Chapter 13 UNRAVELING -CLAIRE'S POV ~ I can't breathe . Richard Blackwood is standing there , water droplets still clinging to his hands like tiny diamonds , and I can't breathe . It's been two years since I've seen him this close , and my body remembers everything . The way he fills a room . The way his presence makes my chest tight . The way he looks at him feels like drowning and coming up for air at the same time . " Claire . " Just my name . That's all he says , but it hits me like a physical blow because his voice is exactly the same . Rich and deep and full of promises I know he'll never keep again . I press my back harder against the door , wishing I could disappear into the wood grain . " You look ... " He steps closer , and I catch that familiar scent - cedar and something distinctly his . " God , Claire . You look incredible . " I want to laugh , but I'm afraid that if I open my mouth , I'll either sob or scream . Maybe both . " Don't . " The word comes out barely above a whisper . " Please don't . " " Don't what ? " " Don't look at me like that . Don't talk to me like we're ... like we're anything to each other anymore . " But even as I say it , I know it's a lie . We'll always be something to each other . You don't just stop loving someone because they destroy you . The heart doesn't work that way , no matter how much you wish it did . " Are you hiding ? " he asks , and there's something almost gentle in his voice that makes my chest ache . " I'm not hiding . " I lift my chin , trying to summon the strong woman I've spent two years becoming . " I needed air . " " From your engagement party . " It's not a question , but I nod anyway. He moves closer , and I should tell him to stop . Should remind him that I'm wearing another man's ring , that he's married to the woman who used to be my best friend . Instead , I watch him approach like I'm under some kind of spell . " Let me see it , " he says softly . " What ? " " The ring . Let me see what he chose for you . " I shouldn't . Every reasonable part of my brain is screaming at me not to let him touch me . But when he reaches for my hand , I don't pull away . 1/4 Chapter 13 +15 Bonus His thumb traces over the sapphire with devastating gentleness , and I'm seventeen again , letting him hold my hand in his car after our first date . I'm twenty - two , saying yes when he proposed with tears in his eyes . I'm twenty - five , sliding my wedding ring off my finger with shaking hands before I leave him forever . " Are you happy ? " The question comes out rough , like it's been scraped against broken glass . The answer should be easy . I should be able to say yes without hesitation . Alexander is everything a woman could want - successful , handsome , devoted . He loves me with an intensity that should take my breath away . But Richard's thumb is still moving against my skin , and I can't think straight . " Why do you care ? " I counter , because I'm a coward who can't answer simple questions when they're complicated . " Why do you think I care ? " " I don't know . " My voice breaks on the words . " I don't know anything anymore . Two years ago , I thought I knew everything about you , about us , about what we meant to each other . And then I came home and found you with Monica in our bed , and I realized I didn't know anything at all . " Something flickers across his face , pain , maybe , or regret - but it's gone too quickly for me to be sure . " Claire ..... " " Are you happy ? " I throw his question back at him . " Is she everything you thought she'd be ? Is your marriage everything you dreamed of when you were fucking her behind my back ? " The words taste bitter on my tongue , but I need to say them . Need to remind myself why I hate him . Except I don't hate him . That's the problem . I should hate him . I've tried to hate him . But standing here , looking into those blue eyes that once promised me forever , all I feel is the crushing weight of everything we lost . " I need a drink , " he says instead of answering . " Of course you do . " He moves to a small bar cart in the corner , and I watch the familiar line of his shoulders , the way his shirt stretches across his back . " You still drink vodka ? " The casual question hits me harder than his presence , harder than his touch . Because it means he remembers . After everything , after choosing Monica , after destroying our marriage , he still remembers how I take my drinks . " You remember , " I whisper . " I remember everything about you . " He doesn't turn around , but his voice is thick with something I don't want to identify . " The way you used to steal my hoodies and wear them around the house . How you'd leave little notes in my briefcase when I had important meetings . The face you make when you're trying not to cry . " 2/4 Chapter 13 +15 Bonus " Stop . " Tears burn behind my eyes . " Please stop . " " You want to know why ? " He turns around , holding two glasses . " Come here , and I'll tell you . " I should stay where I am . Should keep the distance between us . But my feet move without permission , carrying me across the room until I'm standing close enough to touch him . He holds out a glass , but when I reach for it , he doesn't let go . Our fingers brush , and electricity shoots up my arm like I've been struck by lightning . " Thank you , " I manage . " What are you doing , Claire ? " His voice is strained , like he's fighting something . " Having a conversation . " " This isn't just conversation , and we both know it . " He's right . This is dangerous territory , and I'm walking through it with my eyes wide open . " Then what is it ? " I ask , even though I'm terrified of the answer . Before I can blink , he moves . One second I'm standing in front of him , the next my back is against the wall with his hands braced on either side of my head . " This is you trying to prove something , " he says , his face inches from mine . " This is you trying to convince yourself that you've moved on when we both know you haven't . " " That's not .... " " You haven't changed , Claire . Not really . Underneath all that polish , all that success , all that armor you've built around yourself -you're still the same woman who loved me enough to forgive anything . " His words cut deep because they're true . I am still that woman . Still , the girl who fell for him when I was nineteen and never fully got back up . " Alexander might have put that ring on your finger , " he continues , his voice low and dangerous , " but you're still mine . You'll always be mine . " The possessive words should make me angry . Should make me push him away and remind him that he gave up any claim to me the day he chose Monica . Instead , they make me melt . Because some broken part of me still wants to be his , even after everything . His hand moves to my thigh , fingers tracing the slit in my dress with agonizing slowness . The touch is barely there , but it sets me on fire . " You should stop me , " he whispers against my ear . He's right . I should . I should push him away and walk out of this room and never look back . But I can't move . Can't breathe . Can't do anything but stand there and let him destroy me all over again . " Richard , " I breathe his name like a prayer . " Richard ? Are you in there? " Monica's voice shatters the moment like glass hitting concrete . I jerk away from Richard , my heart pounding so hard I'm sure it's going to burst . 3/4 Chapter 13 +15 Bonus Richard straightens slowly , his eyes never leaving mine as he fixes his shirt . That familiar smirk curves his lips - the one that used to make me weak in the knees . " Coming , darling , " he calls out . He moves to the door , pausing with his hand on the knob to look back at me one last time . " This conversation isn't over , Claire . " Then he's gone , leaving me alone with my shattered breathing and the terrible knowledge that I'm not nearly as over him as I thought I was . Not even close . Comments