" Now then , " he continued softly . " let's talk about something else . " " Let's talk about Elara . " 8 " You're insane ! " " Go to hell ! You should have died in that fire ! Burned to a crisp ! " Christina screamed in the dimly lit room , held down by two bodyguards . She had lost count of how many times he had poured hot water on her legs , how many times he had force - fed her the same charred mess of rice she had once made for him . Alistair sat impassively in his wheelchair , repeating his question . " Where is Elara ? " Christina froze for only a second , then a hateful , triumphant grin spread across her face . " Her ? She's dead ! Gone for good ! " " Didn't that pathetic , groveling bitch tell you ? Mission failure means erasure by the System ! " " Everyone else was terrified of you , but she actually volunteered to come here , to save a freak like you ! " " Alistair , she probably even had to watch us together . Imagine how much that must have hurt her ... " CRACK ! One of the bodyguards , taking his cue , slapped Christina with all his might , sending her sprawling to the floor . Alistair's throat worked , but the effort to control himself failed . He doubled over , his shoulders shaking , his eyes turning a raw , painful red . Christina lay on the floor , her initial shock giving way to hysterical laughter , which then dissolved into sobs . " Alistair , I stayed here for you ! You can't do this to me ! I love you ... " " Your affection level for me was always so high ! It wasn't a lie ! You felt something for me , didn't you ? " Alistair looked at her , his expression weary , the last of his composure finally cracking to reveal the cruel madness beneath . " Honestly ? The only thing I had to restrain myself from doing while playing your little games was killing you . " " I had to trick you into staying , and I had to fool the System's monitoring . It was ... difficult . " " But the moment I heard that she was still here , in some form ... do you have any idea how ecstatic I was ? " " Keeping you here was only ever about one thing : using you as leverage against the System that controls you . Is that clear enough for you ? " Christina's eyes widened in stunned disbelief . Alistair's breathing softened , as if the thought of me had a calming effect . He sat up straight , his expression once again cool and distant . He looked past Christina , as if staring directly at the unseen observers behind her . " One last time . This is not a negotiation . If you do not meet my condition , I will kill the main characters and destroy this entire world . You know I will . I am an unstable , insane man . " The silence that followed was thick with tension , a standoff between a madman and a god . Finally , the System spoke . Its voice was a furious torrent in my ear . [ Damn it !! Alistair , you twisted son of a bitch ! You burned her things as a show for me ! You actually managed to suppress your true nature for two whole years ! I never should have been so greedy for the points . I should have never taken on this impossible mission . ) [ You really are crazy ! If the world collapses , I'll be erased , but so will you ! )] 【 What the hell do you want ?! ) His gamble had worked . A cool breeze drifted in from the garden . He turned his head and looked at the crimson tree , pausing for a moment . The System fell silent . 10:17 Chapter 2 He spoke , each word clear and deliberate . " I want Elara . I want her to have a second chance to win me over . " 9 [ Shit ! ] the System spat , utterly defeated . 10:17 ( 3 In the end , the System had no choice . It used all the points it had ever accumulated to pay for my revival . Disgusted with the whole affair , it severed all its connections to this world , ignoring Christina's desperate cries for it to take her with it . Fortunately for her , Alistair was past the point of finding pleasure in torturing others . He simply subjected Christina to everything she had once done to him , then had her thrown out of the villa . Her fate was unknown , but one thing was certain : she could never return to her original world . I had suspected Alistair could see me . Perhaps it was just that he could hear the System and therefore pinpoint my location . The System's final message to him was : [ Elara is a special case . She volunteered to save you . The best I can do is bring her back in one year . As for whether she chooses to return to her world or stay here with you ... that's none of my business . 】 What the System deliberately omitted was that , for that entire year , I would be forced to remain by his side , a silent witness to his every move . 10 He froze for a second , then let out a breath of pure relief . " Good ," he whispered . I never thought Alistair would go to such lengths for me . Even as I was dying , I had felt a strange sense of comfort , believing that he didn't love me , that he would be fine after I was gone . Now , his reaction seemed ... normal . He had Martha clear out every trace of Christina , returning the villa to its former state . It was quiet and empty , just as he preferred , with only the warm sunlight daring to enter . Alistair , who had spent the first part of his life in dark- ness , had once craved the sun . Now , he spent his days sitting just inside the shadows , an inch away from the light , staring for hours on end . Martha found him there , by the floor - to - ceiling windows . " Sir , it's time for dinner . " Alistair glanced at the tray and didn't move . Instead , he asked , " Is Elara angry with me ? Is that why she doesn't want to come back ? " This was the second year of my absence . Two years that he had lived , and I had not seen . Martha's lips trembled , her eyes welling with tears , but she said nothing . Alistair continued , as if talking to himself . " I know she's mad at me . I was ... too harsh that day . She has every right to hate me . " " She was always the one comforting me . I couldn't even push her away . I don't know what she ever saw in me . I thought she was just like the others . " " I hate being lied to more than anything . But now ... now I wish Elara would come back and lie to me just one more time . " " If she did , I would pretend not to know . We could be together , forever . " " But she's not coming back . If I begged her , do you think she would look at me again ? " " I'm not asking for much . Just one look . That's all . " Martha didn't understand most of what he was saying . She sighed , placed the food on a nearby table , and quietly left the room . I sat down beside him . A single tear fell from my eye , passing straight through the back of my hand . Strange . Why did it hurt ? 11 He started spending more and more time lost in thought . New cuts , big and small , appeared on his arms . Martha told me it had started right 1017 Chapter 2 10:17 after I left , and had gotten much worse since Christina arrived . He would fly into sudden rages again , smashing things . He was constantly finding ways to hurt himself when no one was looking . When the therapist came today , Alistair had to fight every instinct to keep from grabbing the heavy glass ashtray and smashing it over the man ' s head . Martha watched , her heart in her throat . Her braised pork now tasted exactly like mine used to . But Alistair still said it was disgusting . Sometimes he would manage two bites before vomiting violently . " He's developed a severe self - rejection response , " the doctor said . " I strongly recommend hospitalization . " But when the attendants came , Alistair threw everything he could reach at them , a knife in his hand , his eyes glacial . " I'm not going . If I go , Elara won't be able to find me when she comes back . " He was like a tombstone , a monument to the seven years I had spent here . He stood stubbornly in this place , waiting for me , constantly searc- hing for any trace I might have left behind . He had burned my things to fool the System , but in truth , there was very little of me to burn . Most of it was about him . All the little details that he never noticed , I had carefully recorded and preserved . He began to repeat the things I used to do . He tried to learn to cook , always cutting his fingers . He had knitted four scarves , trying to replicate the one I had made for him . They were almost identical , but Alistair would just frown and unravel them . " No. It's not the same . " He couldn't explain what was different . He fell from his wheelchair , crawling across the floor to the sofa where I used to sit and watch him . It wasn't a comfortable position . He strug- gled , forcing his legs into the same curled - up posture I used to adopt . As he hugged a pillow , he saw a photograph wedged between the cushions . He froze , realizing it was the one thing of mine that had survived the fire . He pulled it out . I leaned in to look . It was a Polaroid , a candid shot I had taken of him . The setting sun cast a golden - orange glow over everything . He was in his wheelchair with his back to me , a small smile on his lips as he dozed in the warm light . Even the strands of his hair were gilded . A photograph always reveals the photographer's love for their subject . At that time , Alistair's episodes had become rare . He no longer had nightmares , and he had even stopped flinching at a casual touch . I had secretly snapped this picture from behind him . Alistair stared at it , lost in the moment . He was finally seeing himself as I had seen him , day after day . He turned it over . On the back , I had written : Alistair is the best person in the world . His jaw tightened . His breathing became shallow . How could he have been so blind ? One drop . Then another . Tears began to fall onto the old photograph , blurring the black ink. He clutched the picture to his chest , his body foldi- ng in on itself as a choked , agonizing sob tore from his throat . 12 Alistair's self - loathing returned with a vengeance . He started taking more than his prescribed dose of antidepressants , which led to constant , dry heaves . He slept more and more . Martha watched him , her heart breaking . Finally , she made a decision . She brought him the letter I had left with her . " Miss Elara asked me to give this to you . " A flicker of life returned to Alistair's vacant eyes . He took the letter , but his hands froze as he was about to open it . He just stood there , his fingers tightening and relaxing , lost and panicked . I had almost forgotten I'd written it . In the two days before I died , I had just read a famous , heartbreaking farewell letter from a historical figure to his wife . I was so moved by it , and I was suddenly terrified that Alistair might harm himself after I was gone . It seemed like a long shot , but i 1017 Chapter 2 thought I should leave him something , just in case . Just in case he might actually be sad . I never thought it would actually be needed . It felt a little embarrassing now ; I could barely remember what I had written . Alistair finally opened it . I leaned over his shoulder to read along . The first line was : [ Alistair , to see these words is to see me . ] His eyes darkened . He had to look away for a moment , his breath catching , before he could continue reading . 10.17 【 By the time you read this , I will probably be gone . Life is full of partings , and that's nothing to be sad about . It's like auturnn giving way to spring , every season has its own beauty . Your name has always felt so beautiful to me , a promise of overcoming the past and blooming in the future . I used to look at you and think , if only I had arrived sooner , maybe you wouldn't have had to suffer so much . It's not fair . Why does someone so good have to endure so much pain ? But I'm glad . I'm glad I arrived before despair did . I also wonder , if I had been more careful , more considerate , maybe I wouldn't have made you so angry all the time . I struggled with writing this letter for a long time . I was afraid of overstepping , of being presumptuous and upsetting you again . This isn't an accusation . Alistair , the reason I was willing to stay by your side is because you are a good person . You are stronger than you know . From now on , listen to Martha , and don't worry about me anymore . By the way , when you read this , has the flame tree in the garden grown bigger ? Are the blossoms thick enough to shelter the little pavilion yet ? It was always just like you , reaching passionately for the sky . You always longed for someone to come and save you . I know . I know you did . You have nothing to feel guilty for . You have done more than enough . Please , don't torture yourself anymore . Live well . If for nothing else , live for me . Take care . Elara . ] A slow , creeping sadness filled his beautiful eyes . When he reached the end , his knuckles were white as he gripped the fragile paper . He carefu- lly folded it and put it back in the envelope . His eyes red , he looked out the window at the first snow of the year and murmured , " Elara , it's so cold this winter . Why haven't you come back yet ? " 13 After that , Alistair committed to his therapy . He forced himself to eat , even when it made him sick . Martha would watch him , tears streaming down her face . On New Year's Eve , she insisted on staying , but Alistair sent her home . He knew she had a family and didn't want to intrude . He curled up on the sofa in the empty villa . The TV was on , but the lights were off . A famous comedian was on the New Year's Gala , and the sound of the audience's laughter filled the room . The flickering light played across his face , but I couldn't tell if he was watching . Outside , fireworks exploded in a continuous roar . Inside , it was dark and silent . If I had been here , I would have been in the kitchen , asking him what kind of dumplings he wanted . I would have secretly marked the one with the lucky coin inside , so he would get it every year . And I would have made a silent wish : May Alistair be happy , year after year . He curled himself into a tighter ball , as if trying to retreat into a thick shell . He started whispering my name , over and over . " Elara ... Elara ... Elara ... "