Chapter 46 " But Darius , I can't . At least not now . " Her fingers tightened around the swell of her own small bump , as if she could physically hold her wavering courage in place . " I'm scared , Darius . I'm scared you'll find your fated mate . I'm scared of being left alone again . I know you meant it when you said you would not leave me . But what about your fated ? What if she's out there- waiting for you - and she feels abandoned and hurt because you chose me ? I can't do that to another wolf . I know what rejection tastes like . " He listened , every inch of his stance attentive , as if her words were commands he would obey because he loved her . Elaine trusted him with the kind of trust that surprised her - raw and total , but there was a quieter , older memory she couldn't dismiss : the sting of being cast aside by those who claimed to protect her . To ask Darius to deny another the very solace she craved felt like asking him to betray a fate she could not bear to write for someone else . " I trust you , Darius . A hundred percent ," she said , and the admission broke into a whisper . " When you say you'll reject your mate for me , I believe you . But I know myself . I know how painful rejection is . I won't be the cause of that for anyone . " He didn't flinch . Instead , he closed the narrow gap between them and took both her hands in his - big , warm , callused hands that made her feel like the world had a spine again . " Elaine ," he said , quietly fierce , " I've been searching for my mate a long time . If there is one for me , I can't feel her , I can't find her . Sometimes I think the Moon Goddess didn't give me one . I don't want to lose you for a bond I don't even know I have . What I do know - what I'm certain of right now - is you . My feelings for you are real . " He leaned forward until his forehead rested against hers . His breath was steady , steadying . " Tell me what you need . Tell me what you want for you to agree to give us a chance , Elaine . I'll do it . I'll prove to you that what we have is real . Let us be happy . I promise I'll make you happy ," There was a pleading under the alpha that would have dissolved any other resolve . Elaine let herself be warmed by it , allowed a delicate wish to form and then steadied it before it could leap past fear . " I want to give us a chance ," she said at last . " But I don't want to be your Luna . Not yet . Not now . I want us to get to know each other - really know each other . And I want to give you time to think about what this means . About the pup . " A shadow crossed his face - disappointment sharpened the line of his mouth , but he didn't 1/4 < Chapter 46 More Rewards push , not in the brutal way some had when they couldn't accept " no . " Instead , he pulled in a breath that trembled with something like restrained hunger and exhaled it as understanding . " I can't say I'm not disappointed , Elaine . I know what I want . Right now , I want you and the pup more than anything . I'll raise the pup like it's mine . As I said , my wolf and I accept your pup as our own . " She could see the sincerity there , the promise stitched together from resolve and longing . It steadied her . " For the pack , " she cautioned softly , " do not announce anything yet . They can see us together , but no proclamation . Not until I feel ready . " Darius's hand drifted to the tiny curve of her belly , a gentle , protective motion that made the room blur at the edges . He looked at her like she was the only thing in the world that made sense . " Do you have an idea how long you want us to wait before you agree to be my Luna ? " He asked . Elaine thought of the ache of waiting and of the way love - especially their kind of love - could unspool lives . She thought of fated mates , of balls filled with hope and glittering eyes , of the weight of choices made in the name of destiny . " At least for you to attend three mating - season balls , " she said slowly . " Let those be chances for you to meet any unmated she - wolves . If after that - three seasons - there is no one for you , and you still decide to choose me , then I will be your Luna . " Three seasons felt like a distance both sensible and cruel . Darius's face creased . " Three mating - season balls - three years . That's long . Too long . But I understand your reasoning . I agree . " He paused , then added with sudden fierceness , " But I want you to move into my suite . I want you with me always . Both of you . " His hand stroked the gentle arc of her bump , reverence and claim braided together . Elaine smiled before she could stop herself . The image of waking to his voice , his steadiness at night , the small domestic moments - tea shared on the balcony , his shoulder a pillow during storms - felt like a life she wanted despite the fear . " Okay , " she said . The word felt like a small surrender and a large step at once . " Okay . " He laughed then - soft , relieved , a sound that chased away some of the gloom that had clouded the room since she'd arrived at Crescent Moon . He kissed the top of her head , 2/4 < Chapter 46 careful and full of prayer , as if sealing the bargain they had to both just made . More Rewards > " I'll tell my parents ," he said after a moment , " and Roselyn . They'll know you're my chosen . Well , they won't know yet about the Luna thing , but they'll know you mean everything to me . " " Not yet ," Elaine reminded him , though she didn't sound harsh . " Give it time . Let it grow . Let me grow into it . " He nodded , the alpha's impatience quelled under the weight of what she needed . They sat together in companionable silence for a long while - nothing spoken except for small , domestic noises : the clock in the hallway , a distant bark from the training yard , the soft throb of life between her ribs . When at last they rose , Darius offered his arm , and she took it without ceremony . The hallway to his suite felt full of new possibilities : pictures to be chosen , rooms to be divided and shared , a tiny life that would change everything . Elaine imagined nights when she would wake to a child's cry and his hand would be there , a steady island . She imagined nights when he would still go to a mating - season ball because he'd promised her three , and she would hold faith like a shield . They passed the window overlooking the pack grounds . Under the silver smear of moonlight the pack moved like water - figures in practice , couples in conversation - unaware of the quiet agreement that had just been made within the walls above them . Elaine let the pulse of the pack sink into her bones . It was familiar and foreign at once : familiar because it meant belonging , foreign because belonging now came threaded with choices that would ripple beyond her . Darius tightened his hold on her fingers . " We'll take it one day at a time , " he said . " One ball at a time , one season at a time . I won't rush you . But I swear - by my wolf , by the Moon Goddess - I will stand by you . " She looked up into his eyes and , in that gravity , found the courage to make a different kind of promise . " Then stand by me ," she said simply . " Be with me . Don't make any final decisions in the heat of hope . Let us be certain , together . " He agreed without hesitation . And in the quiet that followed , as they crossed the threshold into his suite and the door sighed softly closed behind them , both of them felt the small , enormous turning of a life beginning : fragile , fraught , and yet impossible to resist .