Chapter 10 I bolted back to my penthouse , frantically searching my closet for the perfect outfit . ] Willow once told me she loved how I looked in powder blue suits , so I grabbed my most expensive one - the Tom Ford she'd helped me pick during Fashion Week . She always rolled her eyes when I looked unkempt , so I shaved meticulously , styled my hair , and made myself as immaculate as possible for her . [] Standing before the mirror , I rehearsed apologies like an actor before the biggest audition of his life . [] After cycling through a dozen variations , I decided that words alone weren't enough - I would drop to my knees the moment I saw her . If she could find it in her heart to forgive me , if she would give me another chance , I'd sacrifice anything . Everything . Her parents looked even more shattered than I felt . [ ] Their hair had gone shock - white in mere weeks . Deep lines carved their faces as they gripped each other's hands like survivors in a shipwreck . [ ] " What do I even say to her ? " Mrs. Blake whispered , voice trembling . " Our baby girl , suffering through that horrible disease … how has she been surviving out there all alone ? " She crumbled into tears again . ] I stared straight ahead through the car window , my knuckles white around the custom platinum engagement ring in my pocket . [ ] I'd commissioned it a year ago - platinum with a rare blue diamond that matched her eyes perfectly . [] The car finally came to a stop outside a building I'd never expected to visit . [ ] Valley View Funeral Home . We exchanged horrified glances , cold dread washing through me like liquid nitrogen . ] Mae approached our window , her face a mask of exhausted contempt . " Get out . We need your signatures for the cremation authorization . " " She died the day before your little wedding spectacle . She's been in the hospital morgue since then . If we didn't legally need your signatures to proceed , I wouldn't have bothered dragging your pathetic asses here . " [ ] Mrs. Blake collapsed . My legs turned to water beneath me , but somehow I forced myself forward , one agonizing step at a time . She lay in the open casket , impossibly peaceful , her skin the translucent alabaster of the truly gone . Scalding tears carved paths down my face as I reached for her with trembling fingers . " Willow … baby … please … " The words strangled in my throat . [ ] " I'm so fucking sorry , Willow … just look at me one more time … please God , just one more time … " ]] " We can go to Aspen right now . I've got the jet fueled up . First snow of the season . Remember how you wanted to see it ? Please , just wake up … " [ ] Her skin was marble - cold beneath my touch . No flutter of eyelids . No miracle resurrection . [] Someone physically dragged me away as I howled like a wounded animal , watching helplessly as they sealed her casket and guided it toward the crematorium . [ ] I knew then I would never see her again . [] I went to Aspen alone to see the snow she'd never witness . ] The hotel staff reported a disturbed man sitting at the edge of their highest viewing point for three days straight , sobbing uncontrollably in a frozen designer suit . [ ] Security was called to prevent what they assumed was an imminent suicide . They needn't have bothered . ] 1 had already jumped from a different cliff the day before . They'd pulled me out of a snowbank with severe hypothermia and multiple fractures . [ ] When I regained consciousness , my parents slapped me and called me every variation of " selfish bastard " in their extensive vocabulary . That didn't diminish my determination to follow Willow 1 smashed my hospital room mirror and sliced my wrists with the shards . They saved me again They Chase Blood Over Love Now They Cry at My GRAVE Chapter 10 They transferred me to a psychiatric facility , padded walls and 24 - hour surveillance . So I stockpiled my medication , planning a final overdose . [] During group therapy , I heard another patient say something that froze my blood : souls who take their own lives are trapped in eternal separation from those who die naturally . The thought of being forever cut off from Willow terrified me more than living without her . ] ] From that day on , I chose to endure . I traveled everywhere she'd ever mentioned wanting to visit . At each location , I created elaborate memorial rituals - leaving flowers at sunset , commissioning local artists to paint her portrait , donating to cancer research centers in her name . Her parents visited her grave monthly , keeping her headstone spotlessly clean . ] They wondered aloud why she never visited their dreams . ] I wondered the same thing . Why wouldn't she come to mine ? This question haunted me year after year . Eventually , Willow's parents succumbed to their chronic depression and passed away . Lbecame an old man , hair completely white at fifty , my body bent and broken . ]] I needed my nephew's support just to hobble to her gravestone . [ ] Willow remained forever young in her photo . I felt so wronged . ] " Why won't you ever visit me ? Do you hate me that much ? " Please , just once . Is that too much to ask ? Chose Blood Over Love Now They Cry at My GRAVE