Chapter 28 Lucy smiled from behind me in the mirror. "It looks so much more beautiful now that it's perfectly fitted to your body, doesn't it?" We were at my final dress fitting, and she was right. The dress was absolutely perfect and fit like a glove. I should've been on top of the world. Yet for the last couple of weeks, since the phone call with Candace, instead of excitement over my wedding, I'd been preoccupied with the idea of losing Dorian forever. I was certain he and Liv were getting closer. As the wedding date had grown closer, too, more than anything, I became more and more ashamed of my inner turmoil as it related to Casey. He had a right to know what was going on in my mind. I'd been so afraid to hurt him, yet wasn't I hurting him anyway by keeping him in the dark? Somehow I'd justified it. As I looked at myself in the beautiful white dress, I imagined walking down the aisle, but all I could see at the far end waiting for me was Dorian. His beautiful face smiling back at me, tears in his eyes as I made my way toward him. That was my dream. As a tear rolled down my cheek, I doubted more than ever whether going through with the wedding was right. I couldn't continue to pretend I was happy. I wasn't. It suddenly felt like the dress was squeezing me-choking me. I needed it off. I turned to the attendant. "Can I get out of this?" She rushed toward me. "Is everything okay?" "Yes. I'm just having a...hot flash or something and don't want to ruin the dress." "Of course." I escaped into the dressing room and slipped out of the gown, eventually handing it to the attendant to hang. I looked at my red, blotchy face in the mirror and knew I'd reached my breaking point. "Are you okay in there?" Lucy's voice came through the door. I wiped my eyes. "I'm fine! I'll be right out." I managed to pull myself together before returning to Lucy. Thankfully, she didn't pry, though she had to know something was off with me. As I drove home, I felt horribly conflicted, dreading what needed to be done, but unable to ignore it anymore. I stopped at the one place I knew might give me peace and clarity before facing Casey. It was a cloudy day, perfect for a trip to the cemetery where my mother was buried. I knew exactly how to get to her plot from the entrance, never needing a map. I was grateful to be back in Ohio so I could visit her again. I knelt by Mom's gravestone. "Boy, Mama, I could sure use your advice right now." I looked up at the sky. "I wonder if you'd be disappointed in me. As you probably know, I have a wonderful man who loves me and our child-your sweet granddaughter. And I'm seriously considering throwing it all away. I don't want Rosie to have a broken family like I did. She deserves better. But doesn't she also deserve a mother who's true to herself?" I brushed my fingers along the top of the headstone. "I've been lying to myself. I feel safe but not fulfilled. I'm struggling to accept the fact that my happiness should ever be more important than Rosie's. Wouldn't that be selfish? Doesn't your own happiness stop being a priority the day you have a child? I want to believe you'd tell me I'll be incapable of being the best mother to my daughter if I'm not happy myself. That's what I want to hear. But I can't put words in your mouth when you're not here." I exhaled deeply. "I really need you." As birds chirped around me, I prayed for a sign. After a few minutes, when I felt some raindrops, I took that as my cue to leave. Before I walked away, though, I looked down and noticed that someone had left something at my mother's grave. Holy wow. What were the chances? It had to be a sign from Mom telling me following my heart wasn't just the best decision, it was the only choice. I picked up the single rosebud and raised it toward the sky. "Thanks, Mama." *** Back at home, I realized I had to get this over with before the stress killed me. Casey's mother had already been watching Rosie today, so I asked if she could take her for a few more hours tonight so I could talk to Casey as soon as he got home. My stomach was upset. My legs were shaky. And more than that, I felt like the worst person ever. Like I deserved nothing but an angry, hateful reaction from him. Casey was going to be blindsided. I should've made this decision months ago when Dorian came to town. Even then I'd known what my heart desired, even if I refused to accept it. Instead, I'd sat on the inevitable. Now we were that much closer to the wedding, and everything would be so much harder. It wasn't just Casey's heart I was about to shatter. My daughter had been looking forward to wearing her princess dress, to seeing her parents united forever. I only hoped she was still young enough that she wouldn't clearly remember this time in her life when her mother turned her world upside down. When the door opened, I felt ready to drop, like my legs might collapse under me. A look of alarm crossed Casey's face. "Babe? What's going on? Did something happen?" "No!" I wiped the sweat from my forehead. "Everything is fine. Rosie is with your mother for a few more hours." "Why is she still there?" "There's something we need to talk about. I needed to be alone with you." The room felt wobbly. "Okay..." He put his hands on my arms and looked into my eyes. "Are you having doubts about the wedding?" I was surprised that he'd immediately jumped to the correct conclusion. But I was downright shocked at the next question that came out of his mouth. "Is this about Dorian Vanderbilt?" He let go of me suddenly. I nearly fell back at the sound of Dorian's name exiting Casey's mouth. "How do you know his name?" He paced. "You've been acting strangely for some time now. I'm sorry to say that after you've gone to sleep at night, I've occasionally checked your phone and computer. I can see your search history. Almost every day, you search that name." He stopped for a moment. "I looked him up and discovered he's from Orion Coast. I know you lived there with your aunt before we met. I put two and two together and realized he must have been the ex you've alluded to but would never speak about, the man you said broke your heart, yet you've given me almost no details about it over the years." "Yes...that's him." I cleared my throat. "What else did you find?" "I read an article that said he was presumed missing at one time, but later it was revealed he'd been in hiding. Pretty crazy story." I felt entirely numb. "Why didn't you confront me about it?" "Because I wanted to hear it from you first." He sighed. "And I didn't want to believe any of it meant anything. I'd hoped your searching was just innocent curiosity. But given the look on your face when I walked in just now, I have a bad feeling about this." He let out a long breath. "What were you about to tell me, Primrose?" I closed my eyes a moment. There was no other way to explain it than to tell Casey the absolute truth from the very beginning. "Can we sit, please?" With a shaky hand, I gestured to the sofa. I took a deep breath and went back to the time right after Aunt Christina died, explaining my time with Dorian at the mansion, his breaking up with me, and ending with Dorian's recent stay in Cincinnati. "I haven't been having an affair with him, Casey," I concluded. "Just an emotional one," he countered. I couldn't argue with that. "I promise that nothing physical happened while he was here. But I haven't been able to move past it." "Because you still love him?" His eyes glistened. "Is that what you're trying to say?" I took a deep breath and muttered the only answer that was true. "Yes." "And you never loved me? Or you only loved me so long as he was dead to you..." "I do love you," I insisted. He crossed his arms. "But it's not the same kind of love as you have for him." With tears in my eyes, I shook my head. "It's not." I'd come too far to deny anything anymore. Casey dropped his head into his hands before looking up at me. "I knew something was wrong. I should've blown the lid off it earlier...but I needed you to tell me. I suppose, too, a part of me didn't want to know. But I'm not stupid. Things haven't been right with us for a long time. You stopped wanting to sleep with me..." He exhaled. "This explains so much." Tears welled in my eyes. "Our daughter deserves better than me." He met my gaze. "You're a damn good mother, Primrose. None of this changes that." "How can you say that right now?" I sniffled. "Because it's the truth. Regardless of what happens with us, you're a good mother. You give every bit of yourself to Rosie every day." He sighed. "You don't think I've known you had your doubts about us? I've just ignored it because I haven't wanted to believe I could lose you. But obviously, I can't ignore it anymore." "I don't deserve you," I murmured. "You deserve someone who fights for you." He placed his hands on my shoulders. "I love you-just as much, if not more, than this guy, whether you realize it or not, and regardless of whether you return the sentiment. I'm not letting you go that easily." This wasn't the reaction I'd expected. Not sure how anyone could still have hope after what I'd just thrown at him. "Don't get me wrong," he continued. "That doesn't mean I'm gonna make things difficult for you, if you want to be with him. It just means I'm not gonna give up without a fight. My family is on the line, but this isn't just about Rosie. I wouldn't try to save us if I didn't love you. I'll always love our daughter. That goes without saying. But even if she didn't exist, I love you, Primrose. I'd want to spend my life with you even if we didn't have a child together. I don't want to lose you." He suddenly stood. "That said, I'm letting you go." Huh? I stared up at Casey. He continued, "You were going to tell me the wedding is off. I'm not giving up hope when it comes to us, or our family, but I think you need to go live what you think is your dream. See if it's really what you want or if it's just an illusion." I shook my head. "What are you saying?" "I'm saying you should go to California." "I can't just leave Rosie and go to California. I-" "Rosie will be fine for a week. I'm not saying go indefinitely. But you should go." He looked at me for a long moment. "Maybe you need to see that the grass isn't actually greener." "I'm not sure I can resolve anything in a week." "Then take more time. I just don't think you're gonna be able to be away from Rosie for much longer, which is why I said a week." "You're right. I won't be." I rubbed my temples. "I can't believe you're encouraging me to do this." "Were you not going to end things with me today?" I hesitated. "I was going to tell you the truth about what's been happening and call off the wedding." "Well, then, I don't have much to lose, do I?" His stare was incendiary. "So, before you have a chance to break up with me, I'm breaking up with you. I'm making you a single woman again, giving you the space to figure out what you really want." I narrowed my eyes. "There has to be a catch somewhere." "No catch. I'm not playing games. I don't do that with my daughter's future. And yeah, maybe I'm also trying to come out of this with my damn pride intact." He ran a hand through his hair. "I've given this relationship my all. No matter what comes out of this, I have no regrets." "Nor should you. You've been the best partner and father to Rosie." Casey grabbed his jacket. "I'm gonna get out of here for a bit. Need some air. Let me know when you're leaving." With that, he was out the door. In a romance-themed observation show, several participants undergo a series of interactions and conflicts filled with love, misunderstandings, and power struggles. In the end, one couple rises to over...