Ghosting Chapter 42 Analise's POV We only worked together for five more minutes before I finally begged off , claiming exhaustion . My head was full of doubts . Did Charlie just get caught up in the moment ? What got him carried away ? It really seemed like he was into me . Much more than the regular flirting he did when he would tease me by winking at me . Who am I kidding ? To me , Charlie was much hotter than Roger and Holden . I managed to hold it together until our photos were done . I tried not to get even more worked up than I already was . I tried to calm myself down as I faced the camera , wrapping my arms around his neck to show off my ring . I tried to ignore the minty smell of his breath as I smiled at the camera , waiting to be excused . Am I feeling like this just because I'm lonely ? Do I want to feel desired so badly that I'm willing to kiss anyone ? I'm disappointed in myself . Technically , I'm his boss . I don't want to be accused of s **** | harassment , but he kissed me . It's obvious who instigated the kiss . Did I respond , yes , but I don't know anyone else who wouldn't have in that moment . I tried to remain calm , but as soon as we were cleared , I took off . Like a pack of dogs were after me . Charlie didn't notice me fleeing at first , but Drew did . He tried to call me back . I knew why ; they were supposed to stay with me at all times . But I'm inside my own company . I'm safe here . Once I locked myself in my office , I texted them both that as soon as Gwen paid them , they were done for the day . I won't be leaving the company today . I was just going to take it easy and rest . Then I texted Gwen the same thing . I just wanted to be alone . I haven't been alone for a while , not since before the auction . I just needed a break . I plugged in my phone to charge and turned the volume down . I cleaned my face and took a shower , making sure not to get my hair wet . My head was starting to really pound , and my mind was all over the place . I needed to relax . I couldn't help but reach down and rub my clit . It was begging for attention and was a great stress reliever . This wasn't the first time I've done this . But it was the first time that I've done it because I was so worked up by a man that I needed the release . Usually , it was because I was just stressed out . I shuddered as my released came easy , too easy , with Charlie's name on my lips . How am I ever going to face him again ? I felt humiliated . Like Gwen had paid him off to do what he did . How could he possibly find me attractive enough to kiss ? Not one , but two men have already deemed me unworthy of them , so how could he be interested ? Just like Tiffany and Gretchen always said that no man will ever want me . He's only known me for two days . How could he possibly be interested in someone like me ? If he was , it's only because he knew that I was a Caldwell . I dried off and turned off the light . It wasn't even five p.m. , but I was exhausted . I lay down on my sofa and allowed my tears to fall . I'm not stupid . What other reason could there be ? I needed to nip this in the bud . It can't go any further . I won't allow myself to even dream about it . What purpose would it serve anyway ? I thought we had a moment , but I know I'm overthinking it . I wish I could say that I had fallen into a dreamless sleep . But nightmares plagued me all night long . Tiffany # 00 MNN 1/4 < Ghosting +15 Points > and Gretchen were laughing at me for falling for it again . Mocking me for even thinking that someone could care for me . My past insecurities came back to me at full blast . Totally destroying my newfound confidence . My tears soaked my pillow , and I was up at four a.m. I had stubbornly tried to sleep , but finally just gave up . I looked terrible . I had dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep . I was pale , likely because my head hurt so badly . I took some pain medication and made out my to - do list . I needed to make some changes . I hated even writing down that I needed to keep Drew and change Charlie out with Jon , but I couldn't face him again . I could feel my face burning now at the thought of it . I needed to have a serious talk with Gwen this morning . I felt my eyes burn with tears at the thought of having to let Charlie go . But right now , I just couldn't afford any scandals . Not until I come clean about who I am . Maybe after the reveal , I'll be able to face him again . That gives me about a week and a half to get over my embarrassment . But I have a feeling it won't be enough . My head hurts too much for this . I would start making the calls as soon as the businesses opened this morning . I called the therapist Rodney referred me to and made an appointment . It's obvious after last night , the bullying they put me through wasn't just going to go away . I also needed to deal with my latest embarrassment , as well as what Roger had put me through . I made the initial appointment for tomorrow . I really didn't want to deal with anyone today . I put my towel from last night at the bottom of my door , so Gwen wouldn't see the light was on and know I was here . I had a life , kind of . Maybe not a great one at the moment , but I've been focusing on my happiness . I then called the security company and advised them that I wasn't going anywhere today , and no one was needed . As soon as they confirmed my request , I decided to officially make the change . " Is there any way that I can add Jon Wolfe to the team ? " I asked . " Charlie had already notified us that you wanted Jon added , " she replied . " Um , I was just going to stay with two , Drew , and Jon , for the time being . I will add Charlie back later , " I quickly replied . I knew I needed to just get it out before I chickened out . I didn't want to replace him ; I already missed him . That means I had no choice but to replace him . " I can't do that , Ms. Wade . It's set in the system . Only one of the owners can change it . Charlie and Drew are set as your team . Is there a problem ? " she asked . I don't want to get him in trouble , but I'm going to be the one in trouble if I don't make sure I guard my heart . I can't be deceived a third time . Haven't I been humiliated enough ? I'm an intelligent woman . I can't keep falling for men who don't care for me or find me attractive . But I can't think of a reason to ditch him . I let out a sigh and said , " There's no problem . I will need an escort at ten tomorrow morning . " " I've got it noted . Have a good day ," she replied before hanging up . How can I possibly have a good day ? I have to face him tomorrow , whether I want to or not . I'm just going to have to keep it strictly professional . I won't let him flirt , and I won't be catching his gaze in the mirror anymore. I will just look out my window and mind my own business . I'm sure after he touched me yesterday , he is no longer interested in me . I already acted like things were fine in front of him for the pictures . I will get past this , just like I've gotten past everything else , one day at a time . 16 D ||| 274 O Ghosting +15 Points ? I spent the day hiding out in my office . I only answered the door for security twice . Once to get brunch , and once to get a small pizza for dinner . My nerves were frayed , but I actually got a lot done today . Two necklaces and a bracelet were created , along with two dresses . I don't know why I was so creative , but things went very smoothly today . I showered and took my medicine before I went to bed . I was praying that the medicine and the lack of sleep . would knock me out , and I wouldn't suffer the nightmares again . I finally checked my phone and ignored the texts from Holden , Charlie , and Drew . I also ignored the texts from Emily and Gwen . I needed more time . If I answered Emily , Gwen would be upset . I didn't want to hear Charlie make excuses for why he decided to kiss me . If I have to . I will call and speak to one of the owners to get my security detail changed . Thankfully , my sleep was much better . I felt better getting dressed as I pulled out a blush pink silk shirt and a pair of ivory pants . I paired the gold belt Emily got me with some nude heels . I looked at my reflection in the mirror . My eyes looked sad , but the rest of my face looked fine . No more dark circles , after some light makeup . I put on some mascara , and this time , I used the nude lipstick . I pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail , passing over the spot where I was injured . I was ready ten minutes early . But I waited until ten to exit the building . They were already there , and Drew got out with a smile . I smiled back , but he noticed it wasn't my regular smile . He opened my door , but didn't ask what was up . That didn't stop Charlie , " You okay ? " he asked . " I'm fine . I just haven't been sleeping well , and still have a headache , " I replied . I gave them the address where we were going , and then stared out my window as we headed there . " Do you want us to stop and get coffee ? " Charlie asked . " No , I'm fine , thanks , " I replied . I didn't glance at him . I didn't want to meet his eyes . I certainly didn't want him to wink at me again . I felt tears pricking my eyes , but I refused to let them fall . I thought of Joyce and how she was going to react when she found out who I was . That helped , but I was now worried about crying in front of my therapist . I ugly . cried , and I'm barely holding it together right now . I'm just glad the foundation will cover my blotchy red face ; well , I hope it will . But I knew I needed to do this . I'm struggling enough already . Charlie parked , but didn't shut the SUV off or unlock the doors like he normally did . I just stared out the window . Nothing could possess me to meet his gaze in the mirror . He finally sighed and said , " Drew . " The next second , the locks disengaged , and Drew threw his door open as Charlie locked the doors back . " Wait ," I called out , but Drew just shut the door and walked to the hood of the vehicle . I kept my eyes on Drew , but calmly said , " Charlie , you can't keep me prisoner . I have an appointment in fifteen minutes . " " Look at me , Ana , Charlie stated . I just shook my head and stared out of the SUV . " Ana , either you look at me , or we'll just stay locked up in here together until you do . " KatVonBeck