" Theodore , let's not kid ourselves ," Emma cut in gently . " Some truths are just too ugly to spell out . It makes things awkward for both of us . Honestly , divorce would be good for us . Really . Cecilia fits your idea of Mrs. Whitman much better- " " Emma ! " Theodore interrupted , his voice tight . " Are you still hung up on Cici ? I've explained it to you so many times . " She met his gaze steadily . " The one who can't get past Cici isn't me , Theodore . It's you ." He froze , searching her face for a moment . " Emma ... " " We both know , don't we ? " she said , forcing her voice to stay calm , to make it clear this was a real conversation , not just her lashing out . " It's time to put a period on these five years , Theodore . Let's say goodbye with some dignity . Let the past go , let it fade away ." He stared at her for a long moment , then finally stood up . " Emma , you're overthinking it . You'll see . Cici coming back doesn't change anything . It's late . Get some rest . " " Theodore , I know you feel guilty about me . But you don't have to . I really don't need a marriage built on guilt . Let me go , and set yourself free , too . Okay- " Before she could finish , Theodore shrugged off his jacket and headed into the bathroom . Emma watched as he tossed his jacket onto the little sofa . Once upon a time , she would've picked it up , hung it in the closet , found his pajamas and laid them neatly outside the bathroom door for him . But tonight , she didn't move . For the past five years , she'd convinced herself that , with her bad leg and inability to work , she couldn't contribute much to the household . Theodore handled everything so perfectly that she sometimes felt like a decorative piece in the home - useless , unable to help him at all . So , she tried in her own small way to care for him as best she could ... But maybe she'd missed something important : Maybe what he really needed wasn't her careful attention , but a wife he could proudly present to the world . Someone who could stand by his side at client events , like today . 1/2 11:49 Chapter 18 She just couldn't understand what he was holding onto , why - after everything - he still refused to let go . When Theodore came out of the bathroom , he climbed straight into bed , making it obvious he wasn't going to talk anymore . Emma didn't push it . Forget it . Every conversation drained her anyway . She might as well focus her energy on her own future , work toward the life she wanted . By the time she was ready to leave , the state of their marriage wouldn't matter so much anymore . Lying in bed , her thoughts drifted - not to Theodore and Cecilia , but to her own plans . In a month , she'd join Ms. Brown's touring company for a European tour , and not long after that , the new semester would begin .... She glanced at Theodore , already fast asleep beside her . In the dim light , all she could see was the blurred outline of his profile . The distance between them felt impossibly wide - as if a third person lay between them , separating their worlds . Theodore , I've decided not to blame you anymore . I hope that after I leave , you'll find happiness . The only thing she was truly grateful for now was that she and Theodore had never crossed that last boundary - they had no children , no deeper entanglements . Otherwise , life would have been twice as hard . Ironically , what once made her ache and feel inadequate now seemed like a blessing . That night , she slept deeply . When she woke the next morning , it wasn't the sunlight or her own thoughts that roused her - it was the sound of someone moving nearby . She opened her eyes to find Theodore sitting at the edge of her bed .