Chapter 25 Somewhere between the ultrasounds, the constant exhaustion, and the sudden cravings for salt on everything and pickled foods, my world had quietly rearranged itself to include Matt without either of us ever saying it out loud. I had his card back. Not in a weird, sugar-baby, buy what you want forever kind of way, but in a you're carrying my children and if you dare try to buy a stroller with your own money I will just transfer it back to you kind of way. I had a driver, too, which was probably the weirdest addition. His name was Chris, and he always had water bottles ready and somehow knew exactly when the music started to grate on my ears and would turn it down. Matt had insisted - "You'll end up causing a twelve-car pileup trying to eat pickles from a jar and drive at the same time." He wasn't wrong. We had a rhythm, though. I'd see him a few times a week, usually weekend nights when I wasn't so exhausted from teaching and Zach had already gone to bed. Dinner, laughter, the kind of ridiculous sex that left me breathless and aching in places I couldn't talk to my OB about. But when it was over, we didn't curl up and whisper things in the dark, we didn't linger, we didn't drift off like we had in Cancun. He'd kiss my shoulder and tell me to text him when I got home if I was leaving his, or I'd fall asleep in my bed and wake up to empty sheets and a note to have a good day. There wasn't a conversation. There wasn't a commitment laid out in spoken terms, and there weren't promises outside of "I'm not going anywhere." But, weirdly, it didn't feel empty. Probably because he kept showing up, every time, never running completely and always coming back. I hadn't asked him to prove anything, not directly. But I knew he could feel me waiting to see if he'd slip again, if he'd vanish when things got too hard. So far, he hadn't flinched, even when the hormones got messy and I'd sobbed when Zach drew a stick figure of me. He'd just pulled me into his chest in front of his kid and kissed the top of my head like he understood. I didn't know exactly how much of our situation he'd told Zach, but Zach seemed content and unquestioning anytime Matt was affectionate with me around. He'd asked a handful of times about the babies. He knew he was going to be a big brother, but at least around me, he didn't ask about my role in all of this or what it would mean. Not that Matt and I had even fully had that conversation yet. So, when Matt had asked me to spend a few evenings around his place while he was in Tokyo for business, just to help keep Zach's routine somewhat normal and give Margot a bit of a break, I'd said yes. A million times yes. It wasn't babysitting. Just spending time with him during the easy periods, even though I'd tried to insist I could do more. Matt had very gently suggested I let Margot handle anything harder, like taking Zach out or getting him ready for swim lessons. "You're growing two people," he'd said. "You're allowed to sit down and watch cartoons, Sienna." I still got to help him with his homework, though. But today, while Margot did the grocery run and Zach and I made a tower out of couch cushions with T-Rex Time Jam playing in the background, the doorbell rang. Zach turned his head toward the sound, his little brows scrunched up. "That's weird. Margot never rings the doorbell." "Maybe it's a delivery," I said, pushing up carefully from the floor with one hand on the edge of the couch. Matt and Margot hadn't mentioned anything was coming, but unless it was a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses here to try to convert us, I didn't have a better guess. He hopped off the cushion stack and followed me, trailing right behind. "I don't think so. Delivery people use the buzzer. Daddy never tells them the gate code." "Maybe Margot forgot her keys, then." Zach didn't look convinced, but he nodded and skipped right up to the front door anyway. I paused with my hand on the knob, leaning to the side to glance through the peephole. I froze. Of course it was him. "Zach, can you go check the pillow fort?" I said, trying to keep my voice light as I straightened up. "Make sure it's not falling over. I think your T-Rex might've knocked something loose." Zach, in all his innocence, didn't even question it and perked up immediately. "Okay!" he chirped, darting off, pretending to speak into a non-existent walkie-talkie with words like "rescue mission" and "operation rex is go." I waited until he was fully out of sight, then unlocked the door and wrenched it open two inches. Enough for me to look Ryan in the eye. He stood there in his button-up shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbows, mousy brown hair a bit of a mess, his tie askew. His brow twitched a little as he registered my face, but then he rolled his eyes and took a step toward the door like I was a problem in his way. "I didn't say you could come in," I snapped, shutting the door an inch. "Right, like you have authority." He hooked his fingers on the door, pushing back, forcing it back open. "MATT!" "Jesus, Ryan, stop, you'll freak out Zach," I said, letting the door open but stepping in the way of him. His brown eyes clashed with mine. "I need to speak to Matt." "He's not here," I bit out, pushing him back with a hand to his chest, guiding him backward out the door, and he almost fought me on it, almost pushed against me, until his eyes dropped. My shirt was tight. There was no hiding it. And his eyes zeroed in on my stomach. "Jesus," he rasped, a scowl rippling across his features. "What the fuck?" I shut the door behind me, trapping him on the porch and shielding Zach's ears from whatever words he wanted to spew. "Are you really going to pretend you care and make a big deal out of this or do you want to leave?" His lip curled just a little as he took another step back, blinking at my stomach before dragging his gaze back up to my eyes. "Neither. I need to speak to Matt," he repeated. "Okay, well, as I said, he's not here. So, if you need money, call him." "I tried." I slipped my phone out of my pocket and checked the time, doing the mental math quickly. "It's, like, seven in the morning for him right now," I said, trying to keep my patience. "He's probably just waking up." His nose scrunched. "Where is he?" "Tokyo. Which you would know if you cared in the slightest and didn't just want to speak to him to get paid." He stared at me for a moment, something simmering in his eyes that I couldn't quite place. "You think that's why I'm here?" I rolled my eyes. "Is there another reason? Did you just come up with it?" "Wow," he murmured, his tongue pressing into his top teeth. He dodged my questions entirely. "How much money has he given you?" I recoiled, just a hair. "What?" "Clearly, he's buttered you up enough to believe him." "He hasn't buttered me up," I snapped. Ryan leaned against the pillar on the porch, his eyes narrowing. "Don't tell me getting pregnant was enough to sway you." "I believed him before I even found out." "Gullible, Sienna," he mocked. "So, fucking gullible." "Yeah. I was, when I was with you." I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to ignore how weird that felt now with something to almost rest them on. "Last I checked, Matt hasn't cheated on me with my best friend while pretending to love me, so forgive me if I find him far more believable." "Yet." "Yet?" A ripple of something entirely unreadable flickered across his face before smoothing out. "How do you think Matt ended up with the kid?" I frowned, trying to conjure up anything Matt had told me about it. The air around us thickened, heavy and brutal, like a storm about to snap. "He said he's had Zach since he was six months old," I said slowly. "But it's not your place⁠-" Ryan huffed a laugh, dry and half-removed. "Is that what he told you?" My arms tightened instinctively. "His ex gave him full custody, Si. Handed Zane⁠-" "-Zach-" "-to him willingly. You know why?" I didn't answer. I wasn't sure I even wanted to hear, especially not from Ryan's mouth. "Because he cheated on her," Ryan said, each word sharp, each word measured. "Repeatedly. Lied straight to her face throughout her entire pregnancy, just like he's probably doing to you. She couldn't handle it when she found out. She couldn't even look at Zach without seeing him." I blinked, once, twice, three times, faster. "That's not⁠-" "She was a mess, spiraled hard. She gave up everything. Said she didn't want anything to do with him and couldn't keep Zach 'cause it was fucking her up. And Matt... he played the part of the hero, obviously. Took the kid, cleaned up the wreckage he caused. That's what he does." I wanted to laugh, wanted to call it bullshit, but the words caught in my throat. Matt had never once mentioned Zach's mom. Not in any conversation we'd had about parenting, about life, about the things that had shaped him or the things he wanted to fix this time around. And I hadn't questioned it - I thought it was painful, or private, or something he'd mention when the time was right. I thought⁠- Fuck. I said nothing. I didn't know what to say, didn't know what to think. Matt didn't seem like that kind of person, but neither had Ryan, and I knew damn well now that both of them were more than capable of hurting me. Ryan pushed off the pillar and adjusted his sleeves like he hadn't just flipped my world on its side. "Figured you deserved to know what you're getting into before you tie yourself to someone worse than me," he said casually, then let his eyes drop to my stomach again. "Apparently I'm a bit too late for that, though." He walked off without another word, down the steps to his car, and slammed the driver's side door behind him. And I... I felt like the world was caving in.