A chance to start all over again? Who the hell are you trying to fool? “You, fuck, pulling some bullshit prank....” Two years. Two years dragging The Dawn up through hell and failure, and now I’m supposed to throw it all away and start again? From the very bottom? From mangdol? I could do it. It wouldn’t even be hard. But say I bring back Seo Hojin’s memories. Who guarantees they won’t just vanish again? The ridiculousness of it all made the rage boil up from the pit of my stomach. For a moment, I thought about calling Min Jiheon here, shoving this system window into his hands, and ending all of this. [No, no! That’s not what I meant!!! Wait just a second!] The system window spat out words in a panic and floated far back, as if actually terrified. [What I meant is, a partial reset!] The phone I’d been about to raise froze in my hand. The system window crept back toward me, shimmering faintly. [You think I’d be insane enough to reset everything? That’s impossible. Well, not impossible, but it would take an astronomical price.] [You know by now, Seo Hoyun. This place is fabricated, yet at the same time, it’s real. And for anything to happen, a corresponding process must exist.] Quotation marks appeared on either side of the window, as if to stress the next point. [But here, since it borrows from a game format, there’s something else that fills in for that process. You know what that is, right?] Everything I’d done with points flashed through my head. Another round of fanfare exploded. [The harder it is to give something inevitability in reality, the higher the point cost on the item.] So that’s why it hurt every time I borrowed points. So that’s why the system glitched when I tried to veer too far from its intent. It was all an issue of inevitability. [Seo Hojin was an exception. He was planted here to help you adapt more easily. But for that, he had to retain memories he shouldn’t have had, which demanded a massive price.] Only points could patch that warped setup. When I borrowed, my body’s pain filled the gap. Same with failing or ignoring quests. But what couldn’t be covered ended in ERROR—Hojin’s memories erased. [With a partial reset, you can roll back specific parts. Like Seo Hojin’s memories. But even a tiny rollback costs dearly, since it restores them completely. Even with the points I just rewarded you, it won’t be enough—you’ll need a huge amount.] [And no, you can’t borrow again. Lending is off the table. The system barely recovered from last time, and your body wouldn’t survive it anyway.] My body isn’t your damn business. The window bobbed beside me. [So? What do you think?] “...Are you trying to sell me something right now?” I looked back and forth between the point balance and the reset item. The thought that I could really bring back Hojin’s memories made my head spin. Whether I trusted this thing or not was a separate issue. “Why the hell would you go this far for me?” There had to be more behind it. Usually, I wrung what I needed out of it. But this time, it showed me what I needed first. [I’m always on your side, Seo Hoyun.] As if reading my face directly, the system gave a clearer answer. [My role is to see you safely become a first-tier idol, clear the scenario, and return to your world. That’s why I exist.] [So I can’t stand by and watch you collapse . It’ll take time, but this method isn’t bad.] [So? Want to collect points?] At least, until now, the system had never lied to me. I stared hard at the words, trying to read its intent—when suddenly the back of my hand stung. Looking down, I saw dried blood peeling off. The nerves I thought had gone numb were starting to come back. Not the emptiness from before—just exhaustion pressing down. For the first time in days, I felt alive again. All because there was hope I could bring Hojin back. I stood up, meaning to wash the blood off. My reflection in the mirror looked back at me: pale, worn. Falling apart just because my brother lost his memories—pathetic, shameful. There wasn’t a single thing about me I liked, but I couldn’t stop here. “Fuck, as if I have a choice?” When it came to my brother, it was never a choice. It was a given. Even if it was a rotten rope, I had to cling to it. Rubbing at the crusted blood on my hand, I muttered under my breath. “...It has to be him. Nobody else will do.” That was the key to restoring Seo Hojin’s memories. But even with a goal in sight, nothing really changed. The next day, I went back to practice, preparing for the comeback. The members, convinced I was sick, jumped every time I sneezed, and if I so much as sighed, they tried to push me into bed. That could only go on so long. “For fuck’s sake, cut it out already!!” “Ah... that’s the comfort I missed.” “Hyung’s cursing, I really missed it!!” Dajun grinned and clung to me. But there were still two problems I’d shelved: Seo Hojin, and Kang Ichae, who’d seen me at my worst. My phone showed more missed calls from Hojin than I could count on two hands. Dozens of texts too. [Little shit: Pick up the damn phone.] That was three days ago. If the system wasn’t lying, he was still my brother. Memory or no memory, looks or no looks, personality or no personality. That fact wouldn’t change. But the moment when I’d unconsciously pushed his arm away replayed over and over. I must have written and deleted a reply a hundred times before finally sending just one line. Then I got in the van for the company, plugging in my earphones by habit. I stared out the window at nothing until my phone buzzed in my hand. [Little shit: You really text me after all this just to apologize? Pisses me off how good you are at that.] [Little shit: What the hell is wrong with you??] [Little shit: Do you even know how worried I was????] Guess since he thought we were the same age, the kid was getting bolder with me. [Little shit: But you’re not actually sick, right?] I chuckled, picturing him picking his words carefully so I wouldn’t take it too seriously. [Me: Worry about yourself.] [Little shit: Your personality is shit.] A few more texts came in just as the van parked at the company. After chatting with the road manager about what time we’d return to the dorm, I headed for Kang Ichae’s studio. Without hesitation, I opened the closed door. He looked up in shock, headset half-on. “W-what? What are you doing here?” I strode up and planted my hands on the armrests of his chair, boxing him in. I brushed aside the fringe hanging over his forehead and spoke gently. “You’ve done a lot for me again this time. Every time I fall apart, you’re the one cleaning up after me. I’m sorry.” I didn’t know all the details, but I knew enough to suspect he had his own scars. I worried I’d stepped on them. Ichae just stared at me, bewildered. “My Ichae, you’re not hurt anywhere, are you?” I held his face, tilting it this way and that. His smooth, clear skin was a relief—at least he looked healthier than me. I softened my features, curved my eyes, let my lips lift just so. The patented expression that exuded trust. I’d finished my aftercare for the member. Now for the real business. “Ichae, as you know, hyung’s body is a little weak.” His eyes narrowed—this from the guy who’d seen my medical report say I was as healthy as a horse. What scheme is this now, huh? That’s what that look meant. But once you start, you finish. “So sometimes, very rarely, I might get sick.” The system said loans were off the table, but who knew what might happen. I had to make it to first tier, bring back Hojin’s memories, and feed these rabbit-like kids I’d grown too attached to. I couldn’t do that while hiding everything forever. So I decided to be shameless. Especially with Kang Ichae. He was the one who’d always told me to lean on others a little, and he was sharp about people being sick. Besides, he’d witnessed more than enough of my worst states. “If something like that happens again—” I hadn’t even finished the sentence before Kang Ichae’s expression turned incredulous. “—You want me to clean up after you again?” “As expected of our Ichae. So damn clever.” “You’re the only one I can trust.” Ichae shoved me back with a sigh. “...Sometimes I really hate you, hyung.” You do realize that just makes it sound like you actually like me more, right? He was still too young to hide the innocence in him. “Sure, sure. I’m sure you do.” Looking fed up, he unwrapped one of the candies he always carried and popped it into his mouth. “You’re really shameless and irritating. Not just me—every member thinks so. Ah, except Jiwon-hyung.” “What the hell did you do to Jiwon-hyung, anyway?” Honestly, I was a little curious myself what the hell had Jiwon so bewitched, but I let it slide. Ichae frowned and muttered darkly. “I wish you’d get a taste of your own medicine. Maybe if you coughed up blood and broke down, you’d finally get how I feel. People who go around wrecking everything never understand the hearts of little rabbits like us.” Instead of answering, I just shrugged. He glared at me, eyes boring holes in my face. “...The worst part is, even so, I can’t stop worrying about you.” Clicking his tongue, he went to the drawer at the side of the studio and pulled out a small box, handing it to me. “You still look like you’re on the edge. Fans sent these through the company. I checked them myself, just in case. You should read them later.” After leaving Ichae back at work, I carried the little box to the dorm. The other members still hadn’t returned from practice. Before, the noisy chaos had felt unfamiliar. Now, the silence was what felt wrong. While I was at Daepaseong, I’d stopped by the legal team. They’d already filed multiple lawsuits. A lot of Hojin’s pictures had been scrubbed. They promised there’d be no leniency. Everything would be pursued to the end. That much, at least, was a relief. Later I saw I’d even gotten a message from Joo Woosung. [Joo Woosung: This is what I did when my brother’s pictures and info spread.] [Joo Woosung: For reference.] A long list of steps I already knew. I smirked and replied. This stupid, kindhearted pushover. I honestly worried he might co-sign for someone one day. It was a skill in itself to make me worry about him. I shrugged off my coat, hung it on the rack, and sat on the bed with the box. Inside were stacks of fan letters. [...Hoyun, you’re so handsome and beautiful, I can’t believe someone like you exists in this world....] [...How can even your name be Seo Hoyun?!....] [...My little dancing machine Seo Hoyun... the undeniable center... the genius face....] I flipped through them, small smiles tugging at me, until one particularly long letter caught my eye. The heavy pen pressure showed how much the writer had agonized over every word. It started with a casual greeting like the others. Then it rambled—how it was their first time writing a fan letter, how they didn’t know what to say, how their heart pounded because it was the first time they’d ever liked someone this much, and asked me to forgive their clumsiness. [...—I’d never once wished for someone else’s happiness more than my own. But seeing you changed that. This update ıs available on 𝘯𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭•𝓯𝓲𝓻𝓮•𝘯𝘦𝘵 To feel this way about an idol I’ve hardly met, and to have even my sense of self shift because of it. At first I laughed it off like a joke, but now I can’t. My friends tease me constantly. But I’m not embarrassed. Somehow, you’ve become a huge part of me.] The plain, steady words pulled me deeper into the letter. [Whenever I see you, I can feel how fiercely you’ve lived. But I hope you know—people can’t run forever. Life can’t be filled only with love and joy. Sometimes it’s exhausting, sometimes you curse, sometimes it feels impossible. But the next day comes anyway. Sometimes it’s unbearable, sometimes it’s okay, and sometimes—just sometimes—you even look forward to the sunrise.] The timing, the phrasing—it felt like they were tiptoeing around my current state. [I want your life to always be happy, but I know it can’t be. I’m only an outsider. I can’t really know how you feel then, I can only imagine. But wherever you are, whatever you do, I hope it’s always filled with joy. I’ll be here, unchanged, believing in you and cheering you on.] The ending was neat, careful handwriting, all wishes for my happiness. [I hope you laugh at a sudden cool breeze, or at a silly joke. I hope you think, “I’m glad today turned out ,” and that such days continue. Whichever path you walk, may it be lined with green fields and flowers. May it be full of love. From a Noeul who cheers you on from a little distance.] I ran my fingertips across the letter, then went back and read it again slowly. Each line dripped with warmth for me. And I understood why Ichae had saved these and handed them to me. Like he often said—he wanted me to know I wasn’t alone. That there were this many people who worried for me, who liked me. At first, being an idol had only been a means to return to my original world. But now, The Dawn and the Noeul had become precious. They were the ones who comforted me when I was down. Yet I couldn’t # Nоvеlight # promise to return it. Maybe it was trashy of me, but... once the scenario ended, once the quests were cleared, even this fan would forget me. So maybe it was fine. “They’ll find someone better to love.” I carefully stacked the letters and tucked them into the drawer. Moonlight spilled faintly through the window. Just like Ichae had said, I still didn’t feel much better. My brother’s information had spread nationwide. He’d lost his memories. The thought of facing the future alone left me breathless. But I couldn’t just collapse like an idiot. Like the letter said—the next day would come whether I wanted it or not. “...Let’s try finishing this before the year’s out.” Dawn was approaching.