As soon as the teaser video started, a banner unfurled and flower petals fluttered through the air as The Dawn entered the studio. Lately, Seo Hoyun hadn’t been showing his face much in live broadcasts, only appearing sporadically in self-produced content. His already pale skin had looked even more washed out, and whispers had been spreading among fans—was he sick? But the moment the camera caught him, everyone was too busy gasping in awe to worry. “Hello, I’m Hoyun from The Dawn.” For the past few days, his condition had made him visibly sensitive and sharp, but every time his eyes met the camera, Hoyun softened into a smile that crinkled his eyes. [He seriously looks ethereal;;] Noeul eagerly scavenged this rare off-season content. [Sunghyun looks kind of snappy today Hoyun must’ve messed with him again └ Yeah yeah, what else could it be In the teaser, there was some banter about “Hoyun Syndrome” and The Dawn’s growing recognition. Noeul were enjoying the segment—until the next part made them lose it. [Title: omg the Jelly Revolution teaser is fucking hilarious MC reads a fan comment aloud: ‘Thank god Seo Hoyun debuted late. If he’d debuted early, there’d be a million Kim Yeoju internet novel threads about him on Kak** Story.’ Seo Hoyun: (??? doesn’t get it) Huh? What’s that? Why would you say that to an MZ idol lolololololololololol] Kim Yeoju—protagonist of every overdramatic early 2000s internet novel male lead. 【What the staff didn’t yet realize—】 【Was that there was a reason The Dawn was being called the rising “freak squad.”】 【Catch the full chaos in tonight’s video.】 Even just the teaser had Noeul fully locked in. [lolol welp guess I’m watching this over dinner tonight] [But hasn’t The Dawn been kind of calm lately?? Back in the day they were insane Hoyun’s like a quiet little black baby bunny now └└Sorry... I was just moe-ifying him on instinct] Even before the video dropped, everyone was already camped out in the comments section. On screen, The Dawn looked like any other group of five tall, handsome men—until the MC started reading online comments. Then, the madness began to leak out, subtle but unmistakable. “Seriously though, Seo Hoyun, your looks are so perfect for an internet novel male lead! Can you show us what that would be like?” “Oh, if you’d like... I suppose I could give it a try?” If Seo Hoyun was given a prompt, he never passed it up. Even if he had only a vague idea what it was, he listened to the explanation, then rose from his seat. He dragged his chair forward and perched on it lightly. Instantly, a crummy CGI motorcycle was superimposed beneath him. And yet, sitting atop that cheap virtual bike, Seo Hoyun gazed into the distance with melancholy eyes—somehow, the image worked. It was meant to be a joke. 【Why does this man... actually look good doing this?】 Even the captions looked stunned. [What the hell?? What is that bike CG??] [lololololol it’s amazing how well he suits that janky-ass CGI] Everything he said next was ad-libbed. Jung Dajun clasped his hands together with sparkling eyes. “Hyung! Hoyun-hyung! You won that 17-to-1 brain fight and bought that new bike?!” Hoyun lowered his gaze ever so slightly, stroking the seat with dramatic care. [Seo Hoyun, are you out of your mind lolololololololololol] [Hoyun, listen. I stan hardworking idols, but this isn’t what I meant by ‘work hard.’] But it didn’t stop there. Hoyun’s gaze landed directly—inevitably—on Kim Sunghyun. 【Seo Hoyun’s eternal “Kim Yeoju” = Kim Sunghyun】 A mischievous smirk tugged at his lips. Sunghyun trudged forward with the face of a man who had resigned himself to fate. “Oh my god hahaha! Sunghyun-ssi, what are you doing here?!” The MC burst out laughing as he asked, and Sunghyun tilted his head with a puzzled expression. “He keeps calling me ‘baby,’ so... I guess I’m the baby...” “...Wait. That sounds really weird, doesn’t it?” [lololololololololololololol WHAT ㅠㅠㅠ] [He literally just said “baby” and Sunghyun instinctively walked over—I’m losing it] [I’m dying rn—he said “baby” and his head SNAPPED to Sunghyun like it was pre-programmed] The members, the MC, even the staff were struggling to hold back laughter. Sunghyun kept protesting, “I don’t even think of myself as a baby!” and “It’s just that Hoyun keeps calling me that—!” which only made it worse. [Sunghyun, why do you look like a calf being led to slaughter] [lolololol that face is giving me guilt ㅠ lolololol] [The rest of the members are just unfazed. It’s too funny how natural this all is now.] Finally, with a face as red as a tomato, Sunghyun awkwardly positioned himself behind Seo Hoyun like he was about to ride pillion. Hoyun grinned. “Hold on tight. You’ll fall off.” [LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL] The MC and staff burst out laughing again while the rest of the members giggled like they were watching a fire from afar. [Seo Hoyun is the kind of guy who looks at Kim Sunghyun and thinks, ‘Why can’t I just say he’s mine?’ (feat. Lovers in Paris) └└Pop-pop confession from Kang Ichae: Sunghyun used to hate it └└lololol we love a man who doesn’t cry even when he suffers └└I’ll bet my photocard he once cried into a pillow because of Hoyun] As SNS exploded in real-time, the video cut to an insert of Hoyun saying, “My beloved steed,” and moved on to the next segment. “We’ve gotten a tip about Seo Hoyun—apparently he pulls a lot of pranks on the members? People are calling him guilty as charged!” Sunghyun muttered darkly. “I don’t understand what kind of behavior sells anymore.” “Why? Isn’t it kind of... cool when Hoyun does that stuff?” Sung Jiwon immediately jumped in to defend him, and the other members all made faces of horror. ʀᴇᴀᴅ ʟᴀᴛᴇsᴛ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs ᴀᴛ novel※fire.net Then a caption popped up: 【True Madness: Achieved】 [lololol a real one has appeared omg] Hoyun, of course, remained completely unbothered. “Wait. Jiwon, you actually mean that?” “Jiwon-hyung, are you being threatened right now?” 【Suddenly, The Dawn breaks into squabbling again...】 【The Dawn Specialty: If left alone, they bicker every 60 seconds】 The MC took the perfect opening and jumped in. “Okay! Let’s settle this once and for all, shall we?” [What kind of “settle” are we talking about] Suddenly, the screen changed—duru-dung-dung-dung, duru-dung-dung-dung!—the dramatic BGM from that Famous Japanese Game Courtroom Series™ blared as a retro-style 1980s movie-poster typography blasted across the screen. A janky courtroom set passed by in a flash. The MC appeared, dressed in a stiff-looking suit and holding a mic, face dead serious like a news anchor. “I’m Reporter Ma, standing before the Court of The Dawn!” 【Is Seo Hoyun truly a Guilty Man?】 [??? lololol what the hell is happening] [No seriously is this real life right now] The vibe was pure B-grade chaos. Seo Hoyun stood in the defendant’s seat, his CGI motorcycle still loyally trailing behind him. [This is way too legit.] Defendant: Seo Hoyun ♡ Defense Attorney: Sung Jiwon ♡ Prosecutor: Kang Ichae ♡ Witness: Kim Sunghyun ♡ [Just because you slap hearts on it doesn’t mean this isn’t deranged...] [All it did was crank up the madness even more.] As each member’s role appeared onscreen, Kang Ichae strolled in with a sly smile. Carrying a stack of papers in one hand and blowing an over-the-top hand kiss with the other as he made his way to the prosecution bench, a caption appeared below him: 【The best-looking member of The Dawn appears.】 And right beneath it: 【※This caption was secretly requested by Kang Ichae himself.】 [Kang Ichae, you pathetic little gremlin └ lolololol I’m sobbingggg ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ] Judge Jung Dajun, who was supposed to be neutral, let out a cheer. Wearing an obviously rushed, slightly ill-fitting prosecutor costume courtesy of the staff, Ichae took his spot with an air of exaggerated grace. “No need for long-winded preambles or detours.” He slapped the papers onto the desk and declared dramatically: “Honorable Judge. I indict Seo Hoyun as guilty.” “Prosecutor, please explain the charges.” “I charge the defendant, Seo Hoyun, with being an active source of irritation.” Ichae strode forward, holding up a completely blank sheet of paper and handed it to Dajun. “Your Honor, I submit the following evidence: frequently calling members ‘baby’ unprompted, stealing other members’ ice cream on the regular, and ignoring every word we say unless it’s ripe for teasing.” Sung Jiwon sprang to his feet. “Your Honor. According to constitutional /N_o_v_e_l_i_g_h_t/ rights, all citizens are entitled to personal freedoms. Within those freedoms lies the right to remain silent. To accuse someone of a crime just because they didn’t react to others is deeply unfair. I request that the third piece of evidence be struck from the record.” “...Okay. I’m not totally sure what that means, but let’s strike the third one for now.” Dajun stroked his chin and stared seriously at the blank paper. [They’re way too into this, omg lololololololol] The Dawn had never known how to do anything half-heartedly. Kang Ichae pressed his lower lip together, then continued. “Most of all, I believe looking at us with a stone-cold expression when our jokes flop is a heinous act that demoralizes the entire team.” Defense Attorney Sung Jiwon raised his hand. “While yes, the ‘cold stare’ may cause emotional harm among members, it is not grounds for criminal liability. Furthermore, reactions vary by member. For example, the defendant usually gives me some kind of reaction when I make bad jokes.” “Your Honor, as you can see, this is favoritism and tyranny!” Ichae pleaded, visibly aggrieved. Judge Dajun hesitated, unsure—until Ichae twitched his eyebrows, prompting him to nervously mutter: “B-but... Hoyun-hyung does laugh when I talk...” Both Kang Ichae and Kim Sunghyun whipped their heads toward Seo Hoyun with expressions of betrayal. As if waiting for this moment, Hoyun twisted up one corner of his mouth. “Sorry I’m not your laugh slave.” “Yeah... Dajun is kind of funny...” Sunghyun, the primary victim and today’s witness, grudgingly acknowledged the truth—and Hoyun went in for the kill. “Sunghyun, have I ever not taken care of you?” “That’s not something you’d say unless there’s already something wrong with your relationships.” Drama expert Jung Dajun nailed the exact nuance. Hoyun, naturally, ignored him. “I take care of you, practice dancing with you, eat meals with you.” “Let’s be honest. I’m the one taking care of you. You’re the one who insists we drill the basics. And we eat together because if you skip a meal, you cause a scene.” “See? Our leader takes care of me.” Sunghyun glared at him, frowning, while Hoyun leaned back in his chair and added lazily, “You complain, but deep down you like it. That’s why you still stick with me. Even when we’re promoting.” “Everyone’s like that, aren’t they?” Hoyun folded his arms and smirked. “So desperate for attention.” [Okay I take it back. Kang Ichae isn’t the pettiest one. Seo Hoyun just made the hall of fame.] [lololololololololololololololololol] Sunghyun clutched his neck in fury. Despite all the times he’d taught, helped, and suffered through Seo Hoyun’s stoneheadedness, believing it was his responsibility as leader—even reaching into his past-life patience reserves—this bastard remained completely incorrigible. “Your Honor! Look at that treacherous tongue! If we let this go on, he’ll keep creating more victims!” “I don’t think we need to hear any more!” All the members—except for Seo Hoyun and Sung Jiwon—shot to their feet in outrage. The only ones enjoying themselves were the MC and staff, who were practically rolling on the floor laughing. “Seo Hoyun has, with his own words, essentially confessed to the charges! We hereby find him guilty of deliberately inducing irritation!” Judge Jung Dajun banged the gavel three times. Next came the trial of “Is Sung Jiwon secretly intimidating?” Despite multiple testimonies from the others that yes, Sung Jiwon does have a strong personality, Judge Seo Hoyun ruled: “He may be sharp, but he’s also just a soft lil’ rice cake.” “Aha, thank you as always, our righteous and wise Judge Seo.” Then Dajun, looking uncharacteristically serious, asked, “Wait... can the judge also be indicted?” [Dajun... give it up. Hoyun’s bias is insane.] [This is why looks matter...] Everyone started bickering about how unfair that verdict was, but the now-official “marshmallow rice cake” Sung Jiwon just smiled serenely. [How to get Seo Hoyun to spoil you: Step 1: Be born as Sung Jiwon. └ Is this difficulty level: Hell?] [Sung Jiwon’s just vibing at this point, huh...] Other trials followed: “Is Jung Dajun truly a trendsetter?” “Did Kang Ichae sell his tongue to the devil?” And through it all, Kim Sunghyun was the perpetual victim. 【The ever-considerate, selfless Dawnies who always think of each other^^】 Even the most love-blinded Noeul snorted at that line. 【※Caption requested by Sung Jiwon.】 And at long last, The Dawn’s fans realized the origin of the madness. By the end of the shoot, Kim Sunghyun—mercilessly teased and trolled the entire time—was actually sulking. He silently gritted his teeth and wished with every fiber of his being that Seo Hoyun would get dragged onto some other variety show soon and suffer properly.