---- Chapter 22 No.22 A bitter taste filled Ethan's mouth, but there was nothing he could do. He was finally experiencing the disappointment and sadness Ava had felt. Ava had no intention of catching up. She walked past him, but he grabbed her hand. Let's talk, he said. Ava knew she couldn't avoid it and wanted to get it over with, so she didn't refuse. She pulled her hand away and walked ahead. For the first time, Ethan was behind her. He remembered how Ava used to love following him, playing a game of stepping on his shadow, whining for him to carry her. When she grew up, she liked to hold his hand and lean on his shoulder. He had never followed her like this, watching her back. Under the moonlight, Ava's shadow stretched long. He watched her, his anxiety replaced by a sense of peace. "It would be nice to walk like this for a lifetime," he thought. But not everything could go as he wished. When they reached her apartment, she looked at him, her calm gaze making him feel like his dirty secrets were exposed. ---- He avoided her gaze and said softly, "Ava, come home with me, please? | regret it." He spoke eagerly, admitting that he had been scared, foolish, and cowardly, that he had chosen to escape in the stupidest way. | never had anything with Chloe, he said. "It was all an act." | never thought, and | didn't dare to think, how sad you were, he explained. "Just because of our situation, our history, | thought we would be shamed if we were together. | would rather be cruel myself." Ava, | think | made a mistake... he said, his voice trailing off. He wanted to look at her but shrank back. After he finished, Ava asked lightly, "Are you trying to tell me that after | left, you realized you couldn't bear to lose me, that you fell in love with me?" Ethan wanted to say yes, but his throat felt like it was filled with a thousand glass shards. He didn't dare to admit it. He just looked at her, his eyes full of affection, but said nothing. Ava looked at him and sighed. "Ethan Hayes, you don't love me." Ethan wanted to deny it, but seeing the complex emotions in her eyes, he swallowed his words. I've been thinking a lot lately, she continued. ---- You were half right about something. Ethan wasn't sure what she was going to say, but he knew it wouldn't be what he wanted to hear. He called out her name, "Ava," trying to interrupt her. You were half right when you said | couldn't tell the difference between love and affection. Ethan's face turned pale. Ava continued, reminiscing about how, at the age of eight, she was wary of everyone, but he had burst into her life, tolerating her and giving her a sense of security. He had filled the void left by her parents. In that situation, it was no surprise that she fell for him. She loved him and wanted him to love her forever. She had been greedy for his affection, selfishly wanting him to belong only to her. She was selfish, but at eighteen, she could tell the difference. She had truly loved him then. Maybe it was mixed with familial affection, but it was mostly a love between equals.