Chapter 50 „At Sienna's words , Vivian's tears kept streaming down . No matter how hard she wiped , she just couldn't stop them . Her voice was choked with soba , barely able to form coherent words " Senna , that's not what meant H - " She sobbed . Vivian carried a dark secret in her heart , something she could neither forgive nor forget The slightest trigger would make Vivian lose control and act like someone else , just like today . She hated it , but she couldn't help hersell Sienna gently stroked Vivian's hair , her eyes brimming with guilt and cold fury that she gradually suppressed . Yet , when she spoke , her voice was as gentle as ever Sienna said softly , " It's okay . I'm here with you ." Hearing this , Vivian threw herself into Sienna's arms and broke down in uncontrollable sobs , all her pent - up emotions finally pouring out . It was as if Vivian was pouring out all her pent - up anguish . Sienna felt her heart wrench ; a metallic taste welled up in her throat . She closed her eyes and swallowed hard , forcing down the bitterness After crying her heart out , Vivian sniffled and glanced down at her tear stained clothes . A flush of embarassment crossed her face as she reached out to wipe them clean , Sienna gently held Vivian's hand and said , " Vivian , whatever's on your mind , just tell me ." Vivian from mid - motion , lowering her eyes . She knew that after what had happened , there was no way she could keep it hidden . Sooner or later , Sanna would find out Vivian twisted her fingers , her eyes burning with hatred " Sienna , I feel so tainted . When I was twenty , Dad summoned me home for dinner . Jocelyn framed me for stealing from her . " Dad slapped me and yelled that I was incorrigible , I ran out only to be kidnapped by a gang , T - They dragged me to a warehouse ." As Vivian went on , her voice grew more and more choked with sobs . She clenched her fingers until her knuckles turned pale , the effort betraying just how much pain she was holding inside Senna didn't stop her . She wanted Vivian to confront those painful memories piece by piece . Only then could she break free from this vicious cycle of emotional sell destruction . Vivian continued , her voice trembling . " T - They tortured me for so long that I can't even remember how long , Sienna , do you believe me ? I'm still a virgin . I just feel tainted . " They violated every inch of her body Vivian couldn't remember how she survived . All she remembered were the hysterical screams , breaking down over and over , but it was all useless . She was always on the verge of utter despair . They violated me with all kinds of devices . As a girl , she had never experienced such utter degradation before Before passing out , Vivian - only wanted to die , to vanish without a trace , leaving nothing behind to remember her by But Vivian still clung to the hope that Sienna was thinking that she wouldn't just abandon her like that . After each wrist - cutting attempt , Vivian would drag herself to the hospital to get patched up , over and over again , trapped in this vicious cycle of self Torment Vivian would put herself through hell as if she'd been stripped raw , inside and out By day , Vivian kept up a normal facade , but by night , she teetered on the edge of collapse , descending into madness . 15:41 Tue , 22 Jul Chapter 50 Vivian thought she couldn't go on like this anymore . She resolved to lock away those memories forever , sealing them deep in her heart . Even without seeing the video footage , Sienna would have believed Vivians without question . " I believe you. I know you would never the said Vivian's eyes shimmered with a bittersweet hope as she looked at Sienna . " Sienna , I don't know what to do . I'm not okay . There's another me inside that I can't control . She goes mad . She hurts people . " Her eyes dropped to Sienna's arm , hidden beneath the black fabric where nothing showed . But Vivian remembered all too clearly that she had b Vivian whispered, " I need therapy , but I'm scared , and can't afford it . " Comment