Chapter 9 Lisa clawed at his wrists , mascara streaking down her cheeks . I had no choice , Ethan ! Zack threatened me you know how he is ! Her voice hitched , fake tears pooling at her lashes . ] Ethans grip on her throat tightened , his eyes bloodshot , a man teetering on the edge of sanity . You think Id fall for that again ? Youre the reason I destroyed my marriage , the reason Lila left me with nothing but a grave for our child . [ ] I loved that baby too ! she gasped , nails breaking skin . Ill give you another please , lets start over- 0 He backhanded her , the slap echoing in the silent room . Youre not fit to carry my blood . [ His voice dropped to a growl . [ Youre a disease , Lisa . And diseases get eradicated . Her eyes flickered with terror as his madness sharpened , a switch flipped in his brain . [] Youre the hypocrite ! she screamed , seizing her chance as his grip faltered . [ You used Lila as a broodmare ! You let Zack violate her while she carried my embryo dont pretend this is my fault . You loved the power , the control . You broke her . Ethan froze , her words a knife to his gut . | Images flashed : Lilas tear streaked face , the blood on the nursery floor , the way shed looked at him like he was a stranger . She was completely right . [ ] No … he whispered , but she kept going , relentless . [ ] You married her for her familys wealth , then pitied yourself when she fought back . You never loved either of us you loved the version of yourself that played loving husband . [ She laughed , hysterical , blood trickling from her split lip . Admit it : youre the monster here . ] Something snapped . Ethan grabbed her by the hair , slamming her head into the marble coffee table crack shards of glass embedding in her scalp . She screamed , but he pressed his boot to her chest , pulling a switchblade from his pocket . [ ] Pain fixes people , he murmured , tracing the blade over her abdomen . [ ] You want absolution ? Lets carve it out . Her panicked babble cut off as the knife bit in until she shrieked , Lilas at the orphanage ! The one on Willow Road shes with the kids , please [ ] His hand stilled The blaze devoured the villa by dawn , flames licking the sky like a final goodbye , Ethan stood in the ashes , face blank , before turning toward the suburbs . ] The orphanage came into view at sunrise , childrens laughter a sharp contrast to the nights violence . [ Lila stood in the yard , a little girl on her hip , her gaze soft as she wiped a boys tears . [] Mommy Lila , do you have a baby ? a toddler lisped , tugging her hand . Chapter 9 Lilas smile faded , her palm resting on her stomach . [ ] I did once . But he went to be an angel . ] Ethan hid behind a tree , breath ragged . [ ] Her words tore at him , a raw wound he couldnt staunch . 0 She was healing . I Without him . [ ] Mommy Lila , the child persisted , will he come back ? ] Some angels stay gone , she said , voice steady but eyes glistening . But they leave love behind . ] Ethan didnt realize he was crying until a seagulls cry jolted him . [ ] He wanted to beg , to kneel , to undo every choice but her peace was a mirror , reflecting the monster hed become . [ ] He turned away , footsteps heavy , as the first rays of sun crested the horizon . [ ] The ocean roared its welcome as Ethan approached , waves crashing like distant applause . Behind him , sirens wailed too late , always too late . [ ] Ethan ? ] He froze . [ ] Her voice , young and hopeful , echoed from the past : their engagement day , the vows hed meant to keep , the life hed shattered . ] Im sorry , he whispered to the wind , to the ghost of her . I loved you . I just … forgot how . ] The police arrived as he stepped into the surf , saltwater stinging his cuts , memories swirling like the tide . [ ] Ethan , youre under arrest- He didnt look back . [ ] The last thing he heard was her laughter , faint and faraway , before the waves swallowed him whole .