22 Planning the wedding with Saoirse while married to another woman was its own circle of hell . But watching her light up over dress designs , venue options , flower arrangements - I couldn't take that from her . Couldn't break her heart until I had to . " Till death do us part , " I had engraved in her ring . Meaning it . Knowing I was already forsworn . The night before the wedding , I didn't sleep . Kept reaching for my phone to call her , to confess everything . Cowardice won . I convinced myself one more day wouldn't matter . One more day cost me everything . The morning of the wedding , I woke with dread in my stomach . " Today's the day , " my mother said at breakfast . " Are you sure about this deception ? " " What choice do I have ? Tell Saoirse now and destroy her special day ? " " Better than destroying her life . " But I was weak . I wanted one last moment of her looking at me with love instead of hate . Standing at the altar , waiting for her , I allowed myself to imagine it was real . That Delphine didn't exist . That the baby she carried wasn't my responsibility . Then the doors opened , and my world ended . Delphine in Saoirse's dress . The dress I'd designed for the only woman I'd ever love . " Where is Saoirse ? " My voice broke on her name . The answer came in a package . All our gifts returned . Her father's cold dismissal . She was gone . And I'd driven her away . The months after became a blur of violence and whiskey . I looked for her everywhere . Her apartment , her family's compound , every safe house I knew . Nothing . " Let her go ," my mother advised . " You chose duty . Live with it . " But I couldn't . I haunted her building like a ghost . Waited outside her work . Made a fool of myself in front of her neighbors . Delphine tried to play wife . I couldn't stand the sight of her . " You're mourning her , " she accused one night . " Your mistress . " " She was never my mistress . She was my future . You're just an obligation . " Cruel words . True words . Delphine's mask slipped for a moment , showing something calculating beneath . When Saoirse finally reappeared , I was pathetic with relief . Seeing her outside her building - healthy , whole , cold as winter - I would have done anything to win her back . " From start to finish, you were the only one I wanted to marry . " Truth . But truth too late . She looked at me with eyes that had once heid love and saw a stranger . A betrayer . A weak man who chose family duty over her . She was right . The night at the hospital , when the doctor mentioned Saoirse's procedure , my world shifted again . Our baby . Gone . She'd been pregnant . Carrying my child while I played house with another woman . She'd made the choice alone . Suffered alone . Erased our future alone . Because I'd left her alone . I wanted to rage . To demand answers . To beg forgiveness . But what right did I have ? I'd made my choice . She'd made hers . The only difference was her choice protected an innocent from a life of lies . Mine perpetuated them . Discovering Delphine's betrayal felt like cosmic justice . She'd been selling information to our enemies . The baby wasn't even Aiden's - DNA proved that . My brother died for nothing . I destroyed my life for nothing . Saoirse suffered for nothing . All for a lie . When I pulled the trigger in that warehouse , I felt nothing . No satisfaction . No relief . Just emptiness . " It's done ," I told my mother afterward . " Good . Now you can win Saoirse back . " But she'd already moved on . Fitzgerald was everything I should have been - honest , protective without being possessive , treating her as an equal . Watching them together was another kind of death . held on for another year . Tried to rebuild the O'Sullivan empire . But my heart wasn't in it . Every deal reminded me of her . Every victory felt hollow . 22 " You're going to get yourself killed , " Declan warned . " Or worse , get us all killed . " He was right . I was taking stupid risks , making emotional decisions . So I did the only honorable thing left . I stepped down . " The family needs a leader who wants to lead ," I told the gathered lieutenants . " That's not me anymore . " My mother begged me to reconsider . " You're the last O'Sullivan heir ! " " Then let the name die with me . Some legacies aren't worth preserving . "