RUNNING FROM MYSELF CHAPTER 50 : RUNNING FROM MYSELF LARRY'S POV I hadn't gone home in two days now . What was left for me there anyways ? The office smelled like stale coffee , ink , and literally my own exhaustion . Papers cluttered the desk in front of me , but none of them mattered . My tie was loose , shirt wrinkled ... and my shoes ... yeah , my shoes weren't even together . I'd kicked them off in some kind of half - conscious fit , and now they were tossed across the room like they were auditioning for a modern art exhibit . Classic me . I just couldn't bring myself to care . I sat in that same chair , staring at the same wall , drowning in the same thoughts . Brandy had been calling me non - stop . My phone had lit up so many times I'd memorized the pattern of her name flashing on the screen . But I didn't pick up . I couldn't . Not when my chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself every time her name appeared in my head . What would I even say ? That I'm falling apart ? That I can't breathe ? That the woman I once thought I could love now feels like a stranger ? Maya ... Christ . Maya . I still hear her voice in my head like a broken record . That soft , trembling whisper when she told me she loved me . Like the words had weight , like they meant something . And then - just as easily - she used that same mouth to tell me she hated me . It rang sharper , cut deeper . And the worst part ? Maybe she wasn't lying . Maybe she meant it . Maybe that was all I deserved . And the company . Don't get me started . Numbers were dropping faster than my patience . Clients pulling out , investors side- eyeing every move I made . My empire ? Slowly crumbling , and guess who was too proud and exhausted to even try to save it ? Yep . Me . How the hell did everything turn out like this ? Last year , I was on top of my game ... killing it at work , my life neatly organized , people actually listening when I spoke . And now ? Shoes tossed across the room , my company slowly bleeding money , my love life in shambles , and me ... sitting here like a hot mess , wondering if I even remember how to adult . I used to have plans , ambitions , a vision . Now I have chaos , guilt , and a headache that won't go away no matter how hard I tried to discard . Bravo , life . Really nailed it this time . I pressed my palms into my eyes , trying to erase her from my skull , but she stayed . I wish she was here . She always knew the exact words to shut down the chaos in my head , the ones that could make me stop spiraling long enough to breathe . Not that anyone else could even come close ... everyone else just talks , talks , talks ... and somehow makes it worse . The office was dead quiet until the door creaked . My head jerked up , and there she was ... Maggie , the janitor . Pushing her cart , humming low like she was just trying to get through her night . Then her eyes landed on me ... she immediately froze . And then .... She screamed . I shot up from my chair , my pulse slamming against my temples . " Can you keep it down , Maggie ? " Her hand flew to her chest . " Oh my God , sir ... I thought you were a ghost . Because you ... " " Stop talking and just do your damn job , " I snapped , sharper than I actually intended . The silence that followed was ... brutal . Her expression shifted instantly , whatever calm she walked in with was now gone . She immediately lowered her gaze to the floor , and she apologized morosely . Her hands fumbling with the rag in her grip like I'd just stripped the dignity out of her . And guilt .... God , guilt sank its claws right into me . I could feel it choke me . Why the hell did I say that ? Why lash out at her ? She wasn't the enemy . She wasn't Maya . She wasn't Larry Jonathan who got his life upsidedown . She was just Maggie ... just a woman doing her job , late at night , probably tired , probably needing the money to pay rent , to keep the lights on , to make 1/2 RUNNING FROM MYSELF +25 BONUS sure her kids had something to eat , or just maybe , treat herself to something that isn't survival . I opened my mouth . The word sorry pressed against the back of my throat . But I couldn't spit it out . My pride ... my bitterness , whatever poison I'd swallowed , kept it trapped . So I did what I always do when things get too heavy . I ran . I grabbed my coat and walked out , leaving her in silence . The parking lot was half - lit . Shadows stretched long across the asphalt , the cold night air biting my face . I slid into my car . What am I even doing with my life ? Two days in the office , no sleep , no peace . My life felt like it was crumbling , but I was too stubborn to admit it . Too proud to ask for help . I was stuck between who I used to be and who I was becoming ... and neither one looked like someone worth saving . Buzz . My phone lit up , vibrating on the passenger seat . Without thinking , I answered . " Larry . " The voice was calm , almost mocking . " Are you really going to keep the person you're supposed to be picking up from the airport waiting ? " My stomach dropped . Shit . I'd forgotten . 2/2