Chapter 25 If my island tan were just a little bronzier, not only would I feel like a goldfish in a bowl being ogled by an entire city, but I'd look like one too. My ears ring from the helicopter, and my heart pounds in percussive harmony with the sound. The cameras haven't stopped flashing, and my body hasn't breathed air since we got here, smothered instead by the desperate hugs of my parents and grandparents and Beau and June and Addy, and now, to make matters worse, there's a woman fondling Henry Callahan like she owns him, and she is not me. "God, Avery!" June cries into my neck, still worked up fifteen minutes into our arrival. I barely manage to keep my balance as she clings to me. Her tiny baby bump presses against my stomach, and she's sobbing again like a water main break. "I can't believe you're here! You're really here!" "Relax, June," I say, patting her back as gently as I can. "I'm fine. See? All in one piece." She pulls back, mascara streaking her cheeks, and glares at me like I just insulted her unborn child. "Relax? Relax?! You were missing for two weeks, Avery! I thought I lost you! I thought I was never going to see you again! And you want me to relax? Are you kidding me!" Oh boy. "Juni, honey," I say, gently putting my hand on her shoulder. "I think you need to calm down. You're pregnant, and there's no way it's healthy to be this worked up. I mean, I know how scary a life without me in it sounded..." Beau and my mom both bark little laughs, obviously relieved to find I'm still the same Avery they know and love. "But I'm here. I've been here for fifteen minutes." "You're impossible," she huffs, swatting my arm away before pulling me into another hug. "I hate you. Don't ever do that again." "I love you too," I mumble into her shoulder. When June finally lets me go, my gaze latches on to my dad's face. He's crying actual tears-something I haven't seen him do in years, and a pang of serious discomfort runs through me. If he's feeling things this strongly, they truly must have thought I was dead. "Dad, are you crying?" I ask, my voice dripping with disbelief. "Shut up, Avery," he says, sniffing loudly. "Shut up and give me another hug because I thought I'd never see you again." I roll my eyes but step into his arms. His hug is tight, almost crushing and a little painful, but it's comforting. There's never been a problem my daddy couldn't fix-or, at the very least, would try to with all the money and resources at his disposal. I can't imagine the lack of control he felt not even being able to find me, let alone save me. "Okay, okay, Neil. Release the vise grip, or else you're going to break my ribs," I say, laughing softly. "Good," he mutters, eventually letting me go. "Serves you right for scaring me half to death." My mother pulls me into another hug, her forty-seventh, if I recall, squeezing me a tiny bit less tightly because her breast implants make it tough to get as close, and then Beau is next, his expression a mix of relief and annoyance. "If you ever pull a stunt like this again, I swear..." "You swear, what?" I retort, quirking a brow at him. "I only went on this trip because of the two of you, remember? You can't back out. It'll still be fun," I mock, using my best version of his and June's voices. I don't mean to place any blame or renew erroneous guilt at all-it's a joke, at best-but good intentions or not, the words do not help June's emotions. My niece Addy tries to console her with a few pats to her shoulders, but I have a feeling the pregnancy hormones are running this ship now. "Oh my God!" she wails. "I did this to you. We did this to you! We-" Beau cuts off her tormented tirade by pulling her and Addy into his arms and pressing a soft kiss to June's forehead. "It's okay, Juniper June. Don't focus on the what-ifs, baby. Focus on the fact that both Avery and Henry are safe." "Avery and Henry!" June wails into his shoulder. "That's all I've heard for the past two weeks. Avery and Henry have been missing for forty-eight hours. Avery and Henry have been missing for five days. Ten days and the rescue teams have still not been able to find Avery and Henry." She sobs harder and pulls me back into her arms, and with a quick glance over her shoulder at my brother's tired eyes, I start to wonder if he's had it harder than me after all. Sure, I was hungry and thirsty and I missed my creature comforts, but for thirteen days, he's had...this. "Don't ever do that again!" June yells at me, but her face is pressed into my shoulder, and her voice is muffled through her sobs. "You're never allowed to travel anywhere, Ave. And if you go anywhere, you need to tell me first. I don't care if it's to your stupid Botox appointment. You need my permission." My poor June. She's a mess. "I love you. I'm safe." I squeeze her tightly, gently rubbing my hand up and down her back. "And I promise I won't travel anywhere without your approval, okay? You can even come to my pap smear appointments and hold the speculum if it makes you feel better." "Okay." She nods and sniffles, which makes me smile. Volunteering for OB-GYN duties without a degree is the definition of being in a bad way. Eventually, she leans back, shaking her head as she does, and Beau reaches forward to swipe a few tears from her face. He also takes Addy from June's hip, and June releases me from her Hulklike hold and steps into Beau's side. "You's okays, Auntie?" Addy asks, and I rush to press a kiss to her cheek. This has to be so confusing for her, and I imagine I look nothing like she's used to either. "Yes, Addy. I'm okay. Promise." Addy smiles and even holds out her hand to give me a high five. My grandma Bev shoves out of my grandpa Phil's arms and wraps me in a hug clogged with expensive perfume. It's a popular older ladies' scent apparently, as I've learned over the last year. I hug her back, squishing into her plush, blood-red sweater and breathing her in. My grandparents are the ritzy type-not the cookie-baking, sleepover-holding, lollipop-doling-out kind I've heard of online-but their love and loyalty is immeasurable, and I can't imagine the strain of watching their own children long for me. "Love you, Grandma," I whisper into her ear, and she just purses her red-stained lips and pokes the tip of my nose before retreating back to her posse. I know my other three grandparents are dying for hugs, too, but staying back to keep from smothering me, so I go to them instead, pulling them each into my embrace and holding them as tightly as my arms will manage. My grandfathers both pull back quickly, trying to conceal the shaking embodiment of their tears. My mom's mom, Judy, though, she lays a wet kiss on my cheek so moist, I'm pretty sure if I spread it around, I could use it as a shower. "Never scare us like that again," June threatens as I step into my own space, a jack-in-the-box on repeat, and I smile at her. "No more island adventures. I promise." It's a truth and a reminder at once, urging me to find my source of comfort in the crowd now that I can breathe again. It doesn't take long to find Henry where I saw him last; I'm too attuned to him at this point to struggle. The woman I can only assume is his girlfriend, Ashley, clings to him even tighter. She's pretty-blond, petite, and well-dressed-and very clearly emotional over him. She cares. Maybe even loves him. And I can't even fucking blame her. Henry Callahan is the real deal. He leans in, speaking softly to her, and the visual feels like someone has buried a knife straight into my chest. Which is stupid...right? She's his girlfriend. I'm just the woman he survived with, the woman who coerced him into taking her virginity even when he fought it because he's a good fucking guy. The woman who wishes she were right there, in his pretty girlfriend's place. Before I can dwell on it further, another voice cuts through the chaos, a raging bellow of an irritable man who I find quickly fighting with Coast Guard security to get through. "Avery!" Oh God. Justin. My...boyfriend. Even if I did blame Henry for clinging to me while we were there and then running back to Ashley upon arrival-which I don't-it'd be the literal definition of calling the kettle black. I didn't just forget about Justin while we were there-I willfully ignored him. You're a total bitch, Avery Banks. A total fucking bitch. In a full-blown cry, his face red and blotchy, Justin pulls me into a hug that sends my small, frail body reeling. "Thank God you're okay! I was so worried about you, Avery!" "Uh, hey, Justin," I say, my voice awkward as I pat his back. "I'm fine. Really." He pulls back, his hands on my shoulders, and looks me over like he's inspecting me for injuries. "I thought I'd lost you," he says, his voice thick with emotion. "I've been so worried, Avery. I feel like it's been a year since I last saw you, baby." My mind struggles to remember the last time I even saw Justin. I mean, in my defense, we've only been dating for a short time. A month. Two months, tops. I think... The point is, clubbing with Justin and making out on the dance floor feels like an entirely different lifetime ago. "I'm good, Justin." I know my tone is a little too light for the situation, but hell's bells, I don't know how to react to someone I completely forgot existed. I've always been the type of girl who wears her emotions on her sleeve, so hiding the fact that I can hardly remember why I was even dating this guy in the first place is really damn hard. He leans forward to press a kiss to my lips, and it's a shock to my system. I've kissed hundreds of guys in my lifetime-in clubs, at random, and without second thought-but for the first time ever, the very act feels wrong. Even as Justin talks, my eyes search for someone else. The only someone else. "God, Avery, I've missed you. And going through the past two weeks thinking I'd lost you for good has put everything into perspective for me," Justin says, taking my hand into his. Behind me, I hear my dad whisper to my mom, "Who is this guy?" To which she answers, "That's Avery's boyfriend, Jamie." "It's Justin," June corrects quietly. Beau laughs. I'm distracted easily, but Justin doesn't hear them at all, rubbing at the backs of my hands with his thumbs and staring into my scattered eyes. "When I saw you were being rescued, I knew what I needed to do. What I wanted to do. Life shifted, you know? Got put into perspective." Releasing my hand, he sinks his own into his pocket and bends notably at the waist, his knees flexing forward. My eyes narrow as he gets shorter and shorter, his body looking increasingly, frighteningly, like he's about to get down on one knee. Oh my Gawd. Yep. The knee just made contact. My eyes go wide. "No. No, no, no, nooooo," I rush to say, putting my hands to his biceps and lifting with all my strength. But I'm arguably weaker than normal, he isn't budging, and his stupid fucking knee might as well be glued to the tarmac. My mom gasps, and June shrieks. My grandpa Phil clears his throat like he's choking. Panicked, I lean forward and get close, my words urgent. "Not right now, Justin," I whisper toward him, shaking my head maniacally. Not ever, for the love of everything. Justin's brow furrows. "What is he doing?" Beau questions, stepping closer. I turn to him quickly, praying to all that's holy to keep him from drawing more attention to this. "Nothing," I say quickly. "He's doing absolutely nothing. Right, Justin?" Justin looks up at me, confused. "Avery?" "Justin," I say, trying to keep my voice steady. "Now is not the time. Seriously. Get up." Reluctantly, he stands, his face a mix of hurt and confusion. "I...I just wanted to-" "Don't," I interrupt, putting a hand on his arm and then gentling my voice as much as I can manage. "We'll talk later, okay?" Justin nods slowly, stepping back, and I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. I glance frantically to Henry, and for the first time since we've arrived, thank God for the blonde clinging to his every word and distracting him. I don't want to go back. To the heat and the hunger and the uncertainty. But I can't avoid that some things were simpler. Better, even. On the island, I didn't need an excuse to keep Henry to myself.