Chapter 15- You hear that sound ? That's the sound of my heart breaking . Fairytales . I blame them . +9 Points > They were the reason I started believing in love , Prince charming's and happily ever after's even when my entire life rotated against it . I wanted to be oblivious and all happy and believing but how can you believe in something if it doesn't exist in the first place ? But why me ? Why did I have to be subjected to the same cycle again and again ? What have I done to always be pushed back ? I clenched my fists , trying to block out the hollow pain in my chest that felt as if someone had taken my heart and ripped it in two pieces and then flung it against a wall . I shook my head , what was I expecting ? Sunshine and rainbows and a happy ending ? This was me , there was bound to be heartbreak , after all everything seemed too good to be true and obviously I couldn't be lucky enough to have that , could I ? " Sophia .. " Aerin softly said , looking at me afraid , like I could break . I was breaking alright? On the inside . You hear that sound? That is the sound of my heart breaking . " I'm okay . " I lied . Aerin rolled her eyes . " Right . I believe that . If you're okay then why are you crying ? " I bit my lip , realizing I did have tears running down my cheeks . Damn my tearducts . " Something must've gotten inside my eye . " I whispered hoarsely feeling my throat close with emotion . " Sophia … Don't …. don't bottle it . " And that did it . I burst like a freaking dam and started crying a river . I didn't even notice Aerin's arms around me as I cried for everything . Austin , him being engaged , me thinking that he could love me , me trying to deny that I didn't like him when I did , my bad luck , me not being able to walk , Ryan , him assaulting me , everything that was wrong with my life . Finally when I'd created a large patch of tears and snot of Aerin's expensive Versace dress I finally stopped bawling and I was pretty sure I resembled a raccoon with additional blotched skin and runny nose . In short , I was a hot mess but I couldn't bring myself to care . I didn't understand what had happened . How it had happened and why it was making me feel like someone had stabbed me . Nothing made sense . Just hours ago , I had Austin making me pancakes and kissing me goodbye , now he had a fiancé ? " D..did you know about this ? " Aerin shook her head . " I knew Esme and Austin were close and their families were discussing something but 1/4 14 OOON IL DOM M III O < < Chapter 15. You hear that sound ? That's the sound of my heart breaking . +8 Points > I had no idea it was … this . Austin never mentioned an engagement , maybe that b * tch was lying , don't lose heart Sophia , I'm still betting on you two . " " What's there to bet ? He's getting married . " I sniffed . " There are possibilities . " " None of them include me , I'm sure . I should've known better . " I wiped my ears and turned my chair and went to Austin's room and brought out his bag and told Aerin to help me pack his stuff . Every article was like a dagger to my heart . Nancy came back with Roxy and Tango , and I felt my heart tear a little more as Roxy trotted up to me , nuzzling her small snout in my hand . Another thing I'd have to part with . Night started to set in and I ordered Aerin to go , it was late and I had quite a lot to face . With great reluctance Aerin decided to leave . " You . You take care , okay ? For me , Auphia still sails . " I gave her a small smile , not having any will to dissuade her from shipping me and Austin . She'd understand it was pointless soon enough. After Aerin left , I just wheeled myself back into the living room where I had set all of Austin's stuff to leave . I might be bad luck but I wasn't a home wrecker . Esmeralda was exactly the kind of woman Austin was supposed to marry . Gorgeous , rich , elegant and in his league . I was insignificant in his world . Another sob threatened to escape my throat and I tried very hard to push it back but I couldn't . This was the funny thing about heartbreak . You couldn't see from the outside if you were hurt but it hurt worse than getting run over by a monster truck ten times . Roxy and Tango whimpered and Tango got on his hind legs and placed his paws on my knee as a single tear fell on his snout . " Months later , I'm still where I was before aren't I , champ ? Crying after a guy . " I stroked Tango's fur as a wave of disappointment pushed through me . The doorbell rang and I steeled myself , wiping my tears with the back of my hand . I wheeled myself to the door feeling the heavy weight in my heart grow . My hand rested on the doorknob as tears filled my eyes again . This was the last time I'd welcome him inside again . It was the last time I'd have him enter inside and shower me with care . It probably was the last time I'd be with him . Enough , Sophia . I flung open the door as a treacherous tear slid down my cheek . The smile that was on Austin's face disappeared the minute he saw my tear stained face . " Cupcake ? What..what happened ? Are you okay ? " There it was , that tone filled with care and the genuine concern . That tone that made me feel like I was the most special girl in the world , like I was worth everything , like I was worth his love . 14 11 POM 2/4 < Chapter 15- You hear that sound ? That's the sound of my heart breaking . But the truth was , I was not worth it , I wasn't Esmeralda . +8 Points I broke down , falling apart , because the only thing that was keeping me together wasn't really meant for me . And what hurt more was that I had fallen for that very thing that wasn't mine . I wheeled into the living room , trying hard to keep myself together but I couldn't . Everything hurt too much . I just took Austin's suitcase and gave it to him . " Leave . " The tears kept falling , I had learnt to let it all out with him but now I was regretting it . " Cupcake , what happened ? " He knelt down on one knee to come to eye level with me . " You . You happened . You happened to me when I least expected it and I felt like the luckiest person because you happened to me but I should've known better than to consider myself lucky . You just took everything and made it better for me and thank you for that , but you're not … you're not mine . All the best Austin , I hope you have a good life . " " I don't understand .. " Austin looked torn , like me distancing him was wounding him . " Your fiancé came . I'm sorry I came between you two . " Suddenly as all his features changed with recognition dawning on them . So , it was true . " Cupcake..no , it's not like that . " " Then what is it like , Austin ? Is she not your fiancé ? " Austin looked off - guard . " She..she is but it's not like that . " Now , I was furious as tears brimmed my eyes . " She your fiancé Austin ! Fiance ! How can there be any other way ? " " We have been engaged because that is what our families wanted , I didn't have a say in it . " Austin looked like a wounded puppy , I wanted to console me but I was furious and upset . " It does not change the fact that you are engaged , goddammit ! " I ran my hand though my hair . Austin gripped my shoulders . " She is not the one I want cupcake . You are , can't you see ? " I felt my heart skip a beat as I looked into Austin's eyes which were shining with truth . My chin wobbled as I sobbed . " Hey … don't cry , " He wiped my tears as he caressed the side of my cheek . " You have absolutely bewitched me Sophia Martell right from the moment I heard your voice that night , how can you expect me to let go of you ? Esmeralda and I got engaged to extend family ties and property , I do not love her . I thought I could pull along with their scheme but that was till you came along . You turned my entire life upside down . You , that is who I want . You are who I need . Why don't you see ? " He cupped the side of my face and bought his face forward so that out foreheads were touching . I had dreamed of this day , I had 3/4 ២០០០០៩៧ ២៩ E ZA COM 15 OK +0 Points > < Chapter 15- You hear that sound ? That's the sound of my heart breaking dreamed of the moment when Austin would declare his love for me , but I never imagined this . Not even in my wildest dreams . That is what made it more difficult . " I cant .. I can't be that woman who broke someone's relationship . I'm not that woman..I'm sorry . " I sobbed , as I felt another stab run through my chest . " Cupcake- " I pulled away from him and handed him his bags . " Please leave …. please . " Austin looked at me like I stabbed him . I knew I hurt him and even though it killed me , I knew I had to let him go . He was engaged for Christ sake , what was I ? A home wrecker ? Austin collected his bags silently and tugged on Roxy's leash . Roxy whined lightly as I gave the beagle one last pat . " Goodbye . " I whispered sadly . Austin made his way to the door and turned before he stepped out . " I'll come back for you cupcake , I promise . " Chapter 16- That moment when every depressing song seemed like the definition of my life . " Are you excited , Sophia ? You must be very happy , right ? " Lexie , my sweet heart of a nurse asked as she prepped me up to meet my doctor to get my cast removed finally . I nodded giving her the fake smile that I had been giving the entire world . I was trying to hide everything I felt inside- pain , loss , heart break and coldness . I was stone cold . I pulled through each day with absolutely no will , everything had fallen apart for me . Once again . Letting him go was supposed to make me forget but it only made him haunt me every single second of the day , little memories , words that echoed back to me and twisted my heart a little more . Part of me wanted to run back to him , pull him closer to me and not let him go , a forbidden part of me that wanted to speak up and tell him to come back to me . But of course , that wasn't possible , those were my wildest dreams , reality was worse . Truth was , that he was some other woman's man , he was meant to hold , love and cherish some other woman . Truth was , he wasn't mine . Lexie told me to wait as he went to fetch doctor Sherman . I laid against the bed and sifted through the glossy new magazines on the bedstand , till my eyes fell on the newest one on the pile and I felt my heart sink . Celebrity Chef Austin Hamilton to marry socialite Esmeralda Chambers ! My eyes blurred at the sight of a candid shot of Austin and Esmeralda in a fancy event with smiles on their faces , Esmeralda had her head on Austin's shoulder , her face glowing . My eyes scanned the article and my eyes welled up at the wedding date that was printed in celebratory letters . 11th November 2015 , just a month away . The tears in my eyes didn't allow me to read any further . The sad thing was , there was nothing I could do about it . I shook my head , I needed to get a grip , pining after something that was never mine in the first place was just a lost cause . I needed to face the facts . But the thing about human mind was that it was most attracted to the very thing it tried to push away . As much as I was trying to let everything go , an incorrigible piece of me was still hanging on to him , waiting . I waited for the screen to flash with his name on it . I was waiting for him to call , to reach out to me , as bad as it was . But it was ridiculous considering I was the one who had kicked him out , I was the one who had sent his calls to voicemail , deleted his messages and ghosted him for a month now , what was I expecting ? The door started to creak open and I quickly wiped away my tears , ready to put on my façade and face the world . By evening , my cast had come off , I still needed crutches but I could do major work , thanks to all my physiotherapy sessions . The fact that I had started to walk again was what making me feel a little better about myself . Being crippled wasn't exactly my cup of tea . Trish and Alex came to pick me up right on time . ' Hey love , how are you feeling ? " Alex asked , taking in my homeless person look : I was rocking this style for the past month and I think by now , my friends had accepted it . " Great . " I murmured , laying my head against his shoulder , sighing , feeling drained . Trish arched her eyebrow at my lie but said nothing . Apart from looking like a homeless person , I was turning into a professional white liar , agreed not a very convincing one. " Well , guess what ladies ? I have a surprise ! " Alex grinned ear to ear as he jumped ever so slightly . 0000000N 11 COM ரு Θ 1/4 < Chapter 16- That moment when every depressing song seemed like the definition of my life I raised my eyebrow at Alex's cheery announcement and Trish looked at me with a look that said " I'm wondering if our best friend is on crack " . +8 Points > Alex flicked Trish's head . " Hey , don't give that look . I'm not on crack ," Alex chastised as a small smile made its way to my lips . At least something was permanent in my life . Trish rubbed her head and scowled at him . " It's not my fault , you were the one who turned into a prancy stereotypical gay best friend for a minute there . " Alex flicked her in the head again . " Don't be so judgmental woman . Especially not to your stereotypical gay best friend who managed to get invites for the movie premiere of " Famous In Love " . My jaw dropped . He had to be kidding . H " You're not serious , are you ? " I asked . Famous In Love was this year's most awaited film and was a multi starrer that just added to its charm . Alex flicked out three envelopes out of his coat pocket and waved it under my nose . " I'm dead serious , love . I swear on Coco Chanel and Audrey Hepburn . " Now I knew he was absolutely serious . Trish and I looked at each other , bewildered and let out a girlish squeal . " Oh my gosh ! Oh my gosh ! Oh my gosh ! " We squealed loudly . Alex winced and stuck a finger in his ear and gave us a pained expression . " Now that you've successfully made sure that I would lose my hearing before I'm forty , can we go and get ready ? We have premiere to attend . " ~~~~ " Hey , stop , you're ruining the dress . " Alex chastised me as my hand reached out to settle the corset of my gown . It was a dark navy blue gown with a deep sweetheart neckline , a shimmery corset and long skirt with a daring yet sober cut near the thigh . The slit was to take the attention away from the crutches according to Ale out it only made me feel a little more insecure about myself . We were in the limo , heading to the venue . Blake handed me a bottle of water . " You look frazzled , hon . " I gave him a sheepish smile . " Just my nerves , the usual Blakey . " Blake chuckled as the limo stopped and I peered through the tiny gap of the tinted glass and looked at massive crowd of photographers and interviewers huddled around the celebrities . I felt so small as compared to all the glitz and glamour . A hand enveloped mine , I looked up to see Alex's face and felt my heart twist painfully as I pictured Austin instead of Alex beside me to comfort me . Get it together . Alex helped me get out of the limo and immediately I was blinded by the light of the cameras that were 2/4 22 11 7 COM ரு [ 1 ] O < +3 Points 7 Chapter 16- That moment when every depressing song seemed like the definition of my life . flashing at the speed of light . Alex put an arm around me to steady me as I gripped my crutches , he helped me walk the carpet as interviewers stepped forward to ask questions and click pictures , Alex just smiled and moved forward . As we reached the hall , I turned around and I felt my entire world spin . Austin was getting out of the limo with his stunning fiancé in his arms , looking jaw droppingly beautiful in a wine red gown . She looked like every inch of the glamorous socialite that she was . My mouth dried as Austin's gaze lifted up to meet mine . His eyes widened slightly as his deep chocolate eyes looked right into mine , burning my soul . I tore my gaze away , my heart hammering in my chest . Why me ? Alex noticed the exchange an ushered me inside , noticing the look on my face . The last thing I wanted to do was fall apart in front of Hollywood . The movie was great and under normal circumstances I would've enjoyed myself and walked around with starstruck eyes but right now I could do nothing but feel like I had been sent into an elephant stampede . This was exactly that moment when every depressing song seemed like the definition of my life . " Hey , you okay ? You seem a little pale . " Trish whispered to me as we spooned food onto our plates . I bit my tongue as my eyes discreetly followed Austin to the back of the room . I felt sick , I was trying to be happy for him , I really was but I was failing miserably . " I'll be right back . " I placed my plate back on our table and stood up to go to the washroom . I pushed inside the dimly lit room and fell apart when I noticed I was all alone . I pulled a load of tissues and dabbed them over my eyes , carefully making sure not to ruin my make - up but if you looked close enough you could make out the tell - tale signs of having cried , hopefully no one would notice . I breathed deeply and tried to calm the pounding in my ears . Breathe , Sophia , breathe . After composing myself , I stepped out of the restroom , hoping I looked half as decent . I made my way to the gallery to catch my breath and to take in some fresh air , all the glitz was suffocating me . I gripped the handrail and breathed in deeply and closed my eyes . " Cupcake ? " The familiar husky voice that made my skin tingle spoke . The voice that I had so dearly missed and dreamt of . I bit my cheek to stop myself from breaking down again . Not again . And definitely not in front of him . I turned around and felt my heart ache as I took in his gorgeous face , his warm eyes that now looked like they hadn't gotten enough sleep and his sad mouth . " Austin . " I breathed . " I missed you ." Austin confessed as my heart tore . M 3/4 BOM O < < Chapter 16- That moment when every depressing song seemed like the definition of my life . Why was he making things so difficult ? Why couldn't he just leave ? I didn't say anything but I was pretty sure my eyes were screaming the same thing . I missed you too . +8 Points > Austin took a step closer to me and gripped my chin between his two fingers and looked deep into my eyes as sparks flew inside me at his touch , I felt myself drawing towards him , unable to help myself . " You were crying . " It was not a question but a statement . It was unnerving how easily Austin read me , like I was an open book . I lowered my gaze to the ground . " It doesn't matter . " His eyebrows drew together as he frowned . " It does matter . You matter , alright ? " My eyes flashed as I looked him . " Why ? Why do I matter Austin ? Why can't you just leave and make things easier ? " Austin's face twisted in hurt as he glared at me . " Have things gotten easier , Sophia ? " My mouth opened but no words came out . He called me Sophia , not cupcake . My heart pulled more as a single tear escaped my eyes , his expression immediately softened . " Don't..dont cry . It's killing me .. please . " He put an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to his body , hugging me like I was his lifeline to live which made me cry harder , knowing how bittersweet the moment was . I wanted to push him away but at the same time I wanted to cling on to him and never let go . I looked up at him with tear stained face and stood up on my toes and pressed a kiss on his cheek , knowing that I could never do it again . What did I have to lose now anyway ? My lips lingered on his cheek for a moment longer as he stiffened and that was my cue to leave , I turned on my heels , pressing my palms on my crutches and started to walk away when a hand gripped mine and pulled me back . I turned to look at Austin's heartbreaking eyes that were begging me to stay . " Please don't leave me . "