Chapter 3 That night , while I was lying in bed , my husband came into the room . ] It had been months since he even looked at me , let alone touched me . [ ] " Elspeth Carter …. I need to tell you something . " " Just don't freak out , okay ? " ] I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say . But even so , I needed to hear it with my own ears . [ ] He fumbled with his words , eyes darting . " We've … we've all decided . " [ ] " We're not gonna treat Sera's illness . " ] ] I froze . My heart stopped . I stared at him like he was a stranger . ] How could a father say something like that ? ] I remembered the man I fell in love with - kind , gentle , full of empathy . ] Back in college , he'd stop traffic to rescue a stray dog or help someone carry groceries . [ ] He made me feel like I was the only girl in the world . [ ] When we started dating , he was the most thoughtful man I knew . [ ] If I had cramps , he'd show up with heating pads and ginger tea . ] ] If I worked late , he'd drive ten miles just to bring me my favorite food . ]] When I got pregnant , I worried he'd be disappointed if it wasn't a boy . ] He promised me over and over - boy or girl , he'd love them just the same . ] ] So did his parents . But the second the ultrasound said " It's a girl , " ] ] He checked out . Didn't even look at our daughter when she was born . Never once let her call him Dad . [ ] Always distant , always cold . I thought maybe deep down , something biological would kick in . ] Some kind of fatherly instinct . [ ] But now , listening to his words , I knew that instinct never existed . [ ] He didn't even notice how shattered I was . He just kept going , like he was talking about the weather : " After Sera passes , we can try again . " " Maybe next time it'll be a boy , right ? " ] I stared at the smug , self - satisfied grin on his face . The memories came flooding back . He said nothing when they dragged Sera into that operating room . ] 193 at My GRAVE Chapter 3 He was the first to sign off on her organ donation . ] And now he was the first to say - she doesn't deserve to live . [ ] My rage boiled over . ] I slapped him across the face , hard . Thaddeus Miller , you're a goddamn monster . " [ ] He staggered back , stunned . Then his face twisted with anger . [ ] " You crazy bitch ! You've completely lost it ! " ] " Whether you agree or not , Jethro isn't getting tested . " [ ] " And we're not paying a damn cent ! " ] He stormed out and slammed the door . I sat there , shaking , the weight of grief and hate crushing my chest . ] All I could think now .. was how to get my daughter away from these people . [ ] Ebrever .