He curled himself into a tighter ball , as if trying to retreat into a thick shell . He started whispering my name , over and over . " Elara ... Elara ... Elara ... " - " Alistair , quick , light my sparkler too ! " I was giggling , my ears red from the cold , smiling at him in the gently falling snow . - " Wow ! Alistair , look ! That firework is huge ! Wait , we have to set off a big one too . We can't let them beat us ! " I ran over with a lighter , then scrambled back to hide behind his wheelchair as the colors exploded across the sky . - " It's midnight . Make a wish for the new year . " I pressed my hands together , my eyes closed in prayer . When he wasn't looking , I snuck a red envelope of lucky money under his pillow . 10:17 Chapter 2 10.17 Alistair had returned to the first rundown apartment we shared . He lay on the bed , curled in a tight ball , clutching the photograph and the letter . His dreams were filled with old memories , of a person who was gone . He had thought a year would pass quickly , but it was an agony . He wanted to rip his own heart out , to squeeze it until it stopped hurting . How , Alistair thought desperately , can even hope become so fragile , so terrifying ? 14 14 Another autumn arrived . It had only been a year since we parted , but it felt like a lifetime . Alistair had found an identical blanket , and was wearing the same clothes he had on that last day . At the same time of day , he had Martha wheel him out to the flame tree . Its canopy was now thick and lush , and it was in full bloom . He ran his pale hand over the bark . He looked up and said softly , " Yes , the tree you planted is big enough to shelter the pavilion now . When it rains , I can hear the drops pattering on the leaves . " I stood beside him , marveling . " It grew so fast . It was only as thick as my wrist when I first planted it . " Alistair , of course , couldn't hear me . He poured out all his anxieties to Martha , rambling as if trying to fit a year's worth of words into a single afternoon . " Do you think ... do you think Elara will hate these clothes ? They're old now . I washed them myself , with the detergent she said she liked . " " If she doesn't want to come back , that's okay too . At least she'll be with her family , happy and healthy . Not like me . All I want is for her to be happy . " " Will she still hate me ? For being so casual about her leaving that day ? The truth is , I couldn't bear it . All I could do was pretend to be cold , to throw a childish tantrum . " " Martha , if she comes back , will she remember me ? If she doesn't , that might be for the best . I was a monster back then , I trampled on her love . If she comes back , I'll follow her anywhere . She can hit me , scream at me , I won't let go . " " Do I still look okay today ? I'm afraid she'll think I've gotten old and ugly and won't want to see me anymore . " " I wasn't with anyone else . I had to do what I did . If she saw ... would she misunderstand ? " " I ... I'm so scared . " By the end , Alistair's voice was choked with sobs . Martha looked at him , her heart aching . She thought he was delirious . " S- ir ... " Alistair had her push him into the little pavilion . He sat in the same spot , staring out . " If I had known , I wouldn't have fallen asleep . I didn't even get to see her one last time . I have so many apologies to give her . " Martha had already left . He was alone . I sighed softly . " I know . I know everything . " In my original world , I was a comatose patient , an orphan , a burden . To torment Alistair , the System had never told him that it had deliberately chosen a good parallel world for my return . A world where my parents were still alive , where I was healthy and happy , living a comfortable , ordinary life . A flash of white light surrounded me , and I was pulled into a new space . The System's voice appeared in my mind one last time . 【 Well , it's been a year . Have you made your choice ? ] [ Alistair's world , or your new one ? 】 Its tone was confident, certain I would choose the latter . After all , I had only chosen to save Alistair in the first place because I had nowhere else to go . 15 Chapter 2 10:17 The setting sun cast a warm glow over the lush flame tree . A crisp autumn breeze rustled the leaves . A few hours must have passed . Alistair had lost track of time . He had injected himself with a slow - acting poison . His eyelids were growing heavy . In his dreams , he could hear Elara's voice , getting closer . " Alistair ... " " Alistair ! Are you an idiot ?! " It wasn't a dream . Alistair's eyes snapped open . She was there , right in front of him , her face anxious , her forehead beaded with sweat . His eyes immediately reddened . " Elara , " he rasped , his voice thick with unshed tears . " If you hadn't come , I really wouldn't have had a reason to live anymore . " He tried to say more , but the neurotoxin had nearly paralyzed him . He couldn't even speak . Luckily , she was already injecting him with the antidote that sat on the table beside him . Before he could say another word , I threw my arms around him , burying my face in his shoulder , my own voice choked with sobs as I scolded him .