Chapter 35 The silence after Yana's departure is unbearable. My skin is still crawling from her words; an acid taste lingers in my mouth. I've faced down hostile family members in hospital waiting rooms; I've seen ugliness in the ER that defies logic-but nothing could have prepared me for that level of pure fucking poison. That's the only word for it. Poison. Eroding everything it touches. In a strange way, it brought me back to the night Kovan and I first struck our deal. When we were sitting under the stars in the planetarium and I asked him why he didn't just kill Ihor. I was horrified that I could even manage to voice the question. Having met Yana, I now think the fact that Kovan hasn't throttled her himself is nothing short of a divine miracle. Against all odds, he might just be the most patient, forgiving man alive. I would've killed her a long time ago. "Uncle Kovan?" Luka's small whimper drifts down from the top of the stairs. "Is she gone?" Of course he was listening. Children always are. At the worst possible times, too. Kovan's entire demeanor shifts. The hard lines of his face soften as he looks up at his nephew. "She's gone, malysh. All clear." "She looked really mad." Luka's bottom lip trembles. "Your mother runs hot sometimes. She'll calm down." "Did she yell at you, Vesper?" Luka asks, like he's personally responsible for his mother's behavior. The question hurts me physically. It makes me want to gather him up and promise him, swear to him, that none of this is his fault. That he deserves better than a mother who uses him as a blunt force weapon against people she resents. "I can handle your mother, Luka," I tell him. "Don't you worry about me." Waylen appears in the doorway, his jaw tight as he studies my face. "You okay, V?" "I'm fine." I crouch down to Luka's eye level. "Look, buddy: Nothing she said upset me, okay? Except when she spoke about you and Uncle Kovan." "It upset you because you care about us?" A tiny, uncertain smile tugs at Luka's mouth. "How could I not?" He launches himself into my arms, hugging me so tight I can barely breathe. "I'm glad you're here, Vesper. Sometimes..." He leans close to whisper in my ear. "Sometimes, I pretend you're my mama instead." I have to bite down on my tongue to keep the tears from welling up. I can't cry. I absolutely cannot cry. He needs me to be the strong one right now. "Hey, chief," Waylen jumps in, clearly recognizing my ugly girl face is about to make an unwelcome appearance, "how about we skip the rest of our lessons today and get ice cream instead?" "Ice cream?" Luka perks up, still clinging to me. "Great idea," Kovan says. "Waylen, choose any car you like from the garage and take Luka. I need to talk to Vesper." Swallowing the sob in my throat, I plaster a smile onto my face and give Luka a nod. "Have an extra big scoop for me, okay?" Kovan reaches for his wallet, but Waylen's eyes flash. "I can buy the kid ice cream." They stare each other down for a beat before Kovan relents and backs off, to my surprise. Waylen takes Luka's hand and they walk out the front door. Then it's just us. Kovan moves to the far side of the room, putting as much distance between us as possible. The change in him is jarring. It's like he's sucking all the light and heat into him and burying it. Outside, the sky darkens with a storm. "You crossed a line," he rumbles. I flinch. Of all the things I expected him to say, this wasn't one of them. "I... I what?" "You shouldn't have gotten involved." "She was screaming at both of us!" "That's how Yana introduces herself. She baited you and you fell for it. Played right into her hands. Rule number one is never, ever do that." Heat floods my cheeks. "I wasn't aware there were rules to this game." "That's exactly my point." His tone is merciless and cold. "You don't understand the dynamics here. There are politics at play that you cannot navigate." I'm hearing him. I'm just not fucking understanding him. "You expected me to stand there while she called you an unfit guardian?" "Yes." "While she hissed and screamed and cursed and jabbed a finger in your face?" "Yes." "While she threatened you? Me? Us? Luka?" "Yes, to all of it, Vesper." I shake my head, chin thrust out stubbornly. "That's not who I am." "I don't give a fuck who you are," he fires back icily, spinning around to face me. "This wasn't part of our agreement." "Then you need to spell out what our agreement actually is," I snap. "Because, silly me, I thought we were on the same team." His jaw ticks. "We're not on the same team, Vesper. In fact, there are no teams at all. There's me, there's Luka, and then there's the people who work for us." He turns toward the window, his profile jagged and cruel and all the more beautiful for how remote it is. "Luka and I are not yours to defend." I swallow back angry, frustrated tears. "That's not why I did it," I croak. "I defended you because I care about you." It's not regret that I'm feeling after I say those words. Maybe it should be. Perhaps I should take it back, pretend I didn't mean it. But I'm so damn tired of pretending. We're too deep to keep playing charades. "That's the problem," he says quietly as he puts his back to me once again. "When you get emotional, you get sloppy. When you're sloppy, people get hurt. Maybe you weren't the right choice for this situation after all." The bottom drops out of my world. I feel that familiar, full-body throb from the day my father told me about his diagnosis. The way everything inside me went rigid, then cold. Like my body was protecting itself from a blow it knew it couldn't survive head-on. It's doing the same thing now. "From now on," Kovan continues, his voice devoid of emotion, "I need you to be part of our lives without getting involved in our lives. Watch your mouth or you risk making things harder for Luka. Do I make myself clear?" I nod because I don't trust my voice. Because if I speak, I'll fall apart completely. "Answer me," he orders. "I need to know you understand." I swallow again. It hurts. "It won't happen again," I croak. "Good." I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly freezing in his massive house. "Will you tell Luka goodnight for me? I think I'll head home now." He doesn't argue. Doesn't apologize. Doesn't take back a single word he's said. "Okay," he says finally. "Goodnight."