Chapter 45 I've been standing on the sidelines for ten minutes, watching Luka stare at Waylen. My brother keeps encouraging him to "give it a try" and "don't be afraid," but Luka hasn't moved an inch closer to the practice mat. As the hour comes to a close, I'm hoping Waylen will just accept the fact that maybe mixed martial arts is not Luka's thing. "Don't you think that's enough for one evening?" I finally ask. Waylen shoots me a frustrated look. "Self-defense is important, V. He needs to learn this stuff. Especially considering the family he belongs to." Luka glances at me with those big gray eyes, looking helpless, and my heart does that protective thing it always does around him. "Luka, come here for a second." He practically sprints over, clearly relieved to escape Waylen's drill sergeant routine. "Listen," I whisper, "do you want this lesson to end?" He nods so fast I'm worried he'll give himself whiplash. "That's what I thought. Here's what we're gonna do. Go for his solar plexus. Right here." I point to the spot between his chest and stomach. "One good hit and he'll be too winded to continue." "But what if I hurt him?" "He's a big boy. He'll survive. And more importantly, we can go get ice cream." That seals the deal. Luka marches back to Waylen with newfound determination. "Okay, kiddo," Waylen says with a clap of his hands, "let's see what you've got. I need one good attempt or else- Oof!" Luka's fist connects perfectly, right where I told him to aim. Waylen staggers backward, doubled over and gasping. "Holy cow!" Luka stares at his own hand in amazement. I can't help myself-I start applauding. Standing ovation for my little warrior. "You did it! You actually did it!" Waylen straightens up, still catching his breath but grinning. "That was good, Luka. Really good. Where'd you learn that?" Luka beams at me. "Vesper taught me! She knows all kinds of secrets about the human body." "I'm a doctor," I explain. "It comes with the territory." "Can you teach me more secrets?" Luka's practically bouncing with excitement. Something about his eagerness reminds me of myself at his age, pestering my father with endless questions about medicine and anatomy. The memory comes on strong. "Actually," I say, pulling out my phone, "I do have an idea. But I need to make a call first." I walk to the far corner of the gym and dial Kovan. My pulse quickens when he answers on the first ring. "Vesper? Everything okay?" The genuine concern in his voice is a balm for my anxiety. "Everything's fine. I was just calling because I want to take Luka to the science museum. The human body exhibit." "Today?" "Right now, actually." "Doesn't he have lessons with Waylen?" "That's why I'm calling. I don't want to overstep." The silence goes on for so long that I start to wonder if he hung up. "Fine," he finally says. "But Pavel goes with you." "I was going to take Waylen⁠-" "It's Pavel or you don't go at all." I frown. "What's your problem?" "Your slashed tires weren't random, Vesper. Someone's targeting you, and I'm not taking chances with Luka involved. You want to go to the museum? You take Pavel. End of discussion." I bite back my first three responses, all of which involve creative suggestions about where he can shove his overprotective attitude. "Fine. Anything else, your majesty?" "I want updates every hour." "Seriously?" "You want to take him or not?" "Dictator." He chuckles, and the sound does things to my insides that I refuse to acknowledge. "Have fun." I hang up and turn back to Luka, forcing a smile. "Good news. We're going to the science museum." Luka actually jumps in the air and pumps his fist. I look at Pavel and Waylen by the water cooler. "You're on bodyguard duty, boys. Let's move." "Pretty cool, right?" I ask as we stand in front of the human skeleton on display in front of us. Luka stares at the ribcage, his small hand tight in mine. "Cool?" He sounds uncertain. "You don't think so?" He shrugs. "I guess. But I still like Goliath better." Of course. How could a human skeleton compete with an eighty-seven-foot blue whale? I kneel down to his level. "I'll definitely give you that; Goliath is pretty amazing. But humans are extraordinary, too." I point to the skeleton. "Did you know our bones are stronger than steel?" His eyes widen. "Really?" "Cross my heart. A thigh bone can support over two thousand pounds." "Whoa." "And human teeth are as strong as a shark's." "No way!" "Also-" I poke his belly gently. "-our stomach acid can dissolve metal." "That's so cool!" "See? We're just as impressive as Goliath. Just in different ways." He nods enthusiastically, his brown hair falling into his eyes. "Did you learn all this in doctor school?" We start walking through the exhibit, and I notice Pavel and Waylen keeping their distance, professional but unobtrusive. "Actually, my daddy taught me these facts when I was your age. He was a doctor, too. He used to take me to work sometimes, and I had this little badge that said, 'Doctor's Little Helper.'" My throat tightens at the memory. I still have that badge somewhere, tucked away in a box I can't bring myself to open. "My dad never took me to work," Luka says quietly. "He said he wanted me to have a real childhood. I never understood what that meant." I touch his shoulder. "I think it means he loved you very much." Luka's face brightens. "I know he did. He didn't take me to work, but we went to the planetarium all the time. We'd sit under the stars and Papa would say things. Sometimes, I understood and sometimes I didn't." "What kind of things?" His expression grows serious. "He said he could see the future in the stars. He told me I'd be big and strong like Uncle Kovan. He said I'd make him proud." My chest aches for this little boy carrying such heavy expectations since the day he was born. "Well, it sounds like he could see the future after all." Luka shakes his head. "I don't think so. I think he was just pretending. I'm not big or strong. I'm nothing like Uncle Kovan." "You're more like your uncle than you realize. And there's plenty of time to grow." His bottom lip trembles. "But I can't fight like Uncle Kovan. And sometimes..." He trails off. "You can tell me anything, Luka." He takes a shaky breath. "Sometimes, I don't want to fight at all." "Then you don't have to fight," I tell him firmly. "If you'd rather read or paint or study the stars, that's exactly what you should do." He looks at me with those too-serious eyes. "Do you miss your papa?" "Every day. When I least expect it." "Me, too." He glances around, then lowers his voice. "But I feel bad." "About what?" "I want to be like Uncle Kovan. Sometimes, it feels like he's my dad instead." The guilt in his voice is unmistakable. I recognize it because I've felt it, too-that strange shame that comes with moving forward after loss. "You don't have to feel bad about that," I reassure him. "Uncle Kovan takes care of you. It's natural to feel that way." "But what if my dad is watching from the stars? What if he feels bad that I think of Uncle Kovan like that?" My heart breaks yet again. Over and over with this kid, I find myself trying to reassemble the pieces of my own hurt, my own love, just to give him an example of what it's like. "I bet you a million, bajillion bucks that he's just happy that someone loves you and takes care of you. When you have a good parent, all they want is for their child to be happy." I stop walking and crouch down to meet his eyes. "Are you happy, Luka?" He considers this seriously. Then he looks at me and nods. "I am when I'm with you and Uncle Kovan and Uncle Pavel and Waylen." I pull him into a hug, breathing in his little-boy scent of shampoo and grape juice. "Then we'll just have to make sure that keeps happening."