Chapter 15 It was worse than she'd thought. Far worse than she ever remembered any meal with Colt's mother being. Usually, she saved her subtle digs for when Colt wasn't around. When he stepped out of the room or was too busy in conversation with someone else to hear. Tonight, the woman either didn't realize her insults weren't so subtle or she didn't care. Indie cleared her throat as she used the tongs to move the meat from the plate to a container. "Dinner was lovely, Sylvia." "I thought you didn't like it, since you barely touched what was on your plate." Yeah, well, stomaching food was tough when someone was telling you that you're playing God for wanting a child. "I wasn't very hungry." "Hm." It was the most disapproving "hm" she'd ever received. Maybe this had been a mistake. She couldn't make a relationship better if only one of them wanted it to be better. "I'm sorry about Gordon." Her words were quiet but true. Despite her dislike for this woman, she was Colt's mother, and from what Colt had told her, she'd suffered protecting her son. "I'm glad you were able to separate from him." Sylvia paused, plate in one hand, tap on. "Colt told you about what happened?" "Bits and pieces." The veins in Sylvia's neck visibly tightened. "So you're really getting back together with my son?" Indie frowned at the question. At the surprise in her voice. Maybe even...disdain. "We're making progress. Is that a problem?" "As a mother, it's my job to protect my son." Sylvia didn't look up as she rinsed the dishes in the sink. "I didn't do such a good job for the first eight years. I should have left Gordon earlier. I should have realized he wasn't going to change and put my son first." "You kicked him out when you could." "I could have done it sooner. But since then, I feel like I'm forever trying to make it up to him. All I can do is trust my gut with what I think is good or bad for him. The mom gut is strong and rarely wrong." A sinking feeling began to churn in Indie's belly at where this conversation was going. She set the tongs on the counter and gave the woman her full attention. "What are you trying to say, Sylvia?" Still, the other woman didn't look at her. "I know my son. I know what he needs. What he deserves. I know what will make him happy." "And you don't think I'll make him happy?" "You were so young when you started dating. I never thought it would last. Then you moved to California when he was stationed there, you got married, and I thought...maybe I was wrong. Maybe you will last, and you'll make him happy." Indie's heart started to beat faster. Colt's mother had only been nice to her at the start because she'd assumed they'd break up? Why did that hurt so much? "Then you started trying for a baby." Sylvia shook her head. "I remember this one time when I visited you both. Colt was trying so hard to make you happy. He only had a few days of leave, and he was giving you everything you wanted. But you still weren't happy. You never smiled. You weren't coping." "We were dealing with infertility. I was lonely. Colt was never home." "Colt was going through the struggle to have a child too! And when he wasn't home with you, he was risking his life for his country. He needed you to be okay so that he could be okay. But instead of doing that, you left him alone in California to come back here." "I needed to be with my family. Clara was sick, and I wasn't doing well out there." "Did you ever consider that maybe he wasn't doing well, either? Did you ever think about trying to be stronger for him?" "It wasn't about strength, Sylvia. I was in pain. I did IVF for years, basically alone. My body hurt. My heart hurt. I was drowning-" "Then you should have learned how to swim!" Pain...it cut through Indie's chest. Because those words spoke to every whisper of insecurity inside her. A part of her always wondered if a stronger person would have been better for Colt. If maybe someone else would've been able to give him a baby. Or let go of the idea of carrying her own child. A stronger woman might not have run home. Sylvia stepped closer. "I don't have a problem with you, Indie. I have a problem with the impact that you've had on my boy's life. You're not right for him. He needs someone who plants their feet when the storm starts, not someone who runs. He needs someone with strength. But you left him, forcing him to choose between the Marines and you. He left his home. His job. Why? Because you couldn't handle the fact that he was a soldier. You couldn't handle the journey to having a child. That's the definition of selfish!" "Enough!" Sylvia jumped at Colt's voice. Neither of them had heard him step inside. Indie could barely move. So much of what his mother had said was true. Not everyone fell into a pit of depression after a few rounds of IVF. Some women had it so much worse than infertility with a husband who had significant work commitments. Sylvia's eyes widened. "Colt, honey, I-" "How dare you speak to my wife like that!" He took a couple steps toward his mother, but suddenly Ben was in front of him. The older man pressed a hand to Colt's chest. "You should both leave. Come back and have this conversation another day, when you've cooled off." Tears pressed at Indie's eyes, but she blinked them back. True. It was all true. Sylvia's words weren't anything that hadn't whispered inside her when the world got quiet. Some days, they replayed over and over again. Weak. Broken. Not for Colt. More words were spoken around her, but they were unclear. A haze of voices and movement. She was too deep in her head. Until Colt slipped an arm around her waist and led her toward the door. But even then, her brain wouldn't stop. All she could think was that every word Sylvia had spoken had already been spoken in her own head. Colt wasn't angry-he was fucking furious. At his mother. Someone he'd rarely been mad at before. He could barely focus on the damn road in front of him. Her words echoed in his head. You're not right for him. His fingers tightened around the wheel. What else had she said before he walked in? Was this the first time such awful words had come out of her mouth? He'd always loved his mother. Since he was eight years old, it had just been the two of them. They'd both been protective of each other. But this? This hadn't come from a place of love. Love was supportive. It was kind. This was some cruel bullshit he couldn't begin to understand. He shot a glance at Indie in his rearview mirror. When he'd stepped out of his mother's house, she'd been pale and quiet, and he'd had no idea what she was thinking. Had she bought into any of the shit his mother had spewed? No. She had to know that she was more than he could ever deserve. She had to. He'd wanted to ask-fuck, he had so many questions. He would ask. He wanted answers. When he pulled into the driveway, he was out first, scanning the house, then the street. Clear. Good. He didn't need another thing to handle tonight. This time yesterday, he'd thought he only had one problem parent. Now he was fighting with both but in very different ways. Indie stepped out of her car, and he placed a hand on the small of her back. Inside, she slipped off her shoes and went straight into the bedroom. He followed her, watching as she tugged her hair out of the elastic band, letting the fall of her long locks drape over her shoulders. "How long?" Her shoulders visibly tensed at his question. "How long what?" "Don't do that, Cricket. Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. How long has she been speaking to you like that?" Indie swallowed before taking off an earring. "She's never been so direct. Usually, it's just backhanded remarks. Subtle digs here and there." Just? There was no just about it. "What has she said?" "It's often about my infertility. Referencing people we know who could get pregnant. Making a point to tell me that theirs was a natural conception. She also makes digs about my looks, comments about me looking tired." Tears shone in Indie's eyes, and it fucking gutted him. "Why didn't you tell me?" She turned to face him, those tears still there as she wrapped her arms around her waist, like she was trying to protect herself from something. "Because she wasn't always like that. And when she started, you and I already had our own problems...and your job was dangerous and important." "You're important." "And because she's your mother. She's your only family." "Not my only family. You're my wife." He took another step forward. "I will always choose you." A tear slipped down her cheek. "Maybe that's the wrong choice." "What the hell are you talking about?" This time when he stepped forward, she stepped back. And everything in him rebelled against that distance between them. "Everything she said was true. You were the one working the dangerous job. You were dealing with so much, yet I fell apart because I couldn't have a baby." "Don't downplay what you went through, Indie. The injections. The hormones. Then the negative tests that put you right back where you started, again and again. It wasn't just your body that suffered from the process. It was so much deeper than that. I saw it. What I was going through was nothing compared to you." "It killed me. But maybe I should have been stronger. I left you in California, and I still couldn't find peace here." He lifted a hand to wipe her tears, but she took two more steps away, her back hitting the wall. "Why do you keep pulling away from me?" It went against every part of him that just wanted to touch her. Draw her in close. "It didn't work the first time." The first time? This was still their first time. They'd never stopped and started again-it was one marriage. "Do you love me?" "It's not that simple." "Do you love me, Cricket?" "You know I do." He closed the space between them and cupped her cheek. "Then it is that simple. I love you too. I love you so much that I would give up everything I know for you, and none of it would feel like a sacrifice." She leaned into his hand, her eyes closing, more tears falling down her cheeks. He leaned in and kissed a tear. "You, Indie Reed, are my wife. You're my entire world. And you are strong. You're the strongest woman I know. And you're mine." Her chest rose and fell. "But-" "No buts. You are all I want. You're all I've ever wanted." Then he dropped his head and kissed her.