Trevor was the CEO of TPMichelson & Co. - his word was law in Chicago . Even Holden would sometimes sigh in relief , blurting out , " Thank heavens he's not on the opposing side ! " And yet , the same man everyone feared to offend was actually asking her if she would give up on him . " Trevor , whatever I had with Barrington ended a long time ago . The day I left him was the day it's over for us - there's no going back , " she reassured him . " I've told you this before . Why won't you believe me ? " Xanthe wasn't the type to explain herself , especially not repeatedly . But when it came to this she'd said it to Trevor more times than she could count . He slowly released her , but his serious eyes stayed locked on hers . " Because seven years ago , ' he answered in a low voice , " you gave me up for him ." " You never- " His voice cracked " -really liked me back then . I was just your backup plan ." His explanation hit her like a stone . For a long while , she didn't know what to say . When she spoke again , she searched his eyes and began to clarify things . " Trevor , look , it's not that I didn't like you . I just hated the feeling of being controlled - of having my life mapped out for me . " We grew up together . Everyone - your family and mine - just assumed we'd end up together . I felt like I had this invisible label on me : yours . " I was always the obedient daughter . I never once defied my parents . But marriage - it's a big deal . I didn't want to be told who to spend the rest of my life with . And I knew ... if I stayed here , I ' end up marrying you . " You think I didn't like you . But that's not true . What I couldn't stand was that my life felt scripted . " And then you followed me to Springfield . That made it worse . It felt like I was a caged bird - a pampered canary with no say in her own life . So I started to resent you . " Right then Barrington came into my life . He was everything you weren't - free , untethered . That kind of freedom was what I craved . So I fell for him . And I used him to push you away . " It wasn't about not liking you , okay ? I was just about not wanting a life where everything was being planned out for me . " She could see it now - Trevor's fear and insecurity . After all , she had felt the same with Barrington during those three years they were together - the lack of reassurance , the guessing . But Barrington had never given her the words she was giving Trevor now . And maybe because she knew how painful that was , she didn't want Trevor to go through it too . Trevor stared at her for a long time . He'd never expected her to open up like this . 1/2 9.7 % 12:41 pm A He had always assumed she didn't like him at all . Only now did he realize - he'd pushed her too hard and too fast back then . " Xanthe ... I- " He shook his head in regret . " I'm sorry . I didn't see it that way before , I- " " You don't need to apologize , " she cut in gently . " I should've made things clearer back then , too But now , can you tell me what's really going on ? " " Two things , " Trevor replied . " First - Barrington has his men looking for you . He's already tracke you here , but I intercepted the lead . " " Second- " He paused , his voice more careful this time . " Rumor has it Vionnet is pregnant ... with his child . " He watched her face closely as he spoke , searching for any flicker of emotion . But from beginning to end , her expression didn't change at all . " So , what - you're worried I'll go back to him ? " she asked . " Come on . " She laughed bitterly in disbelief . " That asshole's already got his mistress pregnant Do you seriously think I'd volunteer to be a stepmother to someone else's kid ? Is that how little you think of me ? " Trevor shot back , " You've done worse for him years ago . " That rendered Xanthe speechless for a second . After a while , she cupped his cheek with one hand . " Listen to me carefully , baby , " she said firmly " No matter what happens , Barrington and I are over . There's no future between me and him ." She patted his cheek , as if to wake him up . " Our wedding ? It will go on as planned , okay ? " " As for Barrington ... " She exhaled , barely a sigh , her lips quivering as her shoulders sank like she was painfully done . " Help me keep him at bay . I don't want him to know who I really am . Not yet . With her reassurance , something in Trevor visibly shifted . He even smiled . " Okay ." Meanwhile , in a hospital in Springfield , Vionnet covered her nose and mouth . " I'm still carrying your child , Barry , " Vionnet said , her muffled voice tight with irritation ever behind her hand . " Please don't smoke around me next time . " Chapter 11