapped in the face with it." "Not gonna touch that." "Figuratively, of course." I took a sip of my tea. "Was he...well-endowed at least?" "He wasn't hard. So not sure what his potential would've been." "Potential. That doesn't sound too complimentary." "Take that how you may." Dorian chuckled, and we continued talking until long after he'd finished the last of his tea. He eventually took his mug to the sink and announced, "I have to get going soon. I try to get into the office by six so I can get some work done before I have to deal with people." "You've peopled enough in the middle of the night with me." He smiled. "I didn't mind it." I felt myself blush. "Thanks for the tea," he said. "And the talk." I held up my mug. "Here's to fire alarms." Dorian saluted me. "Until the next strange encounter in the night, Primrose." I'll be looking forward to it. In a romance-themed observation show, several participants undergo a series of interactions and conflicts filled with love, misunderstandings, and power struggles. In the end, one couple rises to over...